JM1846

Hey everyone, I'm brand new to this,p currently posting between running to the bathroom. I came clean to my family and girlfriend about an oxy addiction that I've been hiding pretty well I thought for the last couple years.... Only thing is I guess I wasn't really doing a good job hiding it. My parents were not surprised one bit. My girl freaked and left, told her parents and told me never to talk to her again. That's something that is hurtful but not the most important. I'm about 2 days clean, freaking out, no sleep, fevers, chills, on and off the toilet all day, lost my job but at least my boss understood, he laid me off to go to rehab. I'm supposed to leave. N two days to a place that will have a bed for me but I'm scared that when its over ill be right back here, the love of my life gone, and in such easy access to the 30s I abused. Idk what I'm looking for I'm just sitting up and I'm freaking out.

Trooper13

Don't freak out, it will be fine. Remember 1 day at a time or, sometimes, 1 minute at a time.

Oh, and welcome.

BarbieKen

Welcome JM. The unknown can be scary. But, you've got help at your disposal. A place to feel safe and begin your sobriety. Parents who are supporting you through this too! As it's been said before....just put one foot in front of the other. We all ( no matter how much time we have) take it one day at a time. I find SR to be an excellent tool for my daily commitment to stay sober. :-D. Bobbi

EndGameNYC

Freak away. You've made what is likely the most important decision in your life. No matter what happens next, none of it will ever be as painful and as maddening as living in your addiction.

JM1846

Thanks everyone,

I found out today that there's a bed available for me on Monday. I really do have a great family they are helping me a lot so I'm greatful for them. As far as the girlfriend goes, I really did not expect her to react like this but what will be will be. I gotta get my life back in order (start to) and what happens after that I guess I will see. It's a bit disappointing but I guess I don't blame her.

Thanks for your kind words though. It's day three and things still feel pretty bad.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!! When I quit using, I was quite sure that I'd go back to crack (my DOC -drug of choice) at some time but "manage it". However, I promised that I'd give this "recovery thing" my best effort for 6 months. If I still felt the same way, well, I'd tried.

Some days it was one minute at a time. It wasn't nearly 6 months, though, that I was determined I was NEVER going back to crack, and SR was one of my biggest forms of support.

I'd lurked forever, didn't join here until I had my 6 months clean and now it's over 6 years. I think most of us have thoughts about if we can do this, will we be strong enough in the beginning, but I'd read the success stories and the stories of those who went back out. The success stories gave me strength and inspiration that I COULD do it, the "back out" stories reminded me why I never want to go back.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Anna

You're doing great and freaking out in the early days is pretty common. I'm so glad your family is supportive and you are going to get the help you need. I'm sorry about your girlfriend, but all you can do now is to take care of yourself and get better.

pinkgate

JM, hang in there and go for the bed. Things are the way they are with girl and job, etc. Any situation is going to better if you are detoxed and clear headed. Puts you in a position to work on making it better. The alternative is a downward spiral with no girl or job. You've gotten this far, and that's a great start.

Mizzuno

It is perfectly acceptable to freak out over this. Life is changing for you. Please know that you are making the best decision that you could ever make for your life. I know that you are scared of the future. Take it one day at a time. Everything works out.