maybebabey

I went to a friends dinner birthday bash this evening. Everyone is champagne, wine, beer etc. This is my heavy drinking gang and I love them, but damn that was hard to sit and watch them get trashed and they were really questioning me about why I wasn't drinking. All my friends have been great about it so far, but this was the first time I have felt I might stop fitting with some groups. But this is killer as I had so many wild times with these people and I just feel really dull? Like really no more parties? Thing is I thought I would stay out, but as they et drunk and your sober they are not that interesting to stay with. They were laughing and I was yawning!

Damn this is hard....I have been a party animal all my life. Who am I if not that person? And do I want to be someone who gets home at a reasonable hour?

What's weird is I am glad I didn't drink, but hugely sad I am not a drinker anymore - makes little sense I guess....

hypochondriac

I completely get how you feel. But this is the transition stage. Change is hard, and weird. I found that there was a lot of conflict in who I thought I should be. I wanted to be the party girl but I didn't want to be the drunk girl, and I couldn't be one without the other... I made a huge effort in early sobriety to keep going out so no one could have said I was boring, but I found the same as you, I got bored! The thing about sobriety is that social events have to be genuinely interesting to make me wanna stay there. I worried for a bit that I couldn't be around drinkers or that I would never enjoy myself in a 'normal' social situation again, but in time I have found that not to be the case. It just turns out that those genuinely enjoyable social occasions are not frequent and all the time I thought I was having a great time, I was just getting drunk.

Lost3000

Me too. I thought omg how can I ________ without booze? When I drank, towards the end, I remember sitting at a bar with all of my "friends" and realizing, I don't even like these people! Once I quit, I stopped hanging out with all of them. I just didn't see the point. It's like flirting with disaster. I emmersed myself in AA as a way to try to find other sober friends. It worked! I'm not the best with the program, but I try, and now I have a nice circle of friends who don't drink. I laugh just like I did with the drinking friends, and now I do so much more than just sit at a bar. Anyway, it can be done, and you can be happy. Good luck!

Hevyn

Hi maybe. Very good post - glad you came here to discuss this.

It really is like learning to live in a whole different way. I went through a period of feeling like an alien. Literally everything I did or looked forward to involved booze. I like your question - "Who am I if not that person?" I'm still working on my answer. I just know I can't go back to that life ever again.

You made it over that hurdle - and it does get much easier. There are so many 'firsts' that we encounter. It doesn't stay as challenging - you're doing great.

least

Put it another way: do you want to be someone who gets home safely without hurting yourself or anyone else?

visch1

I suggest you do a internet search about long term alcohol abuse and wonder how important your concerns are. BE WELL

Nuudawn

You know...I spent last night sober..with an old friend. Someone I have known for many, many years. My counsellor recently advised me that I might experience some issues with this old friend as he knows the "old me". I have seen him a few times recently and it's starting to dawn on me...that I don't really have anything in common with him...other than history...mostly, drinking history. I am starting to suspect our friendship won't survive my sobriety (and clarity). He actually kind of gets on my nerves (which still could be suspect as my sobriety is early so do I have any nerves?)...but it gives me pause. How much time in my life have I spent with people I don't really know that well..or understand..or perhaps..even like that much?

It's a sad thought.

Silvy69

I did the search
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