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Old 07-23-2013, 11:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Weekend drinking?


Hello all!
I posted a few weeks ago about trying to quit drinking and always doing well until the weekend and the losing all resolve and giving in on Friday.
Every week now, I get to Day 5 and then drink pretty heavily on Sat and Sun. I feel bad and resolve to try harder and then I repeat the cycle. I've been thinking lately though "Is this really that bad"? What do you guys think? I'm not looking for a medical opinion, just friendly advice..I know I can quit during the work week, so maybe getting drunk 2 nights a week is the best of both worlds? I get the benefits of being clear headed and focused during the week and then the freedom to do whatever I want on Fri. And Sat.? Please let me know if you have tried this and it led back to drinking most nights or if you've ever had success with this plan. I know I didn't reinvent he wheel with this idea, but it seems to have worked for me so far..I really look forward to your feedback.
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Old 07-23-2013, 12:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It's really up to you to decide if it's a problem or not BoSox. If your drinking doesn't cause any issues with your health or your family, and you can quit at any time without having any repercussions perhaps you aren't an alcoholic.

The fact that you can't seem to control your drinking on the weekends is a red flag to be sure. The fact that it makes you feel bad and you continue to do it anyway also isn't a good sign.

Moderation is impossible for a true alcoholic, and this is a recovery forum, so you won't find anyone advocating it. Many of us have tried again and again to do so, but it never works.

Bottom line, you have to make a choice, and if that choice is sobriety there is a lot of help you can find here on your path. I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
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Old 07-23-2013, 12:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi. In AA it's suggested to go 90 days without any drinking, along with going to meetings. If you can't make it you probably need to get a program of not drinking as it will get worse.
I'd suggest reading a bunch of postings on this site to get some insight. BE WELL
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Old 07-23-2013, 12:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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If you can't quit drinking despite your strong desire to do so--and you came here with a strong desire to quit--you have a problem. If you think drinking on the weekend is a compromise, how long will it before you start justifying drinking on Sunday, or an occasional weeknight, or two.

If your problem was enough to have you join an online recovery forum, it's probably at the stage where it will progress if not checked. Maybe not in a year, or several years, but eventually our drinking begins to intrude on every facet of our life.
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Old 07-23-2013, 12:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I used to drink every night then I cut it back to every Saturday night but the point is it does not matter when or on what day I drink what matters is when I drink I can't control how much and I can't guarantee I will come home in one piece or at home at all.. Quantity or days does not matter it's what happens when you drink that matters...

What I feel makes me differant is I can wake up after a heavy night of drinking and I may have done something terrible and promise myself that I will never drink again, yet 1 week 1 moth later iam doing the same thing again ... Insanity.. Addiction.. Alcoholism.. What ever you want to call it.
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Old 07-23-2013, 12:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for he replys!
I agree that it's a red flag that I can't really moderately drink. I have sort of an excessive personality and don't do well with moderation of anything! That being said, I have no problem stopping during the week. I might get a little anxious at night on Sunday or Monday and be a little foggy on Monday but that's as far as withdrawals. I guess my problem is that I can never have just two drinks on night where I don't have anything to do the next day. To me it's impossible. Why not have 3 or 4 or 8? I know that type of thinking indicates a real problem drinker, the fact that I can then not drink any time I want makes me feel like I don't have a problem that's wh I'm confused as to what o do..I know it's m decision but I appreciate the feedback and discussion.
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Old 07-23-2013, 12:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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As I said I can stop drinking during the week no problem and I run too succesful companies... But my experience shows me that can not ever moderate when it comes to alcohol like you said why have 1 or 2 when you can 5 or 25...

Why not stop on your own for 90 days if you have no alcohol addiction problem it will be easy and no big deal at all..... If you can't then you may want to rethink your relationship with alcohol.
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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As another poster mentioned, why not just try quitting for 30 days and see what happens. You might find that you actually like it!
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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BoSox1 - I realized it was getting out of control for me, so for the last 18 months I've been doing what you're suggesting. Just two days. I drank on a Tuesday and a Friday. And limited my intake. Sometimes I've added an extra day or two, sometimes I've added a extra couple of drinks. I've done this so I could appear to be living a normal life, and to still function correctly at work. But at the end of the day, it produced the same results, I got drunk, and its messed up my life! Big time! Personally I've had enough now.

This is my experience. But I'd say, if you'd broken a leg you'd find away to fix it right? I'd say the same with alcoholism, if your not happy, then fix it up?

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Old 07-23-2013, 01:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoSox1 View Post
...the fact that I can then not drink any time I want makes me feel like I don't have a problem that's wh I'm confused as to what o do..
Your problem may reside in the fact that you think going a week without drinking is the same as not drinking any time you want.

If that was true, you could go 6 months without drinking. But the fact is, you can't go beyond a week.

