This is hard!
 

Ok so I have posted about how great I have felt and how AA scares me because of the facing issues making amends etc.. I am not attending meetings but I am however sober, clean and journaling all my feelings and I am getting depressed from everything that sobriety is bringing out of me.

I know now exactly why I drank and did drugs, there is too much to face from the past that I just don't want to think about. Bad choices, lost time, hurt and pain, etc...

Stopping drinking for me is the easy part, wanting to deal with all this crap isn't something that I wanted to begin with and THAT makes me want to get high and drink!

Of course I am a frikin ADULT and the scape of drinking and drugs isn't an option for me anymore.. So dealing with the depression, crankiness etc.. Is all I can do.. Maybe journaling is not a good thing when you r PMSING!

Please someone tell me you can relate! I always find comfort here! Thanks..
:headbange

Hello Silvy,

for me getting sober was one part of the issue, learning how to like to live sober was the other part . There are many ways to learn as to how to deal with issues, just look at the self help section in a book store or online bookshop .

The furthur i got from the last drink the less i've had urges to drink and the more calm and settled i've felt ... thats without AA or any input other than coming here to SR .

Myself i'd not rule anything out , If you have specific issues to deal with then maybe some kind of councelling might be appropriate ?

Whatever you do, keep on keeping on .

Bestwishes, m

Welcome to early sobriety, Silvy.

There's nothing unusual about what you describe. None of what you're experiencing lasts forever, though it sucks for all of us while we're going through it.

Sounds like you've spooked yourself into staying away from AA. It really isn't all that bad, though it's not the solution for some people. No one is going to suggest you face your fears and make amends right away. That's not how it works. Letting others know who you are, and that you're new to this, will spur the kind of support that's available here. It's great having people you can talk to -- even visit with, God help us! -- who have gone through or are going through the same things you're experiencing.

I'm not fond of the AA slogans, but one I've heard before may be helpful to you: First it gets good. Then it gets better. Then it gets real.

You only need to stay around long enough for things to get good. And then, you'll want things to get better.

For us, if we neglect those who are still sick, there is unremitting danger to our own lives and sanity.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151

Hey Silvy :)

there's nothing that says you have to face all that now, and nothing that expects you to fix any of it right now.

Get yourself together, grow in strength and then, in a while, when you feel up to it, you can look around at what you think needs doing :)

I think you'll do a much better job of it then :)

D

I have felt what you are feeling for sure. The one thing that made sense was to change my behaviors and ensure that I did not walk in that direction again. We have to deal with ourselves, life, people, situations, and everything else. We do not have to deal with everything all at once ( I am learning this today) With each day, the weight will become lighter. You are not alone.

Hi Silvy.

I remember feeling overwhelmed with the task ahead of me at the beginning too.

Try to remember you've got the rest of your life to fix things and it starts with getting and staying sober. The longer sober time you have, the clearer the way ahead will become.

Slow down just a little, take good care of yourself and things will start to work themselves out, you'll see x

Thank you so much.....the people here in SR community are wonderful ... Your words advice does make a difference.. Dee74 I am going to take your advice and just get strong and not deal with so much at the same time.. I also might go to an AA meeting this week to get some interaction in person... Maybe I need a sponsor or just a new friend to talk to. All my friends drink and I don't think they can relate to all a recovering alcoholic goes thru. For now I will keep posting here and venting... One day at the time..

Btw I call myself an alcoholic because I only used drugs when I got tipsy ...it was an escalation from drinking... I have never touched drugs without the influence of alcohol.. Can anyone relate?

Sure. I can relate. Alcohol does a number on me, and I make decisions that I would not otherwise make when under the influence. It is like night and day really.

I can relate Silvy,

I once became physically addicted to pain killers after a major surgery. But I have never obsessed over drugs, and when it came down to it I could walk away from them. I have never been able to do that with alcohol without help.

Welcome Silvy
It can be very overwhelming at first but it really does get better.

There are many recovery options available. I read about Rational Recovery/AVRT when I first quit. For many years I've been depressed thinking about the past and anxious about the future. Since then, I've learnt about urge surfing and positive thinking/mindfulness which is very much an ongoing process for me and learning everyday but it does help. I've learnt so much from SR and try to live for 'Now' Easier said than done sometimes but heading in the right direction :)

If you like reading-2 books which have helped me immensely are "The Power of Now" Eckhart Tolle and "Think Right,Feel Right"- Dr R Isett. Jon Kabat Zinn is also very good,all recommended to me on SR :)