Irishgamer13

I have been sober now just over 6 months and I have been working a program. I am 22 years old. Just got onto my 6th step... I have never in my life wanted to try control drinking even during the beginning of my recovery as much as i do now. Came here hopefully to get some advice or clarity.

I never wanted to try control drinking in the past so never did. Chose to go to rehab at the beginning of the year since it was either that or being kicked out. I don't really know how to describe my drinking, I never felt like I needed to drink I just wanted to. I was a binge drinker. I classified myself for a while before AA was in my life as a problem drinker. As long as I wasn't around it I have an easy time not drinking once its around me I feel like this both in sobriety and active.

I get the emotional ties and the selflessness ties to AA but a lot of the time I have trouble connecting on parts of the drinking stories I hear. I absolutely abused alcohol, I get that, and some days i believe that I couldn't ever stop when I started and others I blame my environment (college and frat life).

I hate intellectualizing about this cause i get in these arguments with myself. Part of me wants to try controlled drink part of me doesn't want to risk it. Anyone else ever struggle with this. I talk to my network and its hard to get clarity on it since I am so uncertain about things and most others in my network never wanted to try control drinking. So I am now expanding my network looking for help. Thanks for all who read and respond.

Irish

Cascabel

I tried controlling my drinking: it never lasted for more than a week. And, controlling my drinking (or trying to) was always a lot of work and interfered too much with my drinking. I think everyone here with a few miles on them will tell you the same thing.

Dee74

Welcome Irishgamer

I dunno - I reckon if you're a problem drinker, why not remove the problem?

D