Aa and a box of tissues
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Clifton
Posts: 243
Aa and a box of tissues
Last night was a very emotional night.. I went to a meeting and every single person that shared touched on issues or feelings etc.. That I am going thru. I was so overwhelmed by the time I went outside I was having a panic/anxiety attack.. People could tell by my face.
Luckily my sponsor and her sponsor were there and tried to help me ... This program is scary in my mind because I think it works but you have to be willing to do the work, that scares me.. Here I am up since 3am crying and thinking... So I have decided that I will have to start sharing. I see these people come in and talk about whatever is bothering them or is working for them, I will have to get use to opening up ... I cry every time I open my mouth... I choke even when I introduce myself as an alcoholic. Sooo I am going to bring a box of tissues to every meeting because if I let my feelings take over it will be a waterfall ... But maybe that is just what I need to start the healing?
They keep saying 90 meetings in 90 days, that will be a lot of tears.... I think I am overwhelmed by this...
Luckily my sponsor and her sponsor were there and tried to help me ... This program is scary in my mind because I think it works but you have to be willing to do the work, that scares me.. Here I am up since 3am crying and thinking... So I have decided that I will have to start sharing. I see these people come in and talk about whatever is bothering them or is working for them, I will have to get use to opening up ... I cry every time I open my mouth... I choke even when I introduce myself as an alcoholic. Sooo I am going to bring a box of tissues to every meeting because if I let my feelings take over it will be a waterfall ... But maybe that is just what I need to start the healing?
They keep saying 90 meetings in 90 days, that will be a lot of tears.... I think I am overwhelmed by this...
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Try and not get overwhelmed Silvy 
it's easy to leap ahead, but all you I and everyone else has to do is stay sober today.
There's a lot of help and support both here & at AA
as for the crying - I cried a lot too - I had 20 years worth, backed up, that had to come out - it's cathartic
D
it's easy to leap ahead, but all you I and everyone else has to do is stay sober today.
There's a lot of help and support both here & at AA
as for the crying - I cried a lot too - I had 20 years worth, backed up, that had to come out - it's cathartic
D
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
It can be very emotional. I cried the first time I spoke up. I always hated crying. I never wanted anyone to see my emotions. I always cried alone. The only emotion anyone ever saw was anger.
Open up when you are ready. There are still times I start to share and the emotions hit me and I can feel I am going to cry so I wrap up my comment but it is getting easier because I am facing them and dealing with them. I am understanding where they come from and learning to let them go.
Try and take it one day at a time. One share at a time and in some cases one emotion at a time.
It can feel overwhelming because I saw it as one huge issue and I wanted it to go away right now. I wanted to be fixed today but I did not get this way in one day. It is a journey and I need to take one step at a time.
Open up when you are ready. There are still times I start to share and the emotions hit me and I can feel I am going to cry so I wrap up my comment but it is getting easier because I am facing them and dealing with them. I am understanding where they come from and learning to let them go.
Try and take it one day at a time. One share at a time and in some cases one emotion at a time.
It can feel overwhelming because I saw it as one huge issue and I wanted it to go away right now. I wanted to be fixed today but I did not get this way in one day. It is a journey and I need to take one step at a time.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Originally Posted by GracieLou 
I always hated crying. I never wanted anyone to see my emotions. I always cried alone. The only emotion anyone ever saw was anger.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 175
Hey Silvy, hang in there, let's be sober together, with everyone else here at SR !! I must admit that although I'm only 4 days in, to both my commitment to clean up and also to the forum, that I have also shed a few tears in reading other people's stories, and reflecting on my own crappy life at the hands of alcohol addiction.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Clifton
Posts: 243
GracieLou I was seeing as you described one issue. My sponsor said you r on step one remain grounded and don't worry about anything else... But emotions are not easy to control and I don't think I want to.. I feel better .. I drank to control and change my emotions and hide...
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
As said this too shall pass as you see the situation and seem willing to work on it. So many good things will happen if we stay sober one day at a time, and most of us hate that four letter word TIME. It's interesting that once people like you and I finally open up it's like an dam opening with all the repressed emotions and feelings pouring out and we often ask ourselves "where did that come from?" It happened frequently when speaking at AA meetings from the podium where I think I got more from it than the listeners. BE WELL
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
I never go to an AA meeting without tissues.,not for myself these days,for others!
You are doing great,early sobriety is an emotional roller coaster,it will get better.
Only share if you want to,if you think it will be helpful go for it,but don't think you have to.
I wish you well.
You are doing great,early sobriety is an emotional roller coaster,it will get better.
Only share if you want to,if you think it will be helpful go for it,but don't think you have to.
I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 212
I know how you feel. I can barely cry in front of my family. It is very scary for me to cry in AA. But, I see other people cry and it feels good to know when I do cry there will be no judgment or pity. Just people who listen and understand. My Sponser and I were talking about this exact thing. And at the next meeting she talked about something very emotional and cried. I am sure the pain was real, but I also think she brought up the pain to show me that emotions are OK. I can't express enough how much these people and you guys mean to me. So the short of it is go ahead and cry.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Silvy69
Sooo I am going to bring a box of tissues to every meeting because if I let my feelings take over it will be a waterfall ... But maybe that is just what I need to start the healing?
Within the context that you describe, there's a part of you (the crying part) that's asking for protection and care, the kind of protection and care that parents can provide. As is also true when we're children, crying promotes caring behaviors from others, and then, in turn, deepens our connections with them. People who respond to another person's crying with frustration, anger or dismissiveness usually carry their owned unresolved grief issues.
Throughout our lives, crying remains as a reaction to loss, a trigger for caring responses from others, and a signal to others that we need emotional support, again strengthening our attachments to other people.
When people don't cry on occasions in which it would seem appropriate to do so, such as following the death of a friend, this typically signals unresolved grief, further suggesting that their attachment to others is failing or insufficient.
Pain, suffering, crying...All present us with opportunities to figure out what's important to us and what it is we need to feel whole.
When we try to hold back our tears, we are interfering with both a necessary and important natural process, while denying ourselves opportunities for growth.
Keep on crying. You'll stop when you no longer need to cry.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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EndGame thank you for your words they really help... I am starting to share now, it isn't a lot but it is making me feel better.. I am not holding back, I think I am tired of hiding my feelings that is what I did drunk ... I have to say one thing, even with this emotional rollercoaster that I am going thru I haven't even been tempted to drink, nor thought about when I was really crying last night... I think the crying is releasing tension and helping me stay sober... AA members are very caring and I am happy to be able to say today 22 days... We can do it!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
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Originally Posted by Silvy69
But maybe that is just what I need to start the healing?
I cried when I went to get my white chip, I cried when I picked up my 30 and 60 day chips. I cry when I have sessions with my sponsor. I thought that I was just really emotional because of abstaining. I don't mean crying because I couldn't drink rather the changes in emotions from abstaining. However, I knew there was something much more to it. Last Sunday I was completing step 3 with my sponsor and moving into step 4. When it came to the 3rd step prayer she asked me to sit facing eachother and join hands to say it. I had a hard time getting through it and the tears were streaming down my face.
What a feeling that was. When I was done crying it was if though someone had lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. There is so much pain and hurt inside that I ignored for so long. The tremendous release of pressure is extremely overwhelming.
Now I know why, I am healing, and what a powerful and moving feeling that is.
Thank you Silvy and EndGame for helping me to understand this.
I love this board.
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