Want to give up
 

Well I really dread my teacher training and I feel so over what I am doing. I miss my home and I do not have anyone here I can talk to except my counselor and the training takes up all the working hours this week. My depression is serious and I really need to talk to my counselor but these stupid people make us do this training all day long. So, I am either going to smoke or drink. Today is day 6 and I do not want to drink, but I might have to smoke until I get some sober time. This school sucks and I just feel so dumb for drinking and making bad decisions.

Hi Acheleus, Day 6! Yea! Come into the chatroom and have some companionship. You don't have to do this alone. :You_Rock_

Acheleus I commend your efforts in trying to quit alcohol and smoking (cigarettes) simultaneously! If there is too much on you plate then maybe the smoking cessation should wait until you've gotten more comfortable in your sobriety! While no one is going to say smoking is healthy your main focus should be sobriety depression school. If you counciling isn't working perhaps you need to look for additional help.

Hey you!

Major congrats on day 6! That is huge -the first days are the hardest ones!

Don't quit quite yet. You are probably still "in the fog" a bit. It all gets clearer and even if life isn't perfect in sobriety, it sure is a gazillion times better! Don't stop trying 5 minutes before the miracle happens!

Is going home and finding a new job an option?

You might have to smoke? Are you talking
about cigarettes, a pipe, or cigar till you get
some sober time?

If so.... I learned in early recovery to concentrate
on learning to stay sober first and then later focus
on other issues....like smoking.

Trying to quit everything all at one time is
pretty difficult. Learning to stay sober a day
at a time is a huge task in itself.

I wouldn't worry about smoking as much
at this stage in early recovery as I would
drinking.

Once you have a good solid foundation
in sobriety and have all the tools and
knowledge of your addiction to not drink
each day, then you can focus on applying
tools and knowledge to stop smoking.

I was about 7 yrs sober when my little
family relocated to Houston. I absolutely
hated it, but at that time I had to accept
it because the move had nothing to do
with me.

I left my recovery support system and
Recovery Family and felt lost. However,
I use the tools provided to me that I learned
in early recovery and applied them to my
everyday life to remain sober no matter
what the situation was.

Fast forward, 10 yrs later, and because
I use my recovery program in Houston,
my prayers were answered and found myself
returning to my own hometown where I
never wanted to leave in the first place.

My little family grew and moved on in
their lives remaining in Texas happy,
healthy, while I moved on in my sober
life, remarried 4 yrs now after a 25 yrs
marriage in the first part of my life.

I am right where I am suppose to be
continueing on my recovery life inching
towards 23 yrs sober on August 11th.

As long as I live in recovery then I have
that foundation to help me plow thru all
of lifes situtions. Good and bad.

I know I just cannot deal with emotional pain without alcohol. Hangovers helped me even because I could not think about all the horrible things I feel all the time. Maybe I will have to just smoke and deal with that after 6 months or so of sobriety. I mean I have smoked for years, what is six months going to hurt? I feel like I died and went to hell. Maybe it is the anti anxiety medication I am taking. Maybe I am crazy and should just get on disability and say **** it.

Yea I might just get some cigarettes so I can at least think. I cannot even read a book without a cigarette.

Hey Acheleus, thanks for coming here and posting. I always appreciate your honesty. I agree with Inperfectly and sharon that giving up everything at once is hard and you could focus on staying sober for now and tackle the ciggies later. I've also quit smoking as well as drinking but if I had to choose between having a cigarette or picking up a drink, I would absolutely choose the ciggie every time.

I really need to get rid of the beer that is in the fridge...Gonna go throw that in the dumpster.

Yep, good idea, do it now. It's so liberating! :)

Well, if the cigarettes will lessen the alcohol cravings then I would say go with the 'lesser evil'.

I did some throwing out of beer and other stuff too when I quit.

I was hesitating, but in the end I just took the unopened cans and bottles and took them outdoors to the dumpster. I didn't want to do any pouring out. Opening cans can be triggering for me.

It's one of the best things I ever did. You can always go back to the misery later if you choose to.

Use your recovery program with your
addiction to alcohol to not drink. What
we learn is important. Anything and
everything that is associated with drinking
or alcohol has to be gone. Nothing to hold
onto for later days. Nothing to tempt you.

Nothing in the refrigerater, drawers, cabinets,
hiding places for just such emergencies. If
alcohol is not in reach or near by then one
can not drink, Right?

We use our physicians, doctors, councilors
to help with emotional or medical problems.
If medicine is prescribed, make sure you
are honest and right up front with your
doctor about being in recovery and not to
prescribe anything narcotic or habit forming.


When drinking and even smoking, we are
putting toxins and poisons in our systems
destroying and killing important things in
our bodies that are to kept us healthy and
strong. Over time we have a chemical
embalance where everything inside us
is out of wack.

See your doctor for a complete physical
and work with them to improve ur insides
so you can feel healthy again.

Doctors are available to help us as we
age and if we honest with them and
you have a good relationship with them
then they will work with you properly
to help you feel better.

Now, you should have a program of
recovery to help you learn to not drink
each day, a doctor to help you feel up
to par. Now you are on the road to living
a more healthier, happier, honest life in
recovery. One day at a time.

And you are not alone and you don't have
to go thru recovery on your own, ever. :)

Listen and follow suggestions to guide you
along your journey.

I'm sorry I just don't know what to do and I don't have anywhere else to go right now except this place. Maybe the medicine I am taking is making me feel worse. Day 6 and I am glad to be sober.

I dunno Ach - I guess I'll be the odd voice out.

You gave up drinking and smoking for good reasons, yeah?

By taking up smoking again isn't that kind of like compromising with your AV - you're kinda here saying I can't face life without some kind of addiction, some kind of crutch - and that's just not true.

There is a lot of help around to help you cope - there's help here, there's help with your Dr and counsellor - maybe you need more help there?

I bet there other kinds of help at your school too.

It's up to you in the end, but if you're going to look for help to help you cope, isn't it better to look healthy life affirming help, not self destructive addictive help?

D

Oh but you can deal with emotional pain without alcohol. You can. That is your addiction talking to you. Millions of people do, and you can too. Hang in there. If you feel you can't do both at once how about going to the drugstore and buying some nicotine lozenges or gum for now. Get the 2 mg and just use one whenever you feel this overwhelming urge to smoke or drink. Maybe that's a compromise that might help you through this?

Congrats on your 6 days,it's hard enough to quit drinking and drugging and smoking,I'd have to say I have stayed smoking while I'm new in recovery as well,I couldn't give it all up at once,it's too much so I'd suggest maybe just smoke until you feel like your more stable,at least smoking can't turn your life upside down like the booze can,keep your head up and hang in there one day at a time...best of luck to you!!!!!

Just got home after a LONG day and going to give into fast food craving then maybe watch some shark week, do my grading and homework, then try to sleep. Day 6 and I have had no alcohol or cigarettes. I felt bad comparing myself to others in my program and I need to stop doing that. I hope I have more energy tomorrow. Thank you all for the kind words, I will stay strong. Maybe after some sober time I will be able to find out what makes me happy.

Don't give up! I have followed your quest for sobriety here on SR and I KNOW how much you've had to struggle for each day. It really will get a bit easier if you hold on. I hope you make it today. I am struggling too - financial stress making me want to use or drink just to escape - but it is no longer an option for me. I know each time I go out it gets harder to return to sobriety. What if I go drink and I never get here again? What if you do? We need you. Stay close!