Mvngon

It's been almost 6 months since I decided that the life I was living could not possibly be any worse than giving up my madness and trying something else. I've been thinking that maybe I should save this post until I actually made the six month mark, but something within me feels the need to do this today.

Anyhow, 6 months ago I was a wreck. I hated myself, hated my life, felt I was a "victim" of circumstances, and was totally emotionally unavailable to everyone around me as I quickly spiraled downward from a ridiculous lush to a completely out of control lush, with no hope at all.

On February 14th, I had the usual look in the AM mirror--no color in my face other than the ugly red blotches here and there, big black bags under my eyes, a face that looked haggard--but even worse, the reflection that I saw was of a person that I truly hated both inside and out, and I told myself so, once again, as I had for years.

I'm not sure what it was about this particular day, but in my complete hungover misery, I decided that this was the day that I was going to start experiencing an honest and genuine life, free of alcohol, no matter what life were to bring me. A little spark of hope for me.

Fast forward to today---I am still a work in progress, but wow, I am a much, much happier person. Today I can smile when I look in the mirror. I am happy with the woman I am, and the positive energy I now have radiates from within. Oh, and those ugly telltale drinking signs on my face are gone, which is an added bonus!

Life goes on, and I have my ups and downs, but I can honestly say that it is so much easier for me to work on myself without alcohol in the mix. I could not grow when I was poisoning myself, my mind was pickled. I now have the freedom to choose the traits that I want to work on, and the energy and clarity to focus on the things that are important to me.

Hope was something I had given up completely, but one day I recognized a tiny spark of it, and grabbed ahold with both hands---it was the best decision I've ever made.

upandup

Thank you so much for sharing today, Mvngon. Maybe it'll help to keep someone sober this weekend

Life goes on, and I have my ups and downs, but I can honestly saythatit is so much easier for me to work on myself without alcohol in the mix. I could not grow when I was poisoning myself, my mind was pickled. I now have the freedom to choose the traits that I want to work on, and the energy and clarity to focus on the things that are important to me.

Yes, this. Congrats on your upcoming six months!

JettBoy

Thank you so much for your inspiring words,I'm like at 23 days,I know that feeling all to well of thinking that no one or nothing can change the path your on,it's that small spark of hope like you said.i hate the cravings of the drugs,I hate the wanting and wishing ,the one thing that stops me is thinking it through, a space between the though and the action.its so much better without any substances ...I never was a drinker,no tolerance for booze,my body does not like it but I know I'd be slap drunk all the time if that were my choice,only because I know how booze,pills anything ,it all does the same. Wrecks your life,takes everything you love,and leaves you a big fat mess. I hope that in six months I'll be on here writing about my six months,I really want it this time and I'm hoping for the promises they say in the program to come true....good luck on your journey,I hope it's a good one ,all the best😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

quitforme79

Love this post, so happy to hear you are doing well & embracing sobriety. This post will help a lot of people, it helped me today. Thank you

huntingtontx

I am 25 days now, and I am loving being sober. Your post is an inspiration. Thank you for sharing. I am proud of you.

Mizzuno

Congrats on your sober time. This post will help many people. There is light at the end of a tunnel, and I appreciate you posting about it.

LadyBlue0527

Mvgnon,

What an inspiring post, thank you so much for that!

Congratulations on the 6 months!

Mvngon

Wow! Thank you guys for the awesome feedback! I'm so touched by your words of support.

Jettboy- Stick with it. I promise you, it is so worth it. 23 days is fantastic!! Congratulations! I love that I am no longer obsessing about it, and I think that you will too. It takes a little time, but the rewards are amazing---everyday I feel better and more grounded. You have my support!

huningtontx- Congrats to you on your 25th day!! SR has been a huge source of support for me, even though I tend to do more reading than writing. I can always find something here that speaks to me, even if it is not directed at me. You have my support!

Thank you guys again for the awesome encouragement. You are all an inspiration to me.

