lessgravity

Provocative title - I know! (And OF COURSE I know the answer).

But it relates to this passage from a book I'm reading that I love. It has to do with our reasoning for drinking - that it gives us pleasure (soothes us, makes us happier, calms our nerves etc) and that in fact it doesn't - it just sends us into a stupefied oblivion. Food for thought:

"If you were at a children’s birthday party do you honestly think that they would be happier if they had some alcohol inside them? If you saw a child crying would you give them a drink to cheer them up? If you saw a child laughing would you give them a drink so that they could get even happier? Do you think that by giving a hyperactive child alcohol they would become relaxed? Of course you wouldn’t because you would know for certain that alcohol would not relax them or make them happy; it would simply stupefy them. Would they enjoy that stupefied state? How could they? It would no longer be them. They would not be feeling any genuine feelings any more as alcohol numbs all the senses. The magnificent machine that is the human body would now be malfunctioning. When alcohol hits the brain it deprives us of our natural senses, leaving us unprotected and vulnerable. If you gave a child alcohol on their birthday, not only would they not get any genuine enjoyment but they would also miss that birthday. The alcohol would deprive them of that experience forever."

miko67

So true man. It's crazy how we have been programmed.
Peace!!!

Nuudawn

Great post LG...but when I saw your title I wondered if it had to do with the "celebratory participation" drinks some children get. I mean I know I got a wee bit of "sparkling wine" with the others at Christmas dinner or on New Year's Eve. I now realize the message that sends...this is what adults do to celebrate. Bad message.

I LOVE your post despite the fact that I digressed from it : )

Deckard

That's a very helpful and thought-provoking post, less. I'd be curious to know what book that is from. Sounds like something worth picking up....

lessgravity

If anyone is interested in this book you can PM me as I believe it's discouraged to advertise books etc in this forum.

But yes I got chills reading that passage.

Nattythreads

When I was a baby it was common practice for the folks where I come from to put a wee drop of brandy in the milk bottle.

That turned out well for me didn't it?

MeSoSober

For obvious reasons, denial is a common theme around here. Denial that we have a problem, denial that we need help to fix it, denial this, denial that.

For me to pretend that alcohol didn't give me pleasure would be just trading one form of denial for another. It was INTENSELY pleasurable for me, otherwise I wouldn't have continued to abuse it to the extent and for the many years that I did. I didn't drink to get numb or stupefied (although I frequently achieved the stupefaction). I drank to feel good. And it did feel good.

The thing is that along with the pleasure, alcohol gave me equal parts misery. The pleasure was all mine, but the misery and pain? That got spread around to the people I love as well. I think the tipping point for most of us is when the misery and the loss finally -- FINALLY -- exceed the pleasure.

lessgravity

I don't mean to deny that there is a pleasure in the physical feeling that came from alcohol - at least not after we learned to swallow what originally tasted like rotten fruit juice and what originally just gave us the spins and a headache - I certainly fervently sought the warm lull at the bottom of the bottle with utter dedication in my late drinking days.

I think more what this passage makes me think of are the reasons we justify drinking, justify it on any level, and how the vast, vast majority of society justifies what is, in actuality, the most damaging drug in the Western world. And how the truth is that the pleasure and then the need for and the fear of ever losing the drug isn't innate - it's not necessary for increasing happiness, or overcoming pain etc. It's a drug that feeds itself and itself only. And yet its justification is so deeply ingrained that if we quit it people think we have the problem.

There is even greater physical pleasure to be found in something like heroin. But no one suggests the need for it at the next office party.

And true "pleasure" is not what it really gives most of us at the end of our drinking careers. I see a group of drunk teens on the beach - certainly the lowering of inhibitions and the false confidence adds pleasure to their day. But I can't say that the majority of my drunks these past years have been incredibly pleasurable or comparable to a buzzed bonfire party when I was 17. I see people "pleased" by booze - and they just have a couple drinks and leave half of their third drink unfinished. I see people like me NOT finding pleasure in the booze - needing a 10th glass of wine just before I crawl one-eyed into bed.

Isaiah

Great post, great analogy.

I think it's helpful to look at alcoholism in hypothetical "if this were anything else, in any other situation" scenarios sometimes. There are a lot of little absurdities that come off as seemingly normal sometimes.