maybebabey

Whilst not tempted to drink, I am sad. Thought I might feel a bit superior like I knew something they don't, but actually wry one being quite civilised and enjoying a nice red. I guess I am surprised by how sad it makes me that I can't join in. I know that's not how it would go for me though and the hangover isn't worth it for a bit of red liquid. Alcohol has such a weird hold over us....

jkb

Last night I went to dinner at a place where I used to get drunk. They have a nice bar and pretty decent food. The smell of the place, seeing "my bar stool" and the patio where I had once taken so many shots.... well I went home and damn near cried I wanted to drink so bad.

You are right... alcohol does have a strange hold on me as well

hartman

understand that one totally , i think as alcoholics there is an underlying jelousy to some degree with those social drinkers but i think it is important to still socialise with those who drink and try and be happy enough with our true selfs.Easier said than done i know! Keep going strong and i wish u the best of luck

PippoRossi

I had dinner at my best friend's house the other night. Everyone else was drinking, but I think she likes to drink more than others. All I got was annoyed when she'd laugh uncontrollably at something I'd say. I have a good sense of humor, but I know the alcohol was making me sound funnier than I really was. :-\ I get how you could feel a bit left out and that sucks.

GwenCummings

It is sad to miss out on on one of life's pleasures but I have tried controlled social drinking so many times I am absolutely certain it's not for me. I intend to spend a very limited amount of time with drinkers for the foreseeable future. Let them come and spend some non drinking time with me. 😉

ReadyAtLast

I think itdepends on how far on in sobriety you are. There is no way I would have gone anywhere near a dinner party inthe early weeks (though I had to do Christmas )

I'vespent thelast few weeks working on living sober and dealing with situations where others may drink. I've been to a couple of dinner parties recently and whilst not tempted to drink found it a bit boring being around others drinking so left early.

SusieMac

Hi Everyone
This is my first ever post and what I have found when I have said I dont drink anymore a lot of people just stop inviting you to parties and nights out Which is pretty bad as it makes you feel sooo isolated just like when you stayed at home and got drunk in the past. Just when you can actually go out and know your not going to spoil a night out by getting steaming drunk and that your looking forward to socialising you get dropped as people seem to think you cant possibly being enjoying yourself without a drink and they seem to feel uncomfortable about it and its quite upsetting sometimes, but still want to stay sober and find different friends lol

DrunkenBob

Went through this on Sunday. I also had a sad feeling. Wished I could be "normal" like the rest of them.

I know I cannot moderate so it's one or the other for me.

ReadyAtLast

welcome susie btw

GwenCummings

Hello susie mac! 😀

GwenCummings

I'm not sure how many drinkers are actually normal. I could appear normal, sipping my wine and chatting nicely like a good girl. No-one knew about the very strong martini I had before the party or the sipping gin for between courses when I was clearing the plates, or the several night caps after everyone had gone... Or the wine bottle by my bed.

How many normal friends are doing that when you're not looking?

neferkamichael

Maybebabey, First dinner party with drinkers? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Yes, alcohol does have a weird effect on us.

GwenCummings

Maybe the trick is to believe that the normal thing to do is to allow your liver to do it's job without being presented with a poison on a regular basis. Maybe it's normal to seek natural highs and find joy in the life around you without the aid of stimulants or depressants. The other day I walked my dog and when she got in the river I got in there with her. She was overjoyed and I laughed till I cried with sheer joy. Of course we don't have alligators in England. 😉

ReadyAtLast

I agree Gwen.I'm finding so many new things to do now sober. Last week I spent most days with my son at the beach ( enjoying the rare wonderful British weather )

Last summer I spent every afternoon clock watching for wine o'clock and always had to be home by 5 at the latest to open wine. This year we've stayed out all evening swimming inthe sea and it's been utterly brilliant to discover new,simple joys in life now sober

Dee74

maybey isn't today day 4 for you?
I'd seriously reconsider throwing yourself into a dinner party this soon.

Why not give yourself a little break - develop your sobriety muscles a little first?

Welcome Susie

yeah my old drinking buddies weren't interested in not drinking either.

I made new friends and reconnected with old ones - I have friendships built on something else other than a mutual love of alcohol now and I like my life now a lot better

D

maybebabey

Thanks everyone! Day 5 almost over and I cancelled an evening with a friend this evening as two nights around alcohol is pushing it. I take Dee's point that its a bit early to be this close contact with my old life.

Mistical

Congrats on surviving the party! I hate the hold alcohol has on me and I'm sure I will cry thru my first sober outing but seeing that others have done it makes me feel like I've got this too!

Nuudawn

For me, I'm working on feeling normal without alcohol. It's abnormal to feel abnormal because you don't have a drink in your hand. People not in the grips of the hijacked addictive mind..feel the same with or without the drink in their hand. Alcohol does not define their normalness..lol.

Tang

Gwen you are fabulous!

secretary

Just had dinner with a drinking buddy of mine and I could see that our friendship was not going to remain the same. She didn't feel comfortable ordering a drink even tho I told her that it would be okay with me. She even asked me "Well, this isn't going to last forever, is it." Wow. the whole evening just made me sad, not to mention there was vodka all around me. But I did not drink and here I am writing to people who do understand what I'm going through.