I have been thinking a lot lately about how I mixed up alcohol and drugs with a lot of impulses that are unrelated. Like wanting spontaneity and adventure in my life. I've been thinking a lot about how to keep those good things while giving up the bad. It's hard, I don't have conclusions yet. I know they can be separated though.

I was just sobbing to my therapist the other week, "Now I think about stuff like, 'am I too old to live in an apartment with white walls?' SINCE WHEN do I care about stupid **** like that?!? I don't want to be some calm zenned out yogi who never gets ruffled and cares about paint and sofa sets!"

And she said, "Fantail, I don't think you're a zenned out yogi."

Ha :) Touché

I'm looking forwards to getting older as i think you can be more and more yourself without worrying or bothering what other people think or say .

I must admit i don't care much for other peoples unsolicited opinion now ( he says looking over at the roger the space alien t-shirt, bright blue trackies and broad brimed biege floppy sun hat i was wearing yesterday ) ha ha ha :)

m

I can so relate to this although currently I blame any feelings of boredom I experience to my own unwillingness to go out and DO any number of the amazingly fun, thrilling and exciting things I like to do. For example, while sober I have taken up scuba diving, gotten more into surfing, painting, kite boarding, running marathons (well, ok training for that one), volunteering in prisons and hospitals (never a dull moment), writing classes, Spanish lessons, Buddhism and playing guitar. I also want to get back into aviation as it was my career and I love to fly but right now, at 36 weeks pregnant, a lot of these are just not feasible. I guess my point is : we don't have to be boring of we choose to fill our time with whatever it is that interests us. It's finding those passions and being able to fully embrace them that remind me why I'm sober. I couldn't do a damn thing on Heroin besides cop and use and try not to get arrested or get sick. Really got old. Parties were getting old too. Same people, same stupid drama and antics. Same scene. Boo. I like to meet dynamic people and they are not smoking heroin or getting blacked out at parties! Haha.

Anyway good post though. It made me laugh. All the things I've said and I still admit that I forget what I just wrote on occasion because my addiction tells me it was "fun" and that scares me.... I will have to print the post out and save it!!!

Now that is exciting! And definitely a person I would like to be around. Even for now the nice young woman having a baby! What a world you get to show your baby!! Good for you BabyJane!!

I love the onion. Though I'd disagree with the premise of the article. I know many former addicts who have taken up quite interesting hobbies. Much more interesting than sitting on the couch with a drink in hand. This satire lends itself to the various stereotypes society has against addicts and recovering addicts.

I got quite a chuckle out of that "story". I think it's important to be able to laugh at ourselves. That said, my sober life is far from boring.

I believe the article exemplifies how society views sobriety. Sure it's meant to be satirical, and we all intellectually understand that one can be sober and have a rich and interesting life, but it can be difficult to "feel" that sobriety doesn't equate to "boring" or "no fun". Or at least, that's what I'm struggling with right now. Mainly because my memory is selective and I primarily remember when I was a social drinker, and I tend to forget the times I was an idiotic, out-of-control binge drinker.

I should probably write down all the idiotic and dangerous things I did when drinking and review it each day.

Yes. And don't forget to make sure that the equipment is inadequate and faulty. Or better still, check into your state supermax prison facility during exercise time and make fun of their hairdo and tattoos. As the Chinese say, "May you live in 'interesting' times!":a108:

W.

This! It makes it so difficult to quit if you think you're now boring and missing out on fun stuff because you quit. It's probably one of the big reasons some people relapse (there are others, I know) As for the selective memory...is there anyone here that hasn't had it? If I'd remembered more of the puking, anxiety, painful bruises, stupid things said and done, the shame, etc., would I have continued to drink? I think not.

June

I wasn't drinking entirely out of boredom - some of that but mostly to mask emotional pain. I'm sure I wasn't very interesting to other people while drunk. Drunk people are rather annoying actually!

Being boring is FANTASTIC. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I wrote some things about this early in my sobriety.

"I have found half of what it takes to get a lot out of life is just that, getting out!"

"Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it."

"Stay strong it gets much better as you go. The only way I have found in life not to be vulnerable is to hide in a bottle. Being vulnerable gets easier. And then becomes being open. There is a difference."

"I haven't lost drinking, I have gained sobriety."