iam starting to lose faith
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 6
iam starting to lose faith
hi every1 iam 23 years old first time on this site I am on edge the breaking point any 1 felt this way i have hit allot of rock bottom its starting to scare me thought of losing everything makes it worst i then start to compare my problems to another alcoholic but Its this horrible feeling i feel i can’t explain its feeling mixed emotions of guilt resentment isolated fear failure everything its driving me mad I am going to a aa meeting next week i have been told u have to want it, its been three days no drink last time i drank i nearly went hospital as drank to that passing out limit this alcohol is a killer illness yet knowing this and still doing it my life is a mess my occupation is drink that’s what happen i have lost my job recently and i guess that makes it worst i have nothing to look forward to just wish i can rewind time i feel like im going mad so i take days of drinking so called bf i have known for 6years been there 4 him now he don’t care i knw its about me getting better i feel pain n hurt emotionally...i can’t believe I’m posting this i hope sum1 can relate to this...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
Good Morning, Maria, and welcome! Congratulations on reaching out, and acknowledging that you might need help. There is much support here- stay tuned, and take away what you will. You are so very young, with so much life ahead to right your wrongs. You can't rewind, but you can certainly get the tools to have the future you want. Every new day gives you a chance to make good choices, and every day you choose future instead of booze, well that's a victory in my books. Look at you- already 3 days victorious!! Fight the good fight, Maria. You are worth it!! :-) :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
I can relate to your pain of wanting to stop drinking but feeling overwhelmed by the obsession & raw emotions. AA has helped me to stay sober for more than 8 months now. My life is not always easy but when I'm sober I am able to better handle my emotions & situations. Just try to focus on staying sober. Without that nothing else will work out anyway. Hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Maria22: There is a way out of this. Others have found it. Start out by going to AA as soon as possible. Listen to them, talk to them. AA is not the only answer. But it's a start for you. You can be happy.
W.
W.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
hi Maria, many many people on this site have been where you are now and have recovered. There is always hope, and even better that, you're only 23. You have so much of your life ahead of you, and if you stop drinking, it's full of hope. There are lots of places you can go for support like AA, your doctor, online sites like SR.
I stopped drinking after many years, and when I look back I feel so happy I made the effort to stop. Stick around, we will help and encourage you,
I stopped drinking after many years, and when I look back I feel so happy I made the effort to stop. Stick around, we will help and encourage you,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Originally Posted by maria22 
thanks 4 support i will b going to the aa meeting i know thats the only way
That is great. You will find a lot of supportive and caring people who also have gone through what you are now, and are living contented, healthy, and sober lives.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hi Maria,
I remember being hit with some really overwhelming emotions at first. Really overwhelming. Like checking myself into psych wards because I didn't think I could count on myself not to just commit suicide. I had also lost a job, so I hadn't much to draw me away from the swirl of every bad emotion there was--guilt, fear, anger, self-despising, etc.
Eventually, I just started doing at least the minimum of those things that I needed to do. I went to AA, and eventually came to look forward to meetings. People who'd been through jail sentences, painful divorces and other traumatic events were there, smiling no less, talking about how any alcoholic can make it through these things if they stay sober. I started getting months clean, would go back out again, which kept making things clear that I felt better when I was sober. Emotionally too.
Skip ahead. It took nearly two years of fighting both alcoholism and mental health issues, but I've been winning the fight. I'm in a fairly good place. It's not something I planned for in my early sobriety. In fact, I did not believe anything was going to turn around for me when I first got sober. I wasn't hopeful for anything but to wake up and get through the day with minimal pain.
So glad you're coming here and doing AA. I know how strong emotions can cloud over everything. But I've been doing recovery for long enough to tell that I'm looking at someone who's "getting better." I hope you realize that you're only the right track for things to get better than you can yet imagine; if you're not there yet, at least know I and the rest of us here believe it.
