taps928

Just read my first posts from August of last year. I was drinking one-half of 750ml bottle of Jack Daniels. Well, last week I drank every night and two of those nights I drank an entire 750ml bottle each night. I haven't had anything to drink today. The only commitment I can make is that I won't drink tonight before I go to bed. Beyond that, I am unreliable.

BigShoe

Don't drink. Good start.

Dee74

I really do believe alcoholism is progressive.

The really big question is what are you prepared to do to stop the progression and break the cycle taps?

D

IWillWin

Unreliable is a good word for us alcoholics. I know that it takes a lot of internal work in my head to not drink. I consider myself reliable in my life, just not if I have that first drink. If that happens all bets are off. It is like I am on auto pilot and can't control my actions no matter what good sense my brain may try to relay. The noise of the demon always drowns it out.

For this reason, I've chosen not to take that first drink for 11 months. And I make the same promise to myself every day. So far, it's working

Best of luck to you. Recovery and sobriety is possible if you are willing to put in the work.

mecanix

For me i prefer "beyond that nobody can divine the future" try not to beat yourself up in the things you say to yourself taps .

You're a good person with some problems, you can change it though .

The freedom of sobriety can be yours .

Bestwishes, m

least

I hope we can encourage you to stay sober.

rattus99

This ^

visch1

Hi. I believe I and a lot in recovery let the shite fairy that's in us and ready to send us back out there have too much control of our actions. If we don't want to drink deep inside ourselves it's doable IF we follow what other successful posters and AA members do. It's that simple, not everyday easy. Honesty and determination is a good start. BE WELL

MalkavianEmily

For a long time I was a binge drinker. And then, after an argument with people in an online guitar forum, and a couple of (non-alcohol related) trips to casualty and seeing the posters on the wall (and thinking that what they were saying couldn't possibly be relevent to me), and drinking with different friends, actually having just one (because of lack of time) and thinking 'Hey, I can drink like nice people.' I started to think that if I drank more often, I'd drink less when I did.
In a very short time I was drinking every day, and starting earlier. I'd drink on the way to the bus (just one, because I didn't give myself time for more. I'd stay just long enough to drink my pint and then go.) and (if the pubs were open) when I got to the other end. I'd drink coming back from the shops (Not on the way there, because I didn't want to get caught needing to use the toilet in the middle of nowhere). Pretty soon I was drinking almost as much every day as I had been drinking once in a while. And all the time I thought I'd got it sussed. I was wrong.
Today, I don't think of drinking very often. Today, I'm happy. My life is a whole lot better than it was.
I've had my slips. If I hadn't, I'd have 14 months. But equally, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have the acceptance I do now. The main thing I've learnt is not to beat myself up about them.

taps928

Pretty soon I was drinking almost as much every day as I did once in a while." EXACTLY! I so relate to that and at the same time it terrifies me.

Haven't drank today. Day 2. Didn't really commit to not drinking, but avoided the opportunity. Now I will commit that I will not drink before I go to bed tonight.

Oh jeez, the games I play with myself. Couldn't believe all the voices in my head today. Several voices but all were me. I am a very manipulative alcoholic. I manipulate others, I even manipulate me, all towards my daily goal of drinking. Today one of my crazy voices told me I can't go too long without drinking or people will expect me to not drink.

I can't think about tomorrow. Today I took it one hour at a time. Right now one day at a time looks like an eternity.

Thanks for being here.

escapist

I remember time standing still. I drank a lot. I was pretty impressed when I actually made a full day sober. You got a day and that is great

taps928

Well, here I am 6 AM on day 3. Had a rough night. Not much sleep and what I did get was disturbed by strange dreams.

I have an extra full day at work today. I work really hard and alcohol has always been a reward for working so hard. What kind of crazy thinking is that? Alcohol may have been a reward in the early days but, alcohol has been nothing but a punishment for a long time now.

My husband won't be home until a couple of hours after I get home. Those couple of hours have been my favorite drinking time. I'll have to find something different to do.

Today is the first day I can say I do not want to drink. The last 2 days I have wanted to drink but just didn't. I ask God for the strength to stay sober today.

I am being bombarded by my own thoughts. I had no idea I had so many crazy thoughts. I guess I need to change my thinking but right now I'll settle for not drinking, no matter how I do that.

Drinking a lot of water.

Sorry about rambling. But, it helps me to leave my crazy thoughts here.

I hope everyone has a nice day.

MIRecovery

On thing u can count on is that it only gets worse. Decide today is the day the insanity ends forever. Stop before you do something that can not be undone.


It can be done