You want to be a normal drinker. Didn't we all. For us that means being able to drink without the consequences of drinking. Doesn't work that way.

You seem determined to hang on to the illusion that you can drink non-alcoholically. I wish you luck in that regard. In time you'll come to your own conclusions.
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Carl, thanks for the response and I appreciate the insightful feedback. I think you hit it on the head about wanting to drink normally. I am positive I could go the 6 months you suggest if I really put my mind to it, it's just that on Friday, it's almost like I can't come up with a reason not to drink. Your post about how this might work for months or years but will eventually catch up with me also made me think. Thanks!
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoSox1 View Post
Carl, thanks for the response and I appreciate the insightful feedback. I think you hit it on the head about wanting to drink normally. I am positive I could go the 6 months you suggest if I really put my mind to it, it's just that on Friday, it's almost like I can't come up with a reason not to drink. Your post about how this might work for months or years but will eventually catch up with me also made me think. Thanks!
Another couple red flags there to think about BoSox:

1. How are you positive you could go 6 months? Have you ever tried?

2. Having to "come up with a reason to not drink" says to me that you see drinking heavily every weekend as normal - which it is definitely not.

Not trying to bring you down here, just some honest reactions to your replies. I learned over time that many things that seemed "normal" to me were really out of whack with reality in regards to my drinking.
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Thanks Scott, yeah I guess the weekend drinking has always seemed normal to me so I never really thought about it.

No, I've never tried 60 days, I always only last 5 and take that as proof that I can stop whenever I want...I know that sounds ridiculous but that's the way it always works...
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
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For me, I genuinely didn't think I had a problem as I could easily not drink Mon-Thurs. Counting down the hours till Friday though. Looking back each week was never a genuine attempt to quit as I knew I'd always drink on Fridays. It was easy as was never real quitting.

In time, the weekend began to start on Thursdays,then I'd just have a couple Wednesday then hey why bother not drinking Monday and Tuesday too. I obviously didn't have a problem,I told myself. In reality I had a huge problem.

As previously said once we start trying to control it,it's already controlling us. Maybe deep down you know there is a problem. If you don't want to drink Fridays and do drink then it is a sign of a problem. Hope you stick around SR and read others stories and get encouragement and support
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:58 PM   #15 (permalink)
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What you call "weekend drinking" I refer to as "binge drinking". I very rarely would drink during the week and I knew long ago I would rather have "none than one" but, once I started... forget it. Thing was even if I only drank on Friday or Saturday I still had problems. I would end up in a blackout, argument, or so hung over and full of anxiety that I didn't want to do anything the next day.

I really enjoy my weekends now. Wake up clear headed and go to bed the same way. Whether or not you have a problem is really up to you to determine. For me ruining my weekends was a problem but, I know other people who consider the weekend "one big party" and enjoy binging. You decide... and be safe.
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Old 07-23-2013, 01:59 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Well Bosox only thing with that is can you guarantee that you won't have bad consequences? R u willing to put up with the consequences, the guilt, shame , remorse?

I could never moderate. Once I crossed that line. I got tired of feeling bad about myself. Took 37 years but I did get tired of it.
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Old 07-23-2013, 02:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Just wanted to add that drinking only on the week end does not mean you don't have a serious problem and won't suffer the consequences.
One of the old timers in my home group was a week end warrior, had a good job, good family man never in trouble with the law except on the week ends he would go hang out with his friends get drunk and race his car!!!
He was in a very bad crash once but kept his pattern, work and be sober all week and drunk race on the week end until a judge and AA finally put an end to that.
Our alcoholism come in different shape and form but it is still alcoholism.
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Old 07-23-2013, 02:47 PM   #18 (permalink)
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That's pretty much all I drank and there is no doubt it's a problem . It will kill you all the same . I only drink about a 30 pack the whole weekend but I assure you I'm an alcoholic . It starts calling my name on Thursday and by Friday night I'm drunk . I quit every Sunday but by Friday I've talked myself right into it. The thing is if my wife doesn't hide the other 15 beers on Friday night I would drink them all , and that's sad.
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Old 07-23-2013, 03:25 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hi Bosox. Ever heard of individuals who 'have a hangover in company time' ? They wouldn't ruin their own time at the weekend with a hangover, but plan their drinking around turning up to work like half shut knives, no energy, no enthusiasm.

Obviously, I'm not advocating that. Just thinking, is that what you want to work at? Using up your precious leisure time feeling below par?
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Old 07-23-2013, 03:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
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My weekend drinking turned into daily drinking, and I never saw much reason to keep it only on the weekend as long as I could make it to work most of the time. Not drinking at all works better for me than trying to keep it caged all week.

But if you can make it work and that's what you want to do, then I say more power to you! seriously, I'm happy for you if that's working out. And if it turns out that it starts going bad down the road I imagine the SR community will still be around to support you if you need to try a different approach.
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