Much love,

MV

Ptcapote

Congrats, Mvgnon! You and I have the same sobriety date and I remember well your posts in the beginning. Knowing that you were there on the journey and your posts kept me strong many times when I was seized by a case of the "ah, screw its."

It has indeed been an amazing transformation and I am so glad of all the good things that have come in your life. I agree with you...it was the best decision I ever made too.

(And the transformation in my looks has also been incredible---nice bonus in addition to all the other positives that not being drunk and absent for my life has brought )

Congrats to my sister in Feb 14, 2013 sobriety and looking forward to continuing to walk this road with you. You are an inspiration!!

(((Huge hug)))

JustSarah

I'm on day 13 and struggling today - your words have given me hope when all I want to do us have a glass of wine... which will turn into 2 bottles and a cr*p night (at least)

Well done on 6 months, I hope to get there 1 day too xxxxx

Nattythreads

Big congrats! I'm round about the same time as you - coming up for seven months clean.

I still have many of the same problems and life is far from a bed of roses. But the one thing I do enjoy is less drama - I don't create it or even entertain it in the same way.

And you really notice how others around you become easily consumed with the most inconsequential nonsense

Mvngon

Hi Ptcapote! Let's hear it for February the 14th!!! Congrat's to you too! Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot to me. (((Huge hug))) back atcha!! I am so very happy for you, and always enjoy your words. I'm so blessed, and grateful, to be on this journey with you.

JustSarah- You can do this!! 13 days is a huge accomplishment. I admire you for working through the very early days, which I remember quite well. Keep thinking it through as you are. One drink ='s two, ='s.... It is too much work. It is so freeing to give that struggle up. You have my support.

Natty- Congrat's on seven months, and thank you! I get what you are saying about the drama, 100%!! I am loving my "no self-induced drama" lifestyle. The drama of others seems to affect me far less now that my mind is not racing with the alcohol fueled anxiety too. Nonsense is much easier to dismiss as simply nonsense.

Much love, and a glimmer of hope!!

MV

tootsl1

Mvngon congratulations on turning your life around. I am a little way behind you on the same road, and like you find life happier and more settled. I am learning to care about me and feel proud of my axhievements. Quite a difference from the AM self loathing!

JustSarah

Thanks MV - I've done the night - onwards to day 14 tomorrow

Congrats again and thanks for the support xxxx

Dee74

great post mvngon - and congrats on your progress

D

Mvngon

Awesome JustSarah! Be proud of your accomplishment, and keep moving on. You made it through today, and you can make it through tomorrow too. You have my best.

Thank you Dee! And thank you for all of the great support you give here on SR. This site has been a Godsend for me.

Great job toots! Keep it going. There's nothing quite like a little self respect in the morning, no? It's priceless in my opinion.

Lyoness

Hey Mvngon, what a wonderful post, thank you. I especially relate about looking in the mirror, that is one thing that pushed me toward recovery too. I had that awful, gaunt, pasty, yellow, dark circles under the eyes junkie look and it became almost impossible to look myself in the mirror.

After starting recovery it was amazing when I realized one day that I had been looking in the mirror for a little while and not flinching. Actually even sometimes liking myself.

So keep up the amazing work!

1stepup

Thanks for such an inspiring post Mvngon, your posts on the feb class thread always are thought provoking and positive, you've done so well and come so far and you truly deserve peace of mind and happiness.

Mvngon

Thank you too 1stepup. You've been there with me from the beginning. Your support has meant the world to me. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know you a bit in our February thread. How have you been lately? You too deserve peace of mind and happiness, and the fulfillment of all of your dreams. I wish you the very best!

Thank you as well, Lyoness. Yes, the mirror can be a powerful tool....it's hard to deny what is looking right at us. I really looked near death in the end...and that probably wasn't far from true. Thank you for your support and encouragement. Best to you today, and always Lyoness.

EternalQ

Thanks for this post.
I so enjoy reading what you write... especially your grat posts which are very insightful and inspiring. Your personal growth posts really speak to me and I feel I have much to learn from you. I also envy your grace.
Thank you.