I want to die.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: England
Posts: 146
Yeah you'd better not, you're one of my my favourites on the June board (not that I have favourites of course!)
Very interested to hear any responses about hypnotherapy, I'd like to do that to conquer my shyness which is ultimately why I believe I'm now an alcoholic.
Take care mtn x
Very interested to hear any responses about hypnotherapy, I'd like to do that to conquer my shyness which is ultimately why I believe I'm now an alcoholic.
Take care mtn x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast 
you're really tired too don't forget as you've been up since really early this morning and yesterday too. Being tired can make me feel so low - don't rule out the fact that you're so tired and maybe this is affecting your thinking?
Your kids need you so much. They need you more than they need anyone and they love you.
Plus maybe you're feeling more down because you drank last week maybe. I know I always felt low a few days after I quit following a relapse.
Things reallywill get better for you. Can you maybe have a bath, a warm drink and get to bed.xxx
Your kids need you so much. They need you more than they need anyone and they love you.
Plus maybe you're feeling more down because you drank last week maybe. I know I always felt low a few days after I quit following a relapse.
Things reallywill get better for you. Can you maybe have a bath, a warm drink and get to bed.xxx
I know darling and I also forgot to take my anti-D's, you're right, I'm absolutely shattered and not thinking straight, haven't really slept for 24 hours.
Missing G so much, so tired and emotional, he's having a great time. Tiredness plus forgetting to take medication plus happy son thousands of miles away....
Nah thats not it at all still boils down to my mum!
I'll see my son home happy off that plane in 9 days
I just feel like an awful mother and a useless person.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: England
Posts: 146
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
you;re not an awful mother or a useless person.You're a good loving mother and a great person
Get some sleep-things will look better in the morning.xx
Get some sleep-things will look better in the morning.xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Thanks lovely
I've asked Anna to change the title. I'm not an attention seeker and didn't want that I just wanted to let everything all out and the title does reflect how I feel, but it's not immediate.
I am SO tired! Xxx
I've asked Anna to change the title. I'm not an attention seeker and didn't want that I just wanted to let everything all out and the title does reflect how I feel, but it's not immediate.
I am SO tired! Xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
That's a fab pic in your avatar Mytimenow, did one of your kids do that?
I have been where you are, back and forth at the mo though. The thing I find with these thoughts is that they do eventually pass. Sometimes it takes months but most of the time I will find something to smile about in a day or two. I have a short attention span
If you are looking for work at the mo how about doing some volunteering? It's a great way to get out of yourself, and meet new people, and sometimes it can lead directly to work. Doing stuff is a great way to raise your self esteem which is always a good thing x
I have been where you are, back and forth at the mo though. The thing I find with these thoughts is that they do eventually pass. Sometimes it takes months but most of the time I will find something to smile about in a day or two. I have a short attention span
If you are looking for work at the mo how about doing some volunteering? It's a great way to get out of yourself, and meet new people, and sometimes it can lead directly to work. Doing stuff is a great way to raise your self esteem which is always a good thing x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Ohta
Hi MyTimeNow,
I am sorry you are so blue.
What made you smile today?
I hope you will feel better.
I am sorry you are so blue.
What made you smile today?
I hope you will feel better.
I've asked Anna to lock the thread. I was up at 1.30 so we could all leave (me, DS and DD who is 4) at 3am, I forgot my meds, I haven't slept. I've calmed down now I have ranted. It doesn't change or make everything better, but it helps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by hypochondriac
That's a fab pic in your avatar Mytimenow, did one of your kids do that?
I have been where you are, back and forth at the mo though. The thing I find with these thoughts is that they do eventually pass. Sometimes it takes months but most of the time I will find something to smile about in a day or two. I have a short attention span
If you are looking for work at the mo how about doing some volunteering? It's a great way to get out of yourself, and meet new people, and sometimes it can lead directly to work. Doing stuff is a great way to raise your self esteem which is always a good thing x
I have been where you are, back and forth at the mo though. The thing I find with these thoughts is that they do eventually pass. Sometimes it takes months but most of the time I will find something to smile about in a day or two. I have a short attention span
If you are looking for work at the mo how about doing some volunteering? It's a great way to get out of yourself, and meet new people, and sometimes it can lead directly to work. Doing stuff is a great way to raise your self esteem which is always a good thing x
In the eyes of my 4 year old daughter, sunburned face I did some volunteering for cats protection, it was only tin holding (not allowed to rattle) but I absolutely loved it being out of the house and just having a wee bit of chat with those that were interested.
I need a life for me that is my problem, I feel so tired all the time with the kids...
Maybe Anna shouldn't lock the thread, this could be quite cathartic and helpful.
I am so grateful to you all xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Hi MTN
Like you, I think, I have often wanted to be dead. It's a passive thing, not an active, "I want to kill myself".
The thought of killing myself is no longer a comfort, now that I am a mum. I can't bear the thought of being without my mum and I'm 42. How could I be responsible for doing that to my most loved 4 yr old?
My oldest friend died in April. She was 43. It was sudden and nothing to do with alcohol. She has 2 children aged 10 and 12. The consequences are unimaginable.
You are loved, valued and needed. Talk. Get help. Stick around. Find a way to live. If you are in Scotland and need to talk to someone call Breathing Space.
