MTD

I have made the decision to quit for good! My husband and I have been drinking for the past three years, that's how long we have been together. He is currently in rehab. We quit drinking a few days before he left he is still sober. I went a week and was back at it. I have attended a few family groups and it has really opened my eyes. I have been reading a lot on the disease and I know that it has to end. While reading tonight a weird thing happened. I was physically scared of alcohol! My heart has pounding and the thought of that bottle of wine was overwhelming! I am having many emotions and feelings like I never have about alcoholism. I have always hated alcohol. I watched my mom die a slow painful death from it. You would think that alone would be enough for me to not drink but it snuck up on me. I will attending AA ASAP! I hope to find peace in my life once more.

cleaninLI

Thats great MTD that you are ready to give up alcohol. I understand how you feel about watching your Mom die slowly a very painful death and continuing to drink in spite of knowing that it could altimately lead to your death as well. I watched my Mom die of cancer and I still smoke. That's so crazy right? Perhaps we can both beat these addictions before we travel down that same path. This is our wake-up call, right?

mecanix

Welcome MTD ,

Bestwishes, m

hypochondriac

I was scared of alcohol for a long time before I finally quit. It's a weird one, but that's addiction for ya. Having the right support has been absolutely vital for me. Glad you're here

heath480

Welcome MTD to SR.

I too watched my Mother die from Alcoholism,didn't stop me following in her footsteps.The only difference was that I had a desire to stop drinking unlike her.

I wish you well.

visch1

Hi. It's said in AA that an alcoholic is difficult to scare regarding their drinking and I agree. It starts with getting honest with our SELVES and the desire to stop from within. My bottom came when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I gave it my all and AA helped me to the point of being comfortable in my own skin most of the time. Well worth the work involved. BE WELL

Dee74

welcome aboard MTD - I'm really glad you found us

D

MTD

This is my reminder why I will not drink...

My journey...

Oh my dear God...

How did i get here. I am an alcoholic!! I hated my mother for so many years because she would not quit!
Here I am my mother. If I had one wish i would wish that i could have had a normal childhood. The pain was just to much. Tried to kill myself at sixteen. Scream for help. My brother found me in the bathroom drunk and bleeding from my wrists.
Not sure what normal is. Why does this hurt so much.

Drink to feel good, drink to feel confident, drink because i just dont care, drink because celebrating, drink because I am depressed, drink to forget, drink to remember, drink to numb

How does this happen you loose control!

Blackouts that I tried to hide by pretending I remember

The downward spiral

The hangovers, the self hate, the deep bruises from a fall or no nutrition

I will not die a drunk! I am stronger than this poison..

MD

least

to SR! I'm glad you joined us.