I have to tell someone...I have been sober 30 days now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 33
I have to tell someone...I have been sober 30 days now.
Hello,
I want to tell someone, mostly all of you on this forum, I have been sober for 30 days as of Sunday July 21st. Here are few of the many things I have noticed or thought about since I took my last drink.
No more - Waking at 2 am with a rapid heart rate and anxiety.
No more guilt, shame, and depression every morning because I drank the night before. I have been on anti-depressants for years, but now feel that the depressant effects of alcohol were counteracting my medication.
My kids can drink from my glass anytime now, they don’t have to ask if this is alcohol, I was constantly hiding it in various types of cups and then trying to keep them away from it.
My kids have not seen me drink in a month. My son told his Dad last weekend that Mom quit drinking, Dad said when, my son said about a month ago. My son is only 11 but told me he noticed it when I did not order a margarita at our favorite Mexican restaurant. My ex, who still drinks, confronted me several times now, wondering why I quit drinking, when, etc. I am not ready to discuss this with him. His body language, smirk, and tone already told me he didn’t think I could do it long term.
Now that my son and daughter know I have quit, I feel more accountable, and that is a good thing.
I have lost a couple pounds in the last month; feel lighter, clearer, cleaner, more focused and more enthusiasm for life. I want to do all kinds of things now I would not have before, mostly because I was so consumed with how I would do a certain activity or go on a trip and still drink every day. My interests in other things are coming back.
I have also felt lonely, different, and like I will not fit in (anywhere) any more. That’s funny because “trying to fit in” was one of the reasons I started drinking. I am wondering where, or how, or if I will ever, find non-drinking friends.
When I have been in social situations, or just around people in general, I have felt quiet and shy again, not as chatty without wine. In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.
At first I thought it seemed silly, an online support group, but I cannot tell you how much reading all the posts on here has helped me, motivated me, and inspired me. I could go on forever today, so thanks for reading this long post.
I want to tell someone, mostly all of you on this forum, I have been sober for 30 days as of Sunday July 21st. Here are few of the many things I have noticed or thought about since I took my last drink.
No more - Waking at 2 am with a rapid heart rate and anxiety.
No more guilt, shame, and depression every morning because I drank the night before. I have been on anti-depressants for years, but now feel that the depressant effects of alcohol were counteracting my medication.
My kids can drink from my glass anytime now, they don’t have to ask if this is alcohol, I was constantly hiding it in various types of cups and then trying to keep them away from it.
My kids have not seen me drink in a month. My son told his Dad last weekend that Mom quit drinking, Dad said when, my son said about a month ago. My son is only 11 but told me he noticed it when I did not order a margarita at our favorite Mexican restaurant. My ex, who still drinks, confronted me several times now, wondering why I quit drinking, when, etc. I am not ready to discuss this with him. His body language, smirk, and tone already told me he didn’t think I could do it long term.
Now that my son and daughter know I have quit, I feel more accountable, and that is a good thing.
I have lost a couple pounds in the last month; feel lighter, clearer, cleaner, more focused and more enthusiasm for life. I want to do all kinds of things now I would not have before, mostly because I was so consumed with how I would do a certain activity or go on a trip and still drink every day. My interests in other things are coming back.
I have also felt lonely, different, and like I will not fit in (anywhere) any more. That’s funny because “trying to fit in” was one of the reasons I started drinking. I am wondering where, or how, or if I will ever, find non-drinking friends.
When I have been in social situations, or just around people in general, I have felt quiet and shy again, not as chatty without wine. In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.
At first I thought it seemed silly, an online support group, but I cannot tell you how much reading all the posts on here has helped me, motivated me, and inspired me. I could go on forever today, so thanks for reading this long post.
Jess
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Scotland UK
Posts: 122
Thank you so much for this post 
I can relate to a lot of your drinking story. Drinking alone every night and also out with others, the kids, the ex, the shame and guilt etc...
What a turnaround you have made already! I can't wait to reach a month I always look out for inspirational post such as yours and this one has made me feel especially excited about the weeks to come. Thanks again for taking the time to tell us your account, you truly are an inspiration. I look forward to reading further updates from you!
Congratulations and well done!!!!
I can relate to a lot of your drinking story. Drinking alone every night and also out with others, the kids, the ex, the shame and guilt etc...
What a turnaround you have made already! I can't wait to reach a month
I always look out for inspirational post such as yours and this one has made me feel especially excited about the weeks to come. Thanks again for taking the time to tell us your account, you truly are an inspiration. I look forward to reading further updates from you! Congratulations and well done!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Payson, AZ
Posts: 43
Congratulations on the 30 days. Keep focusing on what you CAN do now without drink and all the ways things are better. You'll find down the road that the things that revolved around drink aren't really important anyway.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Originally Posted by BriteBabyBlue 
In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.
After 6 months, I began to slowly allow alcohol back into my life ... for what I thought were social reasons. It started with a birthday beer at a friend's party. Then it was a beer at the ball park. Then a glass of wine at dinner. No drinking in solitude ... just social drinking.
Then in rapid fashion (one month), my previous drinking pattern returned. Drinking by myself. Skipping out of work early to have the privacy to indulge. Hiding bottles from my wife. The same old story.
I wouldn't wish a relapse on anyone, but for me I think it was necessary. I can see now that moderation is not an option. I don't want to moderate. What I really want is to sit alone and drink as much as I can.
A new Day 1 begins today.
