amandaw

Just got back from the doctor's office. She referred me to an outpatient rehab. I've already scheduled my first day in the rehab. What upset me though was that she wouldn't give me anything for the anxiety. That's usually what gets me to start drinking again. Anxiety and the lack of sleep that results from it. That's why I only make it a day or two at a time before caving in to alcohol. She said any drug she could give me would have a horrible reaction if I were to drink while taking it. I tried expaining that I wouldn't need to drink without the anxiety and insomnia that cause me to drink in the first place. She told me that it could kill me if I take any pills and then decide to drink. We danced around the issue the entire appointment. I don't want it to sound like I'm pill-happy, but I'm seriously considering getting a new doctor. I need help staying sober and I just don't see it happening if I don't have something for the initial days of sobriety to keep me from feeling so anxious. I'm getting anxious just typing this..... Starting to feel hopeless.

ScottFromWI

A second opinion doesn't hurt if you can afford it or your insurance will cover it. Having said that I can see her side of it too, prescribing potentially addictive drugs to a freshly recovering addict is not to be taken lightly.

My anxiety decreased significantly after getting sober, even within a couple weeks it was much less than it was while I was drinking. How long has it been since you quit this time?

Nuudawn

Hey Amanda...first off. Congrats on getting yourself to the doc. Awesome. And ya know, my sis ended up in emergency last year over drinking. The doc gave her anti anxiety med's to help her stop. She did stop awhile and then started drinking again. When we discussed her quitting again and her fear about what will happen when she does, I asked her what doc gave her last time. She said...well, that won't help cuz I'm taking those AND drinking now. It's a slippery slope that a responsible doc is wary of. Mixing sedatives and alcohol is deadly.

There are other remedies for anxiety. What is wrong right now? What is getting you anxious? Stay in the moment..what is wrong with this moment right now.

least

I hope you can get past the initial anxiety and stay sober. The anxiety really does get better with time.

ClearLight

I sure wouldn't want to take sleeping pills and drink. That = death.

Don't know about anti-anxiety meds. If they're sedatives then those combined with alcohol = death.

Please be VERY careful.

amandaw

I feel anxious that I won't be able to sleep. I've always had sleep issues. I know that the alcohol really just makes it worse, but I'm sort of used to it now. I'm feeling immense guilt as well. I don't like these feelings. I want them to go away. I don't want to deal with it. Drinking does that for me. I know that the problems are usually made worse by drinking, but the numbness is what I crave. I usually make it to day 3 then cave. The anxiety and cravings are at their peak then. Again, I know I need to learn to deal with things without ANY meds or alcohol, but right now I'd really like to get off the alcohol. I feel if I have something to help me cope with my feelings and sleeplessness, I'll be able to taper off the meds later on. I DON'T want to drink. I just want to be happy again.

CharlieNoogan

Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist. There are a number of non-addictive anti-depressants that are effective in controlling anxiety. A non-SSRI med I was prescribed that killed my anxiety/depression was mirtazapine. My doctor and I settled on this drug because it has the beneficial side effect of making you sleepy. I had the exact same issues you describe: anxiety giving me racing thoughts that kept me awake, added anxiety about not being able to sleep, all leading to 3-4 hours of tossing and turning before I could get to sleep.

I took this med for about 4 months and within a week, I was falling asleep within 20 minutes and sleeping better than ever. It's the closest thing to a "happy pill" that I have ever taken. It also killed my alcohol cravings. There are virtually no withdrawal symptoms if you taper off under the supervision of your doctor.

It's worth at least checking it out.

MemphisBlues

The hardest task for any of us trying to get sober is getting through those first intense days. Throw in the physical aspects of withdrawal on top of an already anxious person and it's a recipe for relapse.

You say you get to day three and cave. Perhaps you could just accept that Day Three is going to be hell, that you will have high anxiety, that you won't sleep, that you will crave alcohol, but hang on with your fingernails to get to Day Four.

And then Day Five. Because I can tell you it gets better.

And the anti anxiety meds? They brought me to my knees, nearly killed me getting off of them, and set me up for a protracted withdrawal that lasted for months.

The truth of the matter here is your strong desire to get sober and your inability to handle the intense discomfort initial recovery entails crates a special hell on earth. The solution is to find help, whether inpatient, a support group of the 12 Step variety, a therapist or anything or anyone else besides trying to do this alone.

Mizzuno

As your title states " Im sure she is right, but that doesnt mean I have to like it..."

This is true. You do not have to like it at all. The first few days are really tough. Telling yourself that you can not do it, is setting yourself up for failure. You can make it through. You dont have to like it. You have to do it. Keep posting. Let us help you through. We can talk you through.

Lifewillgetbet

I had sleep and anxiety issues. Big time.
I spoke with my Dr and got some natural remedies. I have never been a believer in Natural Remedies AT ALL, but WOW. Calmed me Down (lowered anxiety) and helped me sleep. I was shocked that they actually worked. You should talk to Dr about Natural/ Non-Addictive remedies.
My Dr is not big on giving me (an addict) drugs that are addictive either. He is very particular at only giving me a few days of this or that for my WD's and Not 1 pill extra.

Best of luck.

ScottFromWI

Just something to throw out there, but what makes you think it will be any easier to taper off the meds later than the issues you are having now?