I remember being hit with some really overwhelming emotions at first. Really overwhelming. Like checking myself into psych wards because I didn't think I could count on myself not to just commit suicide. I had also lost a job, so I hadn't much to draw me away from the swirl of every bad emotion there was--guilt, fear, anger, self-despising, etc.
Eventually, I just started doing at least the minimum of those things that I needed to do. I went to AA, and eventually came to look forward to meetings. People who'd been through jail sentences, painful divorces and other traumatic events were there, smiling no less, talking about how any alcoholic can make it through these things if they stay sober. I started getting months clean, would go back out again, which kept making things clear that I felt better when I was sober. Emotionally too.
Skip ahead. It took nearly two years of fighting both alcoholism and mental health issues, but I've been winning the fight. I'm in a fairly good place. It's not something I planned for in my early sobriety. In fact, I did not believe anything was going to turn around for me when I first got sober. I wasn't hopeful for anything but to wake up and get through the day with minimal pain.
So glad you're coming here and doing AA. I know how strong emotions can cloud over everything. But I've been doing recovery for long enough to tell that I'm looking at someone who's "getting better." I hope you realize that you're only the right track for things to get better than you can yet imagine; if you're not there yet, at least know I and the rest of us here believe it.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Just take it one day at a time. You hear that in any recovery program and on SR. It gets said to the point of being almost cliche, but that's because it really does work. Just focus on whatever big or small things you're able to get done over the course of a day that'll put you ahead. My experience has been that eventually you wake up one day, take a look back and will be startled at how much distance you've actually covered.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by maria22
thanks for taken your time to reply..making me realise im nt the only one feeling this its very hard for me when u start to realise whats next i hope things do get betr
W.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Maria: The important thing to remember is that there is part of your brain that wants you to take a drink. This is because your body's gotten so used to it. Don't listen to this part of your brain. Don't listen when it tries to get you to have "just one". Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if you have to, but don't drink. Gradually those messages from the drinking part of your brain will get weaker and weaker and you'll get stronger and stronger, feeling better and better. But once you're feeling better don't believe any message which says that it's all O.K. That you can resume your old ways because you can "control it". You can't "control it". It will control you. The only way you can get out of this is not to drink at all. Just realize that there is part of your brain that is definitely not your friend.
W.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 6
your right i use to think i can control myself but i cant i have made mistakes over and over again with my drinking its a danger illness why dose it take me weeks to recover from the last drink my head keeps hurting...ps i have no support from any1 people don't understand...day3 hope it gets better
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Originally Posted by maria22
thanks for taken your time to reply..making me realise im nt the only one feeling this its very hard for me when u start to realise whats next i hope things do get betr
I will personally promise you that.
Be kind to yourself.
You are worthy of recovery,
and you deserve to be healthy.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Hi Maria - welcome!
after 20 years, drinking was all I knew...it was terrifying to think of life without it, but I knew I had to do it...it was destroying me.
Try and break it down - all you need to do each day is not drink...all the other stuff, the fixing and changing can come later when you fdeel better equipped to handle it, but you need to stay sober first
There's a ton of support here and in other placs like AA - you're not alone - you can do this
D
after 20 years, drinking was all I knew...it was terrifying to think of life without it, but I knew I had to do it...it was destroying me.
Try and break it down - all you need to do each day is not drink...all the other stuff, the fixing and changing can come later when you fdeel better equipped to handle it, but you need to stay sober first
There's a ton of support here and in other placs like AA - you're not alone - you can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Yes, Dee says it all. The only thing you have to do right now is not drink. And focus on that one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. The best way to do this is to go to meetings, avoid any places where alcohol is served or people who are drinking it, make sure you drink lots of liquids (like orange juice) and start eating a normal diet. You'll start to feel better physically and emotionally.
You can do this. And hope that you never have to do it again. After some time goes by you won't miss alcohol one bit.
W.
You can do this. And hope that you never have to do it again. After some time goes by you won't miss alcohol one bit.
W.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
