Dorris

I'm now at 67 days and like twice before once I've had a few weeks under my belt, I toy with the idea of having a drink but this time I don't want to, I want to keep going and see where life will take me if I remain sober.

Life is so much better sober but I'm struggling to remember how bad things was and my reason for not wanting to drink again.

Today is a trigger our wedding anniversary, a meal out tonight makes me think how enjoyable the evening could be if I could unwind and have a few drinks.

I feel I'm stuck a little

Louise82

Dorris, congrats on 67 days! I've only ever gotten 55 days and I'm back on day 24 now so to me 67 days is really inspirational. So I don't really have any advice on keeping going because I have the same problem with drinking after a few weeks.

But for today I'd suggest just focusing on staying sober today. Take it an hour or a minute at a time if you have to. Think how much better your wedding anniversary will be if you don't drink but instead you're present for it and can remember what happened afterwards. And no hangover tomorrow!

FeelingGreat

Hi Dorris, I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on. You'll be fine tonight because you will be mentally prepared. Get a soft drink in your hand as soon as you get there, and some food in your stomach. Think about how you choose to feel in the morning. Proud of yourself? Ashamed of giving in for a momentary impulse?
Enjoy your dinner!

Happyfeet

Dorris, I am just a few days behind you and I feel the same way. I thought I was a goner last Friday. I white knuckled it for a while going back and forth in my mind. It's amazing the further I get from my last drunk that it doesn't seem like it was all that bad.

It was bad and I need to keep that in the front of my mind. I ended going to a meeting and heard what I needed. I don't want to leave before the miracle happens so I will keep coming back.

Happy anniversary!

Mountainmanbob

hi Dorris
congratulations on the 67 days sober
I still after 5 years sober
can remember when I honestly couldn't get 67 minutes under my belt
maybe you never got to that point in time
most (if) alcoholic as myself and keep on drinking
will get there if they don't die first

we just don't drink today
if
that is the true desire of the heart and mind

Mountainman

doggonecarl

The only thing you need to remember is the promise you made to yourself to quit drinking. If you truly meant that you were done drinking, forever, then it doesn't matter what you forgot about your drinking days. All you need to cling to is the decision you made to quit. Anything else that pops into your head to deflect you from that is the insanity of alcoholism.

Stay strong. Sixty-seven days is awesome.

dwtbd

Happy Anniversary!
Hope you have a happy day after anniversary! I know you can!

Isaiah

Hi Dorris,

Congrats on your sober time! Sounds like you've been on a roll already.

Situations like this, I try to just stay focused on the present moment. Sometimes daydreaming is an okay thing, but often thoughts like, "This would be better if only..." take away from the more rational, "Things are really great as they are."

Anniversary dinner... assuming you're not going to McDonald's, so there's something to look forward to. Going with someone I presume you love, and a time to think about the good in your relationship, memories, whatever you do for anniversaries. I think if you keep mentally focused on enjoying those things, the temptation to want to drink will diminish.

You deserve to have a good time without alcohol, and I'm sure you will.

mecanix

Dorris ,
Things i don't do, now i don't drink :-

Passing out drunk on the sofa ,
sending drunken e-mails or texts,
Sweating all the time,
Shakey hands,
Wondering if i'm over the drink drive limit the morning after,
falling over drunk,
dropping glasses of booze on the floor or furniture being too drunk to tidy up,
leaving things in the oven burning passed out,
leaving things under the grill passing out,
Wetting myself ,
drunkenly phoning people at odd hours,
Leaving candles burning,
wandering round late at night drunk trying to buy more drink ,
Hangovers ,
Throwing up,
Purple tounge from wine,
Tender in my liver area,
Living from pay day to pay day,
giving people i don't know gifts i can't afford .
Making bad choices for personal relationships .
Heavy chest the morning after drinking,

Those are just a few i could think of in a few mins , i'm sure there are more , i can repeat them like a mantra as it hepls strengthen my comitment to sobriety .

