jstar

Went for an assessment yesterday at an outpatient rehab. Signed up. They sent me to see a dr today & he gave me 2 meds to help with withdrawal and cravings to begin the detox treatment tomorrow. I haven't taken either yet. Had to sign a safety agreement with my husband that he would dispense/monitor the meds they gave me to detox. They want me to do an ambulatory detox for a week before I get put in IOP. I wasn't really expecting that...freaked me out. Going into the dr office and having to do a urine test & all that made me feel like such an addict. I mean I know I am but to be out in the world & feel like that seemed new to me. Feeling like a failure.
7/25/12 was my sobriety date last year when I checked into rehab on 7/24 last summer. So ironic it's creepy. It's like I'm getting a second chance with the same sobriety date, just one year later exactly.
I just poured down the sink the last of the alcohol I had stashed around the house. Just typing that strikes me as a little crazy that I would hide bottles around my house. Who does that?
I'm actually really scared about starting tomorrow. This has been so hard & I just really hope I can make it.
This disease is so devious

coraltint

You've learned enough about addiction to know that some of the things you've been doing aren't "normal" drinking or use patterns, so the past year hasn't been a waste & you're not a failure.

You are lucky/blessed to have this 2nd chance....some people don't get that.

Good luck, keep coming back, jstar!!

GracieLou

Jstar, it takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing. Try to hang on to that courage. The fact that you have taken this step shows you are willing to do what ever it takes which means you have have what it takes to make it.

Take one day at a time.