Don't take this the wrong way, but if you were using the same reasoning with your doctor ( you said you went through the argument several times with her ) I am not surprised she decided not to prescribe any drugs. From your above post, it seems you are looking for a way to escape and not deal with the reality of withdrawals by getting a script. In a sense it's no different than drinking.

amandaw

Memphis Blues Thanks. That was a powerful response. Scott, I only wanted the script for the first few days of withdrawal. Like 4 max. I'm not looking for a refillable prescription. Otherwise, you're right. I know I'm jacked up right now and desperate. I want this time to be different so im trying to do whatever I can. I did enroll in an outpatient rehab and am starting that Monday.

NotTooSmart

amandaw, do you have a local AA meeting schedule? I don't know what outpatient rehab is like, but if you leave at 5pm ish, there are sometimes AA meetings later at night. On day 3 in particular I would make a hardcore plan not to be alone.

Just throwing this out there. You CAN get through these days without meds or drinking. It is physically possible- I'm assuming here that your doc cleared you for the risk of dangerous withdrawal. It will likely be miserable but then it will get better. The bad feelings are time limited. And then it will be over with no having to worry about getting hooked on some benzo or other. I second the recommendation to find a psychiatrist!

amandaw

I realize that I totally contradicted myself. I initially asked for some thing to ease my anxiety and help me sleep, upon refusal, I asked for something for just the next few days.

ScottFromWI

That's great that you enrolled in the OP program, takes a lot of guts to do so. I wish you the best of luck.

Honestly for me the first 3-4 days were the absolute worst too. But frankly all of the symptoms for the most part are just that - symptoms and temporary pain. You can make it through them if you really want to, even without drugs. I understand how hard it seems, we've all been through it too. I found keeping a very detailed schedule of what I was going to do each hour of the day and keeping myself busy went a long way in keeping me from thinking about the bad stuff.

You can do this - use SR lots this weekend too!

hypochondriac

I don't know what else you have looked into Amanda but it might be worth looking into various methods to help get you through the first few days. AVRT really helped me just not pick up again, and techniques such as urge surfing, thinking the drink through... There are lots of handy little tips to help us through the worst of it. Like you I had massive anxiety that made me cave whenever I tried to quit, some of that anxiety I realised though was alcohol withdrawal. I didn't take any meds for that myself but perhaps this is where your concern should be rather than the anxiety. Anxiety is unpleasant but it won't kill you. I am sure the outpatient care will cover this but maybe it is worth asking them what the detox plan is...?

noexcuse

Hi, amandaw! Glad you're joining our sober train. My biggest obstacle was getting over the anxiety and sleeplessness. I have been on anxiety and sleeping meds for four years, about. In fact, I was in outpatient in January of this year, and I was so horrified over having to give up my anxiety prescription and my sleeping prescription that I actually convinced the counselor in charge of the outpatient program to allow me to keep taking them. Fast forward a couple months and I started taking yet another script for pain (also prescribed) until I finally ended back out drinking again.

My last drunk was on July 4th. I ended up in jail that night and stayed there for two nights, missed work on the 5th and got a verbal warning for that, got shut out by my friends and family, missed a family picnic on the 6th, had my kids removed from me on the 9th, got ordered back into treatment and counseling... There's more than I care to relive at this moment. In any case, I have not drank or taken either the sleeping pill or the anxiety pill since the 4th. I have lived on that slippery slope for far too long and I know where it leads, right back to hell on earth. It took me around ten days to finally get a decent night of sleep, and the anxiety still bubbles to the surface pretty frequently, but it's getting better. The only way to get over it was to live through it, and I feel stronger now than I have in a long time. Hope that helps a bit.

ReadyAtLast

My anxiety has reduced massively since I stopped drinking but it took months not days.

I've been to my docs too and asked but been told no by 2 different docs.They are very reluctant to prescribe anti-anxiety drugs as so hugely addictive,very dangerous with alcohol and also have horrendous side effects when trying to come off them. Giving hugely addictive drugs to a person who is addicted to alocohol is not a great idea as the doc probbaly thinks you'll replace one addiction with another. I was referred for counselling and also coping strategies etc

Since getting sober(7.5 months ago) I'm learning new skills and strategies to deal with my anxiety- positive thinking, mindfulness. I was sceptical at first but it works. Not overnight but takes time, is a gradual journey and no doubt an ongoing one. I've learnt there's no quick fix to this. Yes, taking a pill would help in the short term but maybe not a great ongoing solution

Drinking causes so much anxiety but I genuinely had noidea of that. one of the most amazing effects of quitting is my reduced to a manageable level anxiety.

Babs78756

Amandaw- do you have access to a health food store? I take valerian root to help me sleep. I've taken kudzu before as we'll, vitamin b and sleep time tea- extra. I have anxiety as well and all of these have been helpful at one time or another. There should be someone at the health food store (central market? Whole foods? Trader joes?) that could recommend something else as well... Just a suggestion.

amandaw

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I will look into avrt. I don't think AA is fir me. I've gone to many meetings, so it's not like I haven't given it a chance. The OP program will probably require me to go to meetings, and I'm fine with that. I'll do any thing. Im just going to have to get over the absence of meds.