"character defects"
 

Although I don't spend a lot of time obsessing about character defects or how I am supposed to get them removed as a route to recovery, I do want to let people know something about me:

When I'm at my worst on internet forums, I can be a pompous ass. So, please forgive me in advance and try to go easy on me when I do it. Maybe if you could just elbow me in a ribs and remind me of this tendency of mine before it gets out of control. I would appreciate it.

I'm still only at 52 days sober and I'm very new at this. I know I'm a very intelligent guy, but emotionally I'm a complete idiot and need to make a point of shutting up and learning from time to time.

Anyways, thanks for listening.

Sure as long as you promise to kick me if I become judgemental and arrogant! Judgement and ego are the two biggies I had and have to work on along with lots of other flaws.

Do you remember how old you were
when you took your very first drink?
Most of us were and are teenagers.
Still wet behind the ears emotionally.

We emotionally stop growing the moment
we take that very first drink and become
addicted to this mind altering substance.

What ever age we take our last drink or
drug, then we emmediately emotionally
begin our sober life the emotional age
we took our first drink.

How many character defects did we have
when we took that first drink at a young
age? Maybe some, but not as many as we
have today. All those character defects are
learned behaviors and with an addiction to
fuel them on, then they do get out of hand.

With a recovery program in place to help
us first to recognize them, then second we
can learn right, healthier ways to avoid them.

Today, with some 22 yrs sobriety, I still
have some of those character defects of
mine that I have to keep working on.

You'd think that with working a good
recovery program I wouldn't still be haunted
by those character defect. Well, Im a work
in progress and some lessons for me are
harder to learn. However, I continue to remain
willing, openminded and honest in all my affairs.

I also have to remember that I am not perfect
and that I am progressing to become better.

So can you. :)

I really appreciate this thread Dr. Sober. I know that sometimes with an intention to help, one can miss the mark sometimes. Sometimes you take a swing and you miss or worse bash another poor soul in the head (I'm talking myself here). I think us newbies are finding our way and sometimes we crash into reflections of ourselves..not so flattering. I know I have. We humans are a fallible bunch and well..that's life. That's probably what recovery is all about I suppose. I too can be a pompous, righteous arse in this world...petulant, demanding, two faced, whiny, selfish, arrogant, judgemental, critical..oh the list is endless. But ultimately, my wish honestly is to do no harm..but that's likely impossible. Ya..really good thread.

I know I posted about responses a few days back - and sometimes it's necessary to remind people about stuff...but really, when you consider the size of the place and the number and diversity of people involved, we really are a very civil well behaved bunch :)

If there's ever a serious or ongoing problem with anyone, you'll hear from Anna or me personally- if not, don't go second guessing yourselves too much ;)

D

Oh jeez, this forum in particular, is an excellent source of nourishing my own character defects... LOL... For all the world to see... Many many cringeworthy posts with my name on it...

Sometimes I learn something about myself along the way.

What Dee said... And uh, I have heard from him (and Anna) a time or too. Just try to grow along the way.

I would be too
 

I would be a pompus ass if I had a whole 52 days under my belt :)

BTW what does it even mean to be emotionally stable???

I don't know if anyone's pointed this out to you but some of your posts come across as a bit pompous.

Lol nattythreads

Drsober...wait...pompous ass is bad?

Personally, I think as humans we possess many qualities that in some circumstances create problems for us, but in other circumstances that same quality can serve us well.

I think being human means that at times our behavior may be deemed less than desirable by ourselves or others. But, you know, one man's "pompous ass" is another man's "confident realist"...so who is to say what is a "defect"?