wpainterw

In another posting I compared the tendency of alcoholism to erode the personality, perhaps the soul, of the sufferer to the tendrils of the Banyan or Strangler Fig tree, as it gradually enveloped the massive temples of Angkor Wat in Cambodia, powerful enough, over time, to split and crumble massive facades of rock.
My impression is that alcoholism feeds on lies, as rain may nourish the Strangler Fig. Lies to the world and, above all, to one’s self. Taking care not to be seen too much in the same bar, going to several, watering holes (like the “doctor shopping” of prescription drug addicts), taking one or two stiff drinks before attending a reception to achieve a “high” without public heavy drinking, hiding bottles around the house, disposing of bottles in numerous public trash containers so they won’t be found in the household trash, munching strong mints to disguise alcoholic breath. The list goes on and on. Lying certainly is a “character defect”, necessary for an alcoholic lifestyle, but is a result of alcoholism, not its cause.
As lying is alcoholism’s result, I found that a good way to begin recovery was to stop lying, either to others or to myself. Some programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, provide ways to do this. I also found group therapy with other persons in recovery to be helpful. Alcoholics are expert liers. Anyone who tries to lie to a group of recovering alcoholics tends to be speedily detected, hopefully with gentle understanding smiles of comprehension (“Been there! Done that!”). Lies are the chains that bind us and the truth can set you free.

W.

cleaninLI

So true painter!

Woohoo

This is so true and really hits home. I was in tears reading your description and sadly it is so accurate! Lying to oneself is the worst..denial and not loving ourselves enough to be happy ..strong and sober. I want to change that forever in myself one day at a time. Thanks for this great post..God bless!

silentrun

You have some amazing timing painter.