Maybe you could do something similar ?

Bestwishes, m

CAPTAINZING2000

I found other things to help me unwind. We delude ourselves into thinking alcohol is a magic cure all for what ever ails us. Turned out all alcohol did was add to our problems. While a drink or two to a normal person can and does help mellow, to an alcoholic it usually always, ends in a bad way.

Alcohol was the anchor that prevented me from soaring in the end of my drinking. I'd have grand plans while drinking that never occurred. These days, my plans are obtainable. I've taken the money I used to spend on drinking and go on holidays. Paid off my debts, and decreased most all of my unecessary worries.

Jeni26

Hi Dorris, you're doing great, keep going.

I've had a few wobbles along the way, and I notice our sobriety dates are the same but a year apart, we can have a joint celebration every year!xx

When I'm having my wobbles, which I have to say don't happen very often now, I think back to that night in May last year when I had my last drink. When I say drink, I mean that in the plural!

I never want to experience the agony of that anxiety, guilt and shame again. I very nearly lost everything that I love that night. That relapse will stay in my mind forever. However my addiction tries to re-write the script, tell me I need to drink, or that I can have just one, or that I'm not really as bad as I thought, I replay the events of that night. No arguing with the facts. I am much better off sober. And so are you xxx

huntingtontx

Hi Doris, congrats on 67 days. I am so proud of you. I look up to people that are making it. I am on day 22 the longest I have been sober in 8 years. I know you can do this. My hubby's birthday was the 28th and I felt so good to not take a drink to celebrate. I know it would not have been one drink, I would have been drunk by the time I went to bed. I know you can do this. You are in my prayers. Way to go. 67 days.

Eleni58

If going out to eat to a restaurant may present a relapse "trigger", maybe you are not ready to go out in an environment where alcohol is served. Maybe you could celebrate your anniversary with a quiet, candlelit dinner at home and then by next year, you will be ready to celebrate your anniversary outside of the house in a social setting where you are surrounded by alcohol and be able to say "it doesn't bother me one bit."

Itchy

Dorris, congrats on your sobriety and your marriage milestone!

You are stuck like many of us were. And will be until you realize that going out for a meal itself is unwinding.

For me, unwinding always involved ski vacations, dive trips, hunting, exercise, playing guitar, dancing when I was young. Then I added alcohol to them and soon overdid it. Then tried to keep the excitement of youth started using those activities as an excuse to drink.

Doris,
I hope you redefine unwind for tonight as being able to relax, pamper yourselves with food others prepare and serve you, and talk about your life together, and appreciate each other. Unwind, relax, serenity, at ease, all take some effort to get to. Nowhere do I find relaxing defined as drunk.

Don't let alcohol, or in this case, the lack of it, spoil one more day of your marriage, work, and life achievements and milestones.

You are craving, and not craving unwinding. Enjoy the experience without dulling it.

pinkdog

Well said mechanix. I can add: waking up surrounded by junkfood wrappers and half-eaten food, having to take 2 tylenol and immodium just to get moving, having to take a long hot shower to de-fog my sinuses and as soon as I feel somewhat better, going out and buying some more and doing it all over again. The important thing is to remember when you start to feel better. This site is great for that. We've been there. Sobriety is better.

Dee74

whenever I would forget how bad it was I read back through my posts, or other peoples, Dorris.

total lie.

Remember the times you drank and the evening turned out anything but enjoyable, for you and everybody else?

D

EndGameNYC

Sixty-seven days is great.

One day becomes two, two become a week, a week becomes a month, and suddenly you're at day 67. You keep going the same way you've kept going up until today. The alternative is to further ruin your life and everything and everyone else dear to you.

I promise you -- and anyone else reading this -- that life gets so much better. But even knowing this often doesn't help. It took a leap of faith for me to believe there was a better way for me. It's totally awesome when it starts coming together, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.