Feeling the need to vent...
 

So im on day 16 now and have just experienced true ridiculousness! Im not looking for a relationship at this point in my life, I figure why complicate my recovery efforts. That being said, I had a text from a girl that wants to date me this morning.(she is a non-drinker) This is a person that went out of her way to express how much she cared about me a few days ago. I was honest and told her that now wasn't the best time and finally just flat out told her, "hey, im a recovering alcoholic and im trying to get my life right". So she had a few questions and asked how long I had gone without and how I knew that I had a problem. She seemed very genuine and compassionate so I answered her. When I answered she insisted that I was just confused and didn't have a problem.. So I explained myself in detail thinking maybe she didn't hear me the first time and she still insisted that I did not have a drinking problem.. She blamed it on my loneliness and depression.(which started as a result of me drinking heavily) LOL I wanted to ask her about buffalo wings and chicken of the sea tuna but decided to be nice.

:headbange -Frustration-

She must be confused because of you age.
But, we all know addiction can start at any age.

I honestly think her heart is in the right place, but she just doesn't understand addiction. Ive come across a lot that don't understand lately, including my own mother. Of course that's not at shot at those that don't understand by any means.

I like your Jessica Simpson reference :) way to go on your 16 days.

She may be codependent which would not be great for you in early sobriety.
Well done on 16 days so far, focus on yourself for now, one day at a time.

I think you're right that a lot of people really don't understand addiction.

And I think alcohol really affects some of us differently than others, so I think it's really hard for somebody who's not an alcoholic to understand how it is for us. Hence lots of people that try to tell us that we just 'need to moderate' or things like that which really don't work for an alcoholic.

You can't make them understand. It's like trying to explain to somebody who was born blind what it's like to 'see'. They're not going to really understand because it's not something they can sense. But when you do have the sense of sight, you just know, and no blind person would ever be able to convince you that you can't.

Good job on knowing that it's not a good time for a relationship for you and at least honestly communicating that with her. Keep your boundaries clear and let her ignorance and denial be her problem.

On one hand having a relationship with someone that doesn't drink would probably be good but don't expect her to understand. Only an alcoholic like ourselves understand what horrible places we have been. My husband and I are both alcoholics now in recovery and we both understand but it makes me wonder if one of us were sober would that have helped us to stay sober? God look over you and give you strength to get your peace of mind back. What a great place that is!!!

Its odd, when we try and change our lives and selves for the better, we run into people who just dont seem to want that to occur. It can be family, friends, partners, or even newbies who selfishly want something from you, and could care less about what it is you are working on or trying to accomplish. Is she a doctor? Has she been where you were? I doubt it, so maybe you should seriously distance yourself from her and people like her. Ive run into people who have told me I am not a "real alcoholic" because I was able to quit on my own with the help of god and determination. They werent there when I was blacked out and burning holes in my couch because I was passing out.......or for the millions of other things I did I wasnt proud of, so basically their opinion doesnt count to me. Stick to what you are trying to do, and to hell with everyone else who may stand in your way.............and they will pop up from the most unexpected places. ;)

Very well spoken nighthawk! I agree with you 100% I tried this before back in 2010 and instead of support, I had my lifelong friends telling me that I didn't have a problem because I had a successful business at the time. As I have written in other posts, these friends that had my back were nowhere to be found when the bottom fell out of my life.. Funny old world isn't it?! lol