Thanks for taking the time to share.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by BriteBabyBlue
Hello,
I want to tell someone, mostly all of you on this forum, I have been sober for 30 days as of Sunday July 21st. Here are few of the many things I have noticed or thought about since I took my last drink.
No more - Waking at 2 am with a rapid heart rate and anxiety.
No more guilt, shame, and depression every morning because I drank the night before. I have been on anti-depressants for years, but now feel that the depressant effects of alcohol were counteracting my medication.
My kids can drink from my glass anytime now, they don’t have to ask if this is alcohol, I was constantly hiding it in various types of cups and then trying to keep them away from it.
My kids have not seen me drink in a month. My son told his Dad last weekend that Mom quit drinking, Dad said when, my son said about a month ago. My son is only 11 but told me he noticed it when I did not order a margarita at our favorite Mexican restaurant. My ex, who still drinks, confronted me several times now, wondering why I quit drinking, when, etc. I am not ready to discuss this with him. His body language, smirk, and tone already told me he didn’t think I could do it long term.
Now that my son and daughter know I have quit, I feel more accountable, and that is a good thing.
I have lost a couple pounds in the last month; feel lighter, clearer, cleaner, more focused and more enthusiasm for life. I want to do all kinds of things now I would not have before, mostly because I was so consumed with how I would do a certain activity or go on a trip and still drink every day. My interests in other things are coming back.
I have also felt lonely, different, and like I will not fit in (anywhere) any more. That’s funny because “trying to fit in” was one of the reasons I started drinking. I am wondering where, or how, or if I will ever, find non-drinking friends.
When I have been in social situations, or just around people in general, I have felt quiet and shy again, not as chatty without wine. In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.
At first I thought it seemed silly, an online support group, but I cannot tell you how much reading all the posts on here has helped me, motivated me, and inspired me. I could go on forever today, so thanks for reading this long post.
I want to tell someone, mostly all of you on this forum, I have been sober for 30 days as of Sunday July 21st. Here are few of the many things I have noticed or thought about since I took my last drink.
No more - Waking at 2 am with a rapid heart rate and anxiety.
No more guilt, shame, and depression every morning because I drank the night before. I have been on anti-depressants for years, but now feel that the depressant effects of alcohol were counteracting my medication.
My kids can drink from my glass anytime now, they don’t have to ask if this is alcohol, I was constantly hiding it in various types of cups and then trying to keep them away from it.
My kids have not seen me drink in a month. My son told his Dad last weekend that Mom quit drinking, Dad said when, my son said about a month ago. My son is only 11 but told me he noticed it when I did not order a margarita at our favorite Mexican restaurant. My ex, who still drinks, confronted me several times now, wondering why I quit drinking, when, etc. I am not ready to discuss this with him. His body language, smirk, and tone already told me he didn’t think I could do it long term.
Now that my son and daughter know I have quit, I feel more accountable, and that is a good thing.
I have lost a couple pounds in the last month; feel lighter, clearer, cleaner, more focused and more enthusiasm for life. I want to do all kinds of things now I would not have before, mostly because I was so consumed with how I would do a certain activity or go on a trip and still drink every day. My interests in other things are coming back.
I have also felt lonely, different, and like I will not fit in (anywhere) any more. That’s funny because “trying to fit in” was one of the reasons I started drinking. I am wondering where, or how, or if I will ever, find non-drinking friends.
When I have been in social situations, or just around people in general, I have felt quiet and shy again, not as chatty without wine. In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.
At first I thought it seemed silly, an online support group, but I cannot tell you how much reading all the posts on here has helped me, motivated me, and inspired me. I could go on forever today, so thanks for reading this long post.
Regarding your quote that I highlighted, I also use SR as my main support - can't say enough about how much it has helped me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Check out AA, same people we drank with , they are just sober now. Fun people. Instant companionship. People who understand us. people who laugh and enjoy life sober. people who do fun things each month. You don't have to be alone if you don't want to.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,994
Congratulations!!
30 days is a milestone to be proud of!
I relate to these comments:
When I have been in social situations, or just around people in general, I have felt quiet and shy again, not as chatty without wine. In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.[/QUOTE]
I think as we gain more confidence in ourselves without alcohol, that we will project that quiet assurance to others. We may learn to be present and really attend to what is going on in a social setting. I read somewhere that shy ppl aren't "good listeners" really, they're too preoccupied with a negative loop of inner thought to be able to pay attention in a conversation. I know I began to use alcohol to quell that inner convo.
Like you, I ended up being a nightly solitary drinker.
Well done, so happy your kids are proud of you!
30 days is a milestone to be proud of!
I relate to these comments:
When I have been in social situations, or just around people in general, I have felt quiet and shy again, not as chatty without wine. In the last month I have been so aware of how everything seems to revolve around alcohol. In my neighborhood subdivision its cocktails on the deck, festivals are all about beer tents and wine tasting, restaurants push their drink specials on you, no event with my circle of friends and family is without alcohol, ever. That is really no excuse for me though; I drank at home, alone, every night, as well as with others. It didn’t matter.[/QUOTE]
I think as we gain more confidence in ourselves without alcohol, that we will project that quiet assurance to others. We may learn to be present and really attend to what is going on in a social setting. I read somewhere that shy ppl aren't "good listeners" really, they're too preoccupied with a negative loop of inner thought to be able to pay attention in a conversation. I know I began to use alcohol to quell that inner convo.
Like you, I ended up being a nightly solitary drinker.
Well done, so happy your kids are proud of you!
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