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Staying away is hard... Lonely!

Old 07-21-2013, 06:00 AM
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Staying away is hard... Lonely!

I have just started my recovery. I am a person that gets drunk without control twice a week and the rest of the days I spent recovering and feeling like sh****t. Everyone I know is from the bars or drinks socially ... They never ask you to a movie nor want to do something that doesn't involve alcohol. The past week has been so hard for me, I feel lonely and bored. I also know that if I go out I will end up in trouble and the vicious cycle will begin again.

But with all this turmoil inside of my head, I am very happy to have conquered the Friday night monsters... I win. One day at the time. I feel in control this minute and I can only hope that eventually I will find the support I need to keep going. I am planning on attending meetings but haven't found the courage to do it yet, I will have to face many demons in my life if I get into the 12 steps and I am afraid of getting depressed and going back to drinking. I use drinking to hide my feelings and cope with life and my past. Also drinking for me always led to something stronger, it is a trigger for drugs.

Advice is much appreciated... I need it.

Thanks for reading...
Silvy
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:11 AM
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There are many reasons to go to AA but one of them is the social aspect. You get to know and become friends with a lot of very cool who know how to party they just do it without drugs or alcohol
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:32 AM
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MIRecovery said it best.
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:39 AM
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When a person quits drinking, normally their list of friends will undergo quite a bit of revision. Successful recovery pretty much requires you to avoid your drinking buddies and often these are the only buddies you have. So, there is a social transition involved in sobriety; an abrupt loss of old (and often good) drinking buddies and a lonely spell while you make new, sober, friends. There are many things that can help: new hobbies are great; getting involved with a church can lead to new friendships as can involvement in political action groups; just going to the library and reading can be interesting and instructive; take a class or two at your local community college; sign up for an online course and work hard to ace it; the possibilities are numerous. As is often noted on this forum, quitting drinking it the easy part, changing the person who drank is much harder. It can be a lonely struggle at times but it is worth the effort. Best wishes.

Added in editing. There are several non-12-step programs that can help provide structure for your sobriety. Two that come to mind are AVRT and Lifering. If the idea of AA makes you uncomfortable, these are frequently recommended alternatives.
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:39 AM
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Welcome. Part of the terms you use are used a lot in AA. That big shite fairy will suggest all sorts of lies to keep us from abandoning alcohol which perhaps was a friend but eventually abandoned us and made us miserable. This sobriety thing is a process and takes that 4 letter word: TIME. Believe us it's well beyond worth it so Hang in and think positive. BE WELL
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:40 AM
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I think I will just show up and not worry about anything else... I really need support, alone I don't think I can do it. I feel so bad about my best friend she is an alcoholic and I have to tell her that I can't see her for a while. We drank together a lot and even her presence in my mind is a trigger...
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Silvy69 View Post
I think I will just show up and not worry about anything else... I really need support, alone I don't think I can do it. I feel so bad about my best friend she is an alcoholic and I have to tell her that I can't see her for a while. We drank together a lot and even her presence in my mind is a trigger...
This is a very wise thing to do. Sobriety is all about choices. each choice should be evaluated by the following statement. Is this choice moving me towards sobriety or away from it.

So hanging out with old drinking buddies is a choice that definitely moves you away from sobriety

YOU ARE A MIRACLE BECAUSE SO FEW EVER MAKE IT TO THE POINT YOU ARE TODAY
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Old 07-21-2013, 07:24 AM
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Thank you everyone.. I am going to take one day at the time and although it has been so hard, I know I am stronger today than I was yesterday, each day I am clean is a success. I am going to find other things to do once I get pass this funk I am in now.
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