New to recovery, where to start?
 

I have been sober 19 days. I quit after realizing I had lost multiple relationships to alcohol and if I didn't stop I was going to lose my health and my career too. I can't say I've craved alcohol since quitting which has been a relief but realize there may come a day when I really want to drink and I know I am going to need support and a plan of action to avoid giving in.

My question is where should I go from here? I have never been to an AA meeting before? Do others recommend that? I have made an appointment with a psychologist that specializes in alcohol and substance abuse. I think that will be helpful. Most of my friends still drink, a few abuse alcohol but most just drink moderately socially. What do I tell them when they ask why I am not drinking at get-together s? How do I tell my alcohol abusing friends I don't want to go to bars with them or hang out with them when alcohol is the entire focus of the evening?

When I first quit I couldn't sleep well but now that is improving. One thing that is bothering me is I am overeating and feel constantly hungry. I know I lost weight while I was drinking but feel I have regained the 5 pounds I lost and am now putting on additional weight. This is very frustrating for me. I struggled with bulimia when I was younger and am afraid all of this overeating may trigger an eating disorder relapse. I quit smoking at the same time I quit drinking so maybe that is contributing to the weight gain? When will my appetite subside? I miss never feeling hungry although at this point I really don't miss much else.

Any recommendations on books, groups, coping strategies for a newly sober girl would be much appreciated. Thanks :)

Welcome to SR Janesayz,

I don't have much to say about recovery methods or groups not having used any, other than some support from SR here .

A psycologist sounds like a good thing to do as i certainly have cross-over behaviours , binge eating , binge drinking and so on ..

Bestwishes, m

Welcome Jane. At the very top of the newcomers list is a thread about books on recovery and spirituality. You might find one you like there.

Regarding friends, I would just tell them that drinking is not agreeing with you. If they press for more specifics I would be inclined to be honest and tell them the truth. If nobody understands (or even if they do) go to an AA meeting :). At least see what meetings are like by going to a few.

It’s my understanding that when a person quits smoking their metabolism changes. Your system is going through some major changes. so give it time to adjust. All the best to you.

Welcome jane... Just keep posting and reading here that's what has helped me. I use the gym a lot which also helps... Just dont pick up....Steve.

like stevie, jane I go to the gym to keep busy and sober. AA is good for me I went to a lots of meeting now I go to 2 or 3 a week.
about friends some will and support and some will walk away is part of sobriety...
best of luck
one day at the time.

Glad you found the place. Welcome.

Hey another "Jane"! Cool!

I'm glad you made the decision to start the journey of recovery. I can't necessarily tell you what will work for you but I know what works for me so perhaps some of it can help you too. I go to AA because I like the sense of community and real support I get there. I have a sponsor. I work the steps. I used to do a lot of meetings but as I get further into recovery I settled on one or two per week and that works great for me although in the beginning I needed almost everyday scheduled to avoid temptation. Plus, going to AA taught me so much about service (volunteer work) which saves my self-obsessed butt often since it gets me OUT of my crazy head. Also, I've made great friends there. It's not a perfect program but people always say "take what you need from it and leave the rest" so I listen to that advice. Some meetings are better than others too so you may want to look around a bit.

I think it's great you're seeing a specialist / therapist. I do this also. I love the guy I found - he's the best counselor I've ever worked with and we have a great trusting bond. He helps me with my drinking and drug cravings but also with depression, anxiety, insomnia, relationships, self esteem and all kinds of other life issues. He is into holistic healing and his teachings motivated me to take classes on Buddhism and meditation (which are amazing and I love even though I'm a bit "ADD" at this phase of my recovery) and I seem to be finding a spiritual side. Spirituality is very important to some people in recovery. If you have an idea of a higher power that may help. I know people who do it without that part too though. No saying you must believe in anything specific to get sober; if you believe in yourself and your ability to conquer this terrible affliction you can do it! You beat an eating disorder (me too, haha, we should be buddies I guess!) so that proves its possible right? You are stronger than you know. Don't forget to tell yourself this!

Last thing, the main advice is : just don't drink one day at a time. If the day thing is too much break it down to hours and just say you'll go the next minute / hour / day until you give up. Wait out those cravings anyway you can. Usually they pass. Some days are hard but each hard day you make it thorough will build you up even more. I wish you the best of luck! Sorry my reply got a bit longer than I intended but I sincerely hope it helps.

Hugs and welcome!

Hi and welcome. Two books you might like are "Drinking: A love Story" and "Unwasted". Both are from a female's perspective. "Drinking" has great insights into the alcoholic mind while "Unwasted" chronicles a women's journey through the first year of sobriety. Good luck!

Welcome janesayz (love janes addiction BTW)
Tell your friends whatever makes you more comfortable outing yourself is not a requirement! You can say you are working on a new physical regimen. As far as the weight issue I hear you. Although I've never been bulimic I have always walked the line with controlled eating. I use to love the side effect of drinking and the lack of appetite. In the first month of sobriety I too was shocked about my sudden awakening of hunger. I think my body was like WTF.
Actually focusing on eating really well and keeping track of nutrients that are depleted from alcohol abuse kept me from gaining weight as well as loosing.
I do recommend something sweet and sinful during an alcohol craving though. A few scoops of ice cream or a piece of cake. that has far fewer calories then a bottle of wine:) Be well

Welcome Jane. You will find varied answers here for sure. Try to remember that getting sober and staying sober are 2 different things in my view. Staying sober for me is being comfortable in my skin and requires work, for some easier than others. My training ground is AA which has helped millions world wide. I appreciate face to face meetings where we understand each other and have phone lists of the members which people use for help. These forums are a help with lots of good people offering good advice. I would caution that this is the internet and there is miss information on the internet. I hope you continue on your sober path. BE WELL