Loella05

Hi, I am new and I need help. My husband is a functioning alcoholic. Lately he promised that he will stop after I set some new rules and he stopped drinking wild turkey and started having light beers instead, or so I thought. I noticed that his behavior had changed slightly but he was going to bed early pretending to be tired. Turns out, he was hiding his wild turkey behind his clothes and while I thought he was sleeping, he was drinking straight out of the bottle. I live in the middle of no where so no AA and no Al Anon groups for me. I want to know how to react to help him. I am tired of getting angry so I told him I knew he was hiding his bottles so he just changed spot after promising he would stop. What do I do? Do I ignore it, do I tell him I know, how can I help him when the closest hospital is 450ks away?

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about your situation. Trying to hide alcohol is very common among alcoholics. So is being unable to cut back or moderate.

What does your husband say when you suggest giving it up altogether?

There is a Friends and Family forum where you might get more targeted responses for your specific issues. Best of Luck!


Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

mecanix

One of the things i saw which i thought might prove useful to someone were the four c's.

"You didn’t cause it, You can’t control it, You can’t cure it. but, you don't have to contribute to it.”

Welcome to SR , you sound a real strong wife , he's lucky to have you on his side

Bestwishes, m

Lightning Bug

Quote of the day.
Simply awesome.

honeypig

Loella, I think you would benefit greatly from Alanon--consider one of the electronic meeting formats if you have already checked and found no face-to-face meetings near you.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetings

You may want to go take a look at the "Families and Friends" section of the forum for information that's more specific to your situation. Don't miss the stickied threads at the top of the page for a lot of educational reading.

Welcome to SR, and I hope you find as much help and support as I have here.

least

You can confront him about it but he won't change his ways unless he wants to. Nothing you can do can make him change. Only thing you can change is how you react to his behavior, how much you'll tolerate. Do check out the friends and family forum for additional insight.

Loella05

Thank you all the responses. He did start taking the pill that is meant to prevent you from wanting to drink but he still drank while on them which made it worst. Now he stopped the pills and said that he would do it by himself. He apologized for what he put me through and promised he will try to stop and will never lie to me but two days later he was back to hiding his alcohol and drinking behind my back. I don't know what do to, how to help him. I don't want to leave him but I can't help him either!

FeelingGreat

Hi Loella, I'm sorry for what you're going through. Even if there was an AA meeting near you, your husband would be unlikely to go unless he was committed to becoming sober. He's promising that he will stop or slow down, possibly believes he can, but isn't able to keep to that for a day.
I think I know the pills he was prescribed, as I took some for a short time and they didn't help me either.
I don't have any magic advice, but please stick around and read the material here. You can support your husband best by not doing anything to enable his drinking.

Dejvice

For many years my partner told me that alcohol was destroying my life and my families life. I listened but did not understand.

You can talk to him about it, but be prepared for a lot of promises been broken......promising to moderate, promising to stop after...etc. etc. An alcoholic has to reach his / her own decision to stop and with support it is possible.

FWIW I could never imagine my life without alcohol....never in a million years.....but now I am free from it, my life is my own, and my family has 100% of me.

Wishing you the best.

ru12

I think you need to decide what you want in your life. If you don't want to live with a drunk then make plans to get him out of your living space. Lots of people stop drinking because they don't want to lose loved ones. It is my experience that one doesn't necessarily have to want to stop for oneself... Some stop to save their family.

Wishing you peace.