I had a slip and you know what?
 

My husband took the opportunity to tell me exactly what is wrong with me.
I am not a bad person. I care. I have love. Really - he told me that i didn't clean enough that the sugar ants will come in. I suck.

I don't think you suck Laura....but p[eople took the opportunity to tell me what they thought many times too.

Really what they were saying was 'you're better than what you're allowing yourself here', I think? :)

D

He is drunk. Sigh.

Take yourself away from it. Go for a walk, go to a meeting. Remind yourself of the stories you've read on here and glean inspiration. We are all in the same boat. You do not suck!

What does this mean?

It means that the only time he feels comfy enough to tell me that I suck is when I slip and am intoxicated. That is bad. Has anyone ever been through this?

Please clarify!?

Clarification.
I am in a state in which I am receptive to anything. Husband took the opportunity to unleash.

My husband is a controller. It's very hard to live with. I could write a book, but, eventually, you have to live your life for you. It's very, very hard, one day I will have the strength to end it, but for now I think a lot of relationships are habit.

Just dismiss it as "drunk talk." My boyfriend talks the same way when drinking. When he's not drinking, he would NEVER badmouth me.

Tomorrow is a new day. Start again. Come back to 24 club earthsteps, we want to support you as well.

Thank you Dee.

Did he say that you suck, or did he say that the ants are coming in because the cleaning job was not thorough enough?

Both.
I am a stay at home mom. He makes the money, he shouldn't have to deal with ants.

The cleanest houses have ants, spiders, and even mice.

You don't suck. You are a wonderful person.:c011:

And, your job is equally important. Full time parenting is for warriors in my opinion. I am not sure how you all do it.
If he is drinking do not engage in his conversation. Keep it level and please try to remain neutral. Tomorrow will be a different day, and he may apologize for his words.
Ants will make their way into the home regardless of cleaning and what not. I have ants in my bathroom right now. They have found their way to the body wash. It is that time of year.

(((HUG)) to you.

Often ants are actually coming in for the water, they can last for a long time without food but ants need water everyday.

Earthsteps, are you saying you are drinking now so you are both intoxicated?

There are some things you can change, some you can't.

You can't change that ants came in, but you can make them leave. Well, your husband can. By paying a bug guy.

I used to live in FL. (Still have a place there I go to with some frequency and hopefully will live there again someday.) Gulf Coast. It's the buggiest place in the US. You know who I loved? The bug exterminator guys. It doesn't matter how clean you are, you live in a tropical swamp. I am a clean person for the most part and when I lived in FL I had to call bug guys to come a few times a year. Everyone does.

I'm not sure if this preceded the slip- if it did, it's no reason to drink, if it didn't, it's no reason to keep drinking.

Even if you didn't clean up after the kids' cookie project last week and the ants came in, it's no reason for domestic strife. It's ants. In Florida. In summer.

Hugs.