Happier

I heard it once said that life can sometimes feel like a filter full of coffee grounds. All the old, dark, smelly stuff of our past. It seems like no matter how much clean water you pour over them, it still comes out black and smelly. But you know what? Each time it gets a little weaker and a little lighter.
How do we cope with our past? I guess you just have to keep pouring pure, clean water over everything. Eventually it does actually come out clean and what used to be our nasty coffee grounds now acts like a purifying filter.

Maybe a silly analogy but it reminds me that while progress may be slow and extremely hard to see, things do get better as long as we keep making good decisions and doing what we know to be right.

needabetterlife

Hi Mits, I have only been a member of SR since Sunday but the positive feedback I have gotten since my first post has been amazing and very comforting. From what I can see we all just want to live a happy life...the past is gone and all we can look forward to is a better tomorrow. Good luck to you and remember one day at a time (I need to remember this too)

natbites

I think that forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. I guess we all suffer from guilt trips about the things we did doing or after a drunk. The problem is though, we didn't see how we were at the time. We can only see it now that reality has hit hard.
I am 2 weeks sober now. Taking each day as it comes, which is all we can do.
Having said all that, I understand completely where you are coming from. I am having issues with my son at the moment, because of my drinking. He doesn't trust me and it's going to take a long time to heal our relationship.
I too remember rushing home, looking forward to that "me" time with my bottle and that is ever so hard to compensate because it's even more than just a habit but a disease. I find that when I start thinking negatively about all the bad things I've done, I try to also focus about the good things. I believe that nobody anywhere has only bad experiences or feelings in them. I also try to break the circle by not sitting on the balcony which is where I used to drink. Instead I steer myself away from that old place and try to find a new one. I walk around the house and try to find positive things to do to take up my time and try to forget where or what I used to be doing at that particular part of the day. It's still hard but it does help. Hang in there, I am by no means long time sober but I believe we can do it. We just have to kick temptation in the a@@ and just not have that first drink! Keep up the good work and try to think of the positive thing you are doing right now - which is a big step and the bravest. Pat yourself on the back.

wiscsober

If you need to do some damage control then I would suggest talking to people about these things....I would only talk to professionals for now, cleric, therapist,etc

Not drinking can smooth some things over and give us breathing room...

I strongly ADVISE that you do not share specific personal issues in meetings...besides admitting it you probably won't get the counsel you need.

Following the steps is the best route.

One on One is best....this is coming from a lot of experience from both sides.

time for us to do the 4th/5th.

Anna

That was exactly what I found and I was also in my mid-forties. I had to come to terms with the fact that I hadn't known how to get help for myself when I was younger. That was hard, because I thought I was an 'aware' person. But, I wasn't. I blamed myself for many failures in my life that were a direct result of anxiety attacks. An example is university exams. I would have a panic attack as the exams were being passed out and make a mess of the exam, believing that everyone else was smarter than me. That wasn't true, but I believed it for a long time. There was a lot of stuff to deal with.

I hope that you talk to your dr about your depression and anxiety. Sometimes medication can help. It's worked well for me. And, maybe therapy is a possibility for you.