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Hi everyone...

Old 05-22-2017, 04:43 PM
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Hi everyone...

I caved last week and took a pill because my withdrawal was so bad. The person I got them from doesn't know about my problems with addiction and readily gave me a handful of Percocet. I feel like a jackass.

I took the last one 2 days ago and my withdrawal is insane right now. I've been in communication with my sponsor. I haven't slept and I've been on the couch sweating it out for the last 2 days.

I'm kind of hating myself for being such a continual f*** up. I want to stop so badly but every time the withdrawal gets bad enough I cave. Even if I call someone before using I still end up doing it. I think I might need to look into detox at this point because obviously I'm not having too much luck trying to stop by myself.
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Old 05-22-2017, 09:43 PM
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Supervised detox might be a good idea, KittenMittens. You have the will. You just need a little help.
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Old 05-23-2017, 12:47 AM
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Sounds like a good idea to me KittenMittens even if to give you the time out to think. What are you withdrawing from Kitten?
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Old 05-23-2017, 07:58 AM
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I have always found that treatment (when available) inpatient is gives me the best chance to get back up on my feet. Hope you will explore that option.

Don't feel badly about making a mistake, we all do and I have made that mistake many times. The important thing is to never give up, to just pull back into sobriety as quickly as you can.

Will be thinking of you today. Please keep us posted if you can.
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Old 05-23-2017, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Steely View Post
What are you withdrawing from Kitten?
I'm withdrawing from heroin. No fun at all lol.

Thank you for the kind words everyone.

I had a terrible day today. It seemed like all my drug buddies and connects came out of the woodwork today. I got so frustrated with people wanting rides and wanting to borrow my phone and all kinds of crap I felt myself snap inside...if that makes any sense lol.

I watched another friend go off to detox today and he was so ****** up and it just really got to me. I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm exhausted and just over it.

I did a mass blocking of people on my phone and Facebook (which I've done before and that didn't stop me, but I digress), and told my using friends that I'm trying to quit and to please not contact me about anything drug related.

I'm just fed up. And I'm rambling, sorry. I feel like I can't put coherent thoughts together I'm so frustrated with myself and the situation I've gotten myself into yet again.

I just got off the phone with my sponsor and im working on a new recovery plan right now and hopefully this time I'll stick to it. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Sorry for this long winded rant.
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Old 05-23-2017, 06:55 PM
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Don't apologizing for venting KM....we're here for you! I'm sorry you're struggling. It's great that your sponsor is working with you on a recovery plan. There's always hope KM...do not give up!

Hang in...
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Old 05-23-2017, 06:57 PM
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Hi KittenMittens.
Supervised Detox might be a good option for you. Going through the withdrawal hell once and then being done with it is so much better that repeated relapsing and having to go through it again and again. I feel for your suffering very much.
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