CaseyW

I'm starting a new job as a server in a restaurant with a full-service bar on Thursday. I am worried about just being around alcohol and, more than that, being around the server/bartender lifestyle. I don't know anybody who works at this new restaurant so I don't have to worry about any old drinking buddies egging me on or anything and I should be able to just simply tell people from day one on the job "Sorry, I don't drink" if they ask me to go out.

I wish I thought I could just leave the restaurant/bar industry completely but it's all I've done for eleven years now so I don't really feel qualified for anything else. Also, I live in a city with a very high cost-of-living so I don't feel like I can afford to take an entry-level job at a grocery/convenience store or something like that.

So I guess what I'm asking is--does anyone here have any experience with working around alcohol in early sobriety?

doggonecarl

Working around alcohol doesn't mean you have to drink it. But I probably would have found it tough.

Great answer...will you be able to give that answer this early in sobriety?

RyanKelly

In my line of work, there is quite an "office culture" of drinking (i.e. evening parties/dinners/get-togethers) hosted by pharmaceutical sales representatives (drug reps) who are trying to get you to write rx's for certain drugs. While our professions are different, they intermingle quite a lot. These are usually held in really nice restaurants and money is no object when it comes to the bar tab. I must say that I have been pleasantly surprised by people in my year of sobriety. I haven't encountered anyone yet who was the least bit pushy when it came to my not drinking. People have said, "can I get you something to drink?", and when I said "no", that was it - end of discussion. I think the idea of having to come up with some elaborate excuse not to drink no longer has such a prominent place in the life of someone sober. Stand your ground and maintain your sobriety. It is much easier than you think!

Louise82

If you are able to say "Sorry, I don't drink" that's all you need. That's a complete sentence.

I know it's hard when you're starting a new job but keep working on your recovery. Keep investing time and effort in your sobriety. This will help keep you grounded and focused on your new, sober life as you work.

CaseyW

I hope so. It's my plan for now. Like I said, it helps that I don't already know any of these people I'm going to be working with so there's no drinking history with them. I also know that just voicing my fears out loud in here and with a couple of local guys in recovery that I'm working with is a big step for me. It's making me think ahead and plan on a sober course of action. Now it's up to me to stick to it.

That's my thought. I'm going to keep it simple. As I said in the my first post just a simple, "Sorry. I don't drink." Not "I don't drink anymore" or anything like that. I don't need to fill people in who aren't in recovery on my lurid drinking history, I just need to not drink today.

And having worked in many restaurants hosting pharmaceutical parties, I know how the drinking atmosphere pervades them. Very similar to behind-the-scenes at restaurants/bars actually.

Good advice Louise. Love the "That's a complete sentence" line.

I do know for sure that my sobriety is coming first this time. If the job becomes too much worry, I will find something else.

stevie88

Yep I work as a security guard for a football club...I also work nights and there is no one around so I could easily help myself to booze as I have access to over 50 bars....I do however know that If I take one drink I will end up losing everything so it's definatly not worth it.....No way I'm risking my job over a stupid pint of beer.....Steve.

ClearLight

I spent over a decade in the restaurant business. You're right - most folks drink.

You have a better chance if you start out establishing yourself as a non-drinker. The more people know it the better. And I advise you to say it like that - "I don't drink." If they ask why I would answer that alcohol screwed you over and you don't want to touch it any more. Just like that. My experience is that most folks in the restaurant business will know just what you're talking about.

Eventually you're going to have to leave the business though. You can't spend your life as a server. That has nothing to do with alcohol either. You just can't spend your life as a server. And when you leave you'll probably take a cut in income at first.

It's worth it though. You'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner. I had to declare bankruptcy in order to wipe out my debts when I quit. I never could have made it without doing that.

So, I'd consider making the break now and suck it up.

Either way - good luck.

Tang

I work in sales and go to similar parties and nice bars/restaurants. I have been encouraged by management to drink with my customers. It is the toughest part about my job.

CaseyW

All good advice and exactly what I was looking for when I posted this--experience from people who had been in similar situations in the past. I like your advice in the first quoted paragraph very much. Thanks for that.

I'm way too early in sobriety for me to start making specific goals about career/major life changes, I think that would be a case of putting the cart before the horse, but you're absolutely right re: a career change being necessary at some point. Bottom line is if I'm worried enough about handling yet another job in the service industry to post something in here and talk to some local folks in recovery about it, it's because I know deep down there's something to possibly worry about.

For now, I need a job desperately after three months of not working and letting my alcoholism run rampant, so I'm going to give this job a try. But I'll set definite boundaries from the start and at the first sign of trouble, I'm working on setting up a support network both here and in "real life" to help guide me to make the correct decision and to bale out if that's what I need to do to maintain my sobriety.