Help, please help
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hope you come back tomorrow Dorian. Maybe don't buy any alcohol tomorrow.Don't be ashamed of going to AA if you want to go. We think people don't know we have a problem but they do. If you're buying 2-3 bottles of wine a day in a small town people will know anyway. I know I used to go to different shops trying to hide it but people still know really. Nothing to be ashamed about getting healthy and sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 57
First of all, thank you all so much for the support. Your posts have made me realize that I am not the only one. It feels like that sometimes.
Today I'm staying sober. I've educated myself about the withdrawal risks and the warning signs, so if it doesn't seem right, I'll call a doctor. Also, I've found an AA meeting location. They have meetings 3 or 4 times a week. So after the weekend I'll give them a call and start going to meetings.
I hope that's enough to keep me clean, otherwise I'll see what else is possible. My doctor can refer me I suppose.
I feel good about this. It's like yesterday was the breaking point for me. As in, this can't and shouldn't go on any longer. I want a normal life.
What I do feel is regret over the time and money I've wasted. But the past is the past and there's nothing that can change it. Time to look forward and actually go for the life that I want.
Today I'm staying sober. I've educated myself about the withdrawal risks and the warning signs, so if it doesn't seem right, I'll call a doctor. Also, I've found an AA meeting location. They have meetings 3 or 4 times a week. So after the weekend I'll give them a call and start going to meetings.
I hope that's enough to keep me clean, otherwise I'll see what else is possible. My doctor can refer me I suppose.
I feel good about this. It's like yesterday was the breaking point for me. As in, this can't and shouldn't go on any longer. I want a normal life.
What I do feel is regret over the time and money I've wasted. But the past is the past and there's nothing that can change it. Time to look forward and actually go for the life that I want.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Feeling regret, shame, etc is often part of the process of early recovery. It's hard, but you can get through it. There is always support here, and we do understand how difficult this is. Whether you use AA or another recovery method, please know that we are here for you.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Welcome Dorian : ) I'm so very glad to see you here posting today. I am a fan of whatever recovery plan keeps us drawing sober breath. Mine is somewhat multi-format as I am a lot more open to anything to keep from drinking than I used to be. That is what I find helpful..the willingness to do whatever it takes this time.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Welcome! It took me a long time, but I really had to make it clear in my brain that THE PROBLEM was my drinking caused my misery and I could not stop or control it to avoid the misery. It had nothing to do with how much I drank, how much others drank, what others thought of me, whether or not I was high functioning, whether or not I appeared drunk, or whether or not I had lost some things or everything.
Take care. The first days can be a challenge, but you can get through them.
Take care. The first days can be a challenge, but you can get through them.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Fantastic Dorian! Day one is one heck of a day.
Today is an anniversary for me, my day one: on this date 5 years ago I walked into an outpatient rehab clinic in the AM and in the PM went to my first AA meeting. It's been one heck of a journey, sometimes hard as hXXL, and I had some relapses, but I kept going to my clinic and my meetings and wouldn't give up.
Going to AA is a great idea because it is a program. If you aren't that crazy about it, try something else, but just remember that having a program gives you all of that great structure and support we need to recover. Doing it alone...well, I think we have all tried it and it's pretty lonely.
Today is an anniversary for me, my day one: on this date 5 years ago I walked into an outpatient rehab clinic in the AM and in the PM went to my first AA meeting. It's been one heck of a journey, sometimes hard as hXXL, and I had some relapses, but I kept going to my clinic and my meetings and wouldn't give up.
Going to AA is a great idea because it is a program. If you aren't that crazy about it, try something else, but just remember that having a program gives you all of that great structure and support we need to recover. Doing it alone...well, I think we have all tried it and it's pretty lonely.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Welcome! I am glad to see you today. It is good to see that you are willing to give sobriety a chance. I too, have regret about all the money spent, and the time that i have wasted while being intoxicated. You can do this, and you are not alone. There are many roads to recovery and they all can work. We are here for support!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Congrats on your first sober day Dorian 
It does get easier with time and all the support you need. AA is not the only option but you will hear about all the other approaches around here. I use a bit of everything but SR has been my main and only consistent support. Glad you're here x
It does get easier with time and all the support you need. AA is not the only option but you will hear about all the other approaches around here. I use a bit of everything but SR has been my main and only consistent support. Glad you're here x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 57
What a great community this is! So many nice and helpful people.
It's interesting. I'm past the time of day that I usually would start drinking. And the withdrawal is starting already. I didn't know it could happen this fast. Or maybe it's my anxiety about quitting that is manifesting as physical symptoms.
It might sound strange, but I am actually happy to feel this way. It means that I'm not drinking. And it's temporary anyway.
All I want to do now is to go to bed and let it all happen. And be happy about being sober, I can see the future getting brighter already.
I'll keep you updated. My plan is to post once every day for as long as is necessary.
Thanks again!
