Breaking up with a pothead
 

I got to know this site after reading this article on someone breaking up with a pothead.

I dated one which I really liked - we shared the same faith, would go to church together and also got along with our "business aspirations" in life (we also worked in the same company). However, it was hard to be with someone who was not "there" with me. Eg. when we were in the cinema, or taking a walk around town, he would always be thinking of getting some weed.
Although I do smoke occasionally at parties with other people, I do not acquire the weed myself nor do I do it any more often than once in 3 months.

eventually I told myself that this wasn't the kind of life I wanted and chose to walk away after we had been going out for 1-2 months.

After 6 months, he would reach out to me to ask me to meet him for religious events, or he would come along to the bar that I was hanging with my friends. I knew that even though I still had feelings for him I could not allow myself to be with someone who would only disappoint me.

After about a year since our break-up, I have found out he is dating a new girl now and was rather upset. Then, I got to know that his new girlfriend is an even bigger pothead than him that is what he is infatuated with.

I have no idea what to feel but I guess it is a relief. Not sure if anyone of you have the same stories as me?

Hi snoozebutton
I was the pothead, but I'm sure others have similar stories to yours.

What upset you hearing about this guys new girlfriend exactly?

D

Hey D, I'm not sure why I felt upset exactly- maybe deep down inside I had hoped he would try reaching out to me again. But he chose to be with this new girl who smokes 5 joints a day- he doesn't have to pay for the pot himself and she drives him around. In other words, "a bro in a chick's body".

I had hoped for him to let me help him get out of the addiction and was this upset he thinks she is the right one instead.

So you used to be a pothead?

So you were upset that the guy you walked away from six months ago has finally found a new girlfriend a half-year later, but then you found out his new girlfriend smokes marijuana too, and that made you feel better because you can look down on her for smoking more marijuana than you admittedly do?

Sorry but I find that strange thinking. And it seems like you would have had more of a chance to "help him get out of the addiction" if you had not walked out of his life half a year ago. Why the concern now? Hasn't that ship sailed with you at the helm already?

Sometimes you need to walk away from someone hoping they'd come to their senses. I can't deny I still care for him.

I think it's only natural to feel some sense of regret, "what if"s or even a little jealousy in these situations. At least I get that way. I recently thought I saw my ex holding hands with someone on the street. I was a little embittered, I admit, even though I hadn't really thought about this person in a long time. I had to remind myself that we split for a good reason. They weren't coming back and if they did, our personality differences would've been right back at each others' throats (figuratively, of course.)

So this new person is an even bigger pothead. Seems to me the distance the two of you had due to his marijuana obsession might've been even less than he really wanted. Take it as a sign that the guy values pot more than investing in a relationship. I wouldn't let small feelings of regret or envy lead you into thinking you didn't make the best decision by breaking up.