Like you, I think, I have often wanted to be dead. It's a passive thing, not an active, "I want to kill myself".
The thought of killing myself is no longer a comfort, now that I am a mum. I can't bear the thought of being without my mum and I'm 42. How could I be responsible for doing that to my most loved 4 yr old?
My oldest friend died in April. She was 43. It was sudden and nothing to do with alcohol. She has 2 children aged 10 and 12. The consequences are unimaginable.
You are loved, valued and needed. Talk. Get help. Stick around. Find a way to live. If you are in Scotland and need to talk to someone call Breathing Space.
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
If you can't live and you can't die...make coffee.
That is profound. Loneliness and isolation are not a good thing, and we can't get better alone. Reach out, go to a meeting, be of service, make coffee; help yourself by helping others. The point being, whether it is professional help, therapy, doctors; or recovery programs....what we need is available. we just need to be willing.
Take care.
That is profound. Loneliness and isolation are not a good thing, and we can't get better alone. Reach out, go to a meeting, be of service, make coffee; help yourself by helping others. The point being, whether it is professional help, therapy, doctors; or recovery programs....what we need is available. we just need to be willing.
Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Can you write down even one logical reason why the above statement could possibly be true?
I have no job, daughter who is 4 came along when eldest was 11. I'd been told I couldn't have any more children, scans of uterine and fallopian scars and 5 years of unprotected sex backed that up... Doh! Unprotected sex with the same man I should add lol, he bought my son up since the age of 5, left when our own baby was 3 weeks old...
I just never really got it together since. I'm exhausted all the time, grumpy with them lots, I miss son and I being on our own together and he's exhausted by his manic sister jumping all over him...
You're right. I need to step up, it might be hard work but they both absolutely love me. I am their rock. I'm feeling sorry for myself? History repeating, exactly what my Mum did for 25 years... OK Let's change this!!!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey MTN ,
I've always felt like a square peg person in a round hole life . For me things started to feel better when i gave up the wanting to be something other than what i was .
I think buddha said "happiness is contentment with what there is" .
Back when i was working my way out of depression i forced myself to think of two good things for each bad thing ...
these days my head is pritty quite most of the time , It is possible to slowly unravel it and toss most of it into the dustbin and live free from any of it .
Bestwishes, m
I've always felt like a square peg person in a round hole life . For me things started to feel better when i gave up the wanting to be something other than what i was .
I think buddha said "happiness is contentment with what there is" .
Back when i was working my way out of depression i forced myself to think of two good things for each bad thing ...
these days my head is pritty quite most of the time , It is possible to slowly unravel it and toss most of it into the dustbin and live free from any of it .
Bestwishes, m
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by mecanix
Hey MTN ,
I've always felt like a square peg person in a round hole life . For me things started to feel better when i gave up the wanting to be something other than what i was .
I think buddha said "happiness is contentment with what there is" .
Back when i was working my way out of depression i forced myself to think of two good things for each bad thing ...
these days my head is pritty quite most of the time , It is possible to slowly unravel it and toss most of it into the dustbin and live free from any of it .
Bestwishes, m
I've always felt like a square peg person in a round hole life . For me things started to feel better when i gave up the wanting to be something other than what i was .
I think buddha said "happiness is contentment with what there is" .
Back when i was working my way out of depression i forced myself to think of two good things for each bad thing ...
these days my head is pritty quite most of the time , It is possible to slowly unravel it and toss most of it into the dustbin and live free from any of it .
Bestwishes, m
I've known lately that I need acceptance of my life more than anything - I don't ask for happiness and have always asked just to be content.
It will require some patience as what I'm dealing with is being bellowed at 5.30am regardless - I'm ready for my breakfast!!! And l love her with all my heart, of course I do, but it get's flippin' wearing!
Stupid thing to moan about and I've been doing it for years so its her dad who recently got in touch that I need to unravel and throw in the bin.
I just want some 'me' time. What about me? What about my life? I've given up 16 years now for these children, where is my chance to start again? Stupid thinking I know, as I'm bright enough to do anything I put my mind to... too busy thinking depressed and drinking. Not up and out and doing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Hollyanne
Hi MyTimeNow,
Just wanted to chime in and give you a virtual hug.
I will say one small iddy biddy thing.
You ARE NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!
OK,
And go to bed and get some sleep.
Just wanted to chime in and give you a virtual hug.
I will say one small iddy biddy thing.
You ARE NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!
OK,
And go to bed and get some sleep.
Thank you and goodnight to all my lovely SR friends. I wouldn't know where I'd be without you lot to rant to and bat things about back and forth.
NN xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Hi.
I am hearing that you are getting little or no down or 'me' time and I am sorry that I don't have any suggestions for this, presumably, you call in any time from your family and friends that you can?
I found that I was getting angry with my son. Unreasonably so. I found out about and attended a free PPP ( Positive Parenting Programme) course via my Local Authority and I am am getting ongoing help from a council worker which is so helpful and supportive. Maybe something you could access too?
I am hearing that you are getting little or no down or 'me' time and I am sorry that I don't have any suggestions for this, presumably, you call in any time from your family and friends that you can?
I found that I was getting angry with my son. Unreasonably so. I found out about and attended a free PPP ( Positive Parenting Programme) course via my Local Authority and I am am getting ongoing help from a council worker which is so helpful and supportive. Maybe something you could access too?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
