Weasel1966

Monday.... From first I open my eyes I can tell I am still drunk from the weekend. Lean over to drink water I left beside my bed from Friday in hopes that a few sips will hydrate me into sobriety. Get to work woozy and try to be invisible. Look no one in the eye for fear they can tell. The day long.

Tuesday.... Getting ready for work I feel proud of myself because I only had 10 shots last night and can still remember what I had for dinner. Tell myself things are really starting to improve. I believe myself.

Wednesday... I am able to greet my boss at my desk and look up confident I can answer any questions with a clear head. My energy returns a bit. My stomach still in knots from the past weekends exploits. Memories still fuzzy. Guilt and shame are starting to subside until I geta flashback. I cringe. On my way home from work I tell myself I will not drink tonight. Just go get some ice cream and relax. I arrive at the bar by 5:30pm.

Thursday... Forgetting it Thursday and not Friday I wake excited for my weekend.... Until I remember what day it is. Trying to remind myself of the distant past of the weekend before. Guilt and shame seem far away as the time to Friday counts down. At work I am energetic and fun to be around. A stark difference from Monday. People say I must be in a really good mood. No.... Just the weekend is coming. TGIF...

Friday... I jump outta bed. Try and scheme a reason to leave work early. I have a million stories and reasons. A friend of a friend died and have to go to the wake. Need to help a friend with car trouble. Stomach flu. I arrive at the bar by 3pm. Walk down the bar greeting each of the regulars until I get to my bar stool waiting patiently for me. Beer and rocks glass of voldka already at my station.

Saturday... Come too to find my front door still wide open from the night before. I do an inventory check. Cats... TV.... Try to find my wallet and keys. Look in my wallet to see what I don't have in there and check the receipt from the bar to know what time I got home. Say to myself I am never doing that again. I will not drink today. And I believe myself.

Sunday... Come too as the bright sunny day shines through on my face. I turn over to protest. I try to do a weeks worth of chores in a few hours taking breaks because I have the alcoholic flop sweat and my heart is racing. The wallet routine complete I figure I got a good nights sleep all things considering. I will not drink today. And I believe myself.

Monday.... From first I open my eyes I can tell I am still drunk.......

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This is not me today. I type this Monday morning with a clear head and warm heart. Welcome to my sobriety!

Ken

butterfly33

Oh how those weeks turn into months, the months into years...

Thank you for this sad reminder Weasel - I will put this in my toolbox.

Have a nice, sober Monday!

visch1

Thanks! "I will not drink today. And I believe myself."
Such a good remember when as I said it too many times. BE WELL

Louise82

Thanks Weasel. It really is amazing to wake up on a Monday morning clear-headed and ready to pack as much living as possible into the week ahead. I literally cried with joy earlier at how different my life is now, after just 28 days back!

resolute50

My weeks were a little different,but,with the same results.
I would be looking at the clock in my office every 5 minutes and count the hours till the end of the day.

BikerAcct

Walk down the bar greeting each of the regulars until I get to my bar stool waiting patiently for me. Beer and rocks glass of vodka already at my station.

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I always used to think this was a good thing, the bartenders knowing what I wanted before I even sat down. Now, I realize different.

great post.

seahorse661

Thanks for the reminder

Hevyn

Ken - Such a valuable post. That was me almost exactly. Amazing, since we're of totally different ages and genders . The only difference is it wouldn't have been water I'd be leaning over & sipping on Monday - but a leftover beer. (That was at the end of my career though.)

I will be printing this out. We must never forget where we've come from. Thank you.

Weasel1966

Thanks!

I feel like every Monday is a gift!

I will never forget the many crazy things I have done for drinking and drugs.

Mizzuno

You know how Cheers was a really funny sitcom and they all seemed like family to one another? It was jovial and no one seemed drunk as they played out the comic drama. In real life, having your own bar stool is not that pleasant. Spending all your money and waking up with pics posted of scenes that you cant remember is frightening. " I did what?" And, leaving the stove on all night will actually kill everyone. "You don't remember a thing do you?" Says your loving husband as you grip your head and proceed to head into the bathroom for a series of releasing and dry heaving.
Life is much more pleasant. Italian Soda does not make me break out in handcuffs.

HeadLump

So many gifts come from being sober. Sometimes I think it was almost worth the pain of drinking to be able to really appreciate the wonder in life