It's interesting. I'm past the time of day that I usually would start drinking. And the withdrawal is starting already. I didn't know it could happen this fast. Or maybe it's my anxiety about quitting that is manifesting as physical symptoms.
It might sound strange, but I am actually happy to feel this way. It means that I'm not drinking. And it's temporary anyway.
All I want to do now is to go to bed and let it all happen. And be happy about being sober, I can see the future getting brighter already.
I'll keep you updated. My plan is to post once every day for as long as is necessary.
Thanks again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 57
Last night was my first night sober and I can say that it was easily the strangest night I've ever had.
It was mainly short phases of light to medium level sleep with weird nightmares. I felt terrified for no reason I can identify and to be honest, I didn't know someone could sweat that much. But well, the quicker it leaves my body, the better.
One thing that concerned me was there was a phase were every once in a while a random part of my body would suddenly jerk quite heavily. My mouth even spontaneously popped open twice.
I decided I'd keep an eye on it and if it got worse, I'd call a doctor. But it went away fortunately.
Right now I simply feel sick. So much so that I can't even stomach the idea of having a drink, which is actually quite convenient.
For the following couple of days I'm keeping it simple. Stay hydrated, eat if I can and at least take a multivitamin. And once the worst is over, I'm going to see my doctor. I came to the conclusion that it would be the best first step. He can look at my situation and recommend the best course of action.
It was mainly short phases of light to medium level sleep with weird nightmares. I felt terrified for no reason I can identify and to be honest, I didn't know someone could sweat that much. But well, the quicker it leaves my body, the better.
One thing that concerned me was there was a phase were every once in a while a random part of my body would suddenly jerk quite heavily. My mouth even spontaneously popped open twice.
I decided I'd keep an eye on it and if it got worse, I'd call a doctor. But it went away fortunately.
Right now I simply feel sick. So much so that I can't even stomach the idea of having a drink, which is actually quite convenient.
For the following couple of days I'm keeping it simple. Stay hydrated, eat if I can and at least take a multivitamin. And once the worst is over, I'm going to see my doctor. I came to the conclusion that it would be the best first step. He can look at my situation and recommend the best course of action.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Canada
Posts: 144
Welcome, Dorian. I'm new around here but this is a wonderful community and place for knowledge and support.
Even if you are able to think and act normally with a lot of alcohol in your system, you are still doing physical damage to your body.
Also, don't kid yourself... Many alcoholics think that no one can tell they've been drinking, when really - they can.
As far as people in your small town seeing you at an AA meeting- find comfort in the fact that the people in the meeting are just like you. They are people who drink too much and need help, fellowship and guidance to stay away from their addiction. And as for the other people - isn't it better to be the point of gossip for getting clean than to be the point of gossip for being a drunk?
Even if you are able to think and act normally with a lot of alcohol in your system, you are still doing physical damage to your body.
Also, don't kid yourself... Many alcoholics think that no one can tell they've been drinking, when really - they can.
As far as people in your small town seeing you at an AA meeting- find comfort in the fact that the people in the meeting are just like you. They are people who drink too much and need help, fellowship and guidance to stay away from their addiction. And as for the other people - isn't it better to be the point of gossip for getting clean than to be the point of gossip for being a drunk?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Or.
Posts: 109
I went to visit my husband in rehab (we are both alcoholics) and learned that alcoholism is a disease of perception. How we think that others see us. Its always in a negative light. But it is far from the truth. Our perception has gotten so out of focus because of chronic alcoholism that we don't know what normal is anymore. We need to realize that for us the addiction is a real thing and not worry so much about others but start worrying about you and getting healthy again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 57
These responses really help keep me motivated!
A challenge has come up and I was wondering if it sounds familiar to anyone here. It's on the mental level of withdrawal. Physically I'm doing pretty well, the feeling sick is subsiding already. I think it helped that I forced myself to eat something and to drink enough water.
But mentally I'm having this weird experience. I know anxiety can be part of withdrawal, but what I'm feeling is a constant feeling of intense fear. Like being totally terrified. And it's not for anything in particular, I just feel really scared.
Does this sound familiar? And is there anything I can do about it or will I have to wait until my feelings go back to normal?
A challenge has come up and I was wondering if it sounds familiar to anyone here. It's on the mental level of withdrawal. Physically I'm doing pretty well, the feeling sick is subsiding already. I think it helped that I forced myself to eat something and to drink enough water.
But mentally I'm having this weird experience. I know anxiety can be part of withdrawal, but what I'm feeling is a constant feeling of intense fear. Like being totally terrified. And it's not for anything in particular, I just feel really scared.
Does this sound familiar? And is there anything I can do about it or will I have to wait until my feelings go back to normal?
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Yes, I was terrified when I quit. What you are feeling is normal and it really will get better.
All you need to do is get thru today. That is all that is required. Stay strong and focused! You can do this Dorian. One day at a time!
All you need to do is get thru today. That is all that is required. Stay strong and focused! You can do this Dorian. One day at a time!
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