I have 11 days, husband still drinks.
 

So, I'm on my second try (3rd or 4th if you want to count short amounts of time not drinking). It is so hard that my husband still drinks, has a problem, and will not see it or admit it. He cuts down a lot when I stop, but it is walking on thin ice and I hate it. He starts to get agitated a few beers in and after that I have to be so careful not to tick him off or he will just use it as an excuse to get drunk. I hate it! It's as if he is just looking for an excuse to drink more. Right now, he has had 2 and stopped. Now I wait for the other shoe to drop. I know you will all say that I should focus on myself, and I do and i will. I just wish he knew what control those beers have over him. He also makes such a big deal when he only drinks a few or skips a day, like he deserves a medal. His way of "proving" he doesn't have a problem. But when he is still getting hammered at least once a week, which he will do tomorrow because we have a gig and will be at a bar where people shove whiskey in his face, I call that a problem. He also gets angry when don't commend him for only drinking a few beers, saying I don't appreciate that he is cutting down. I feel like it is enough that we are both in an ok space and not fighting when neither of us are drinking. It's just so hard realizing that he will not stop any time soon because he doesn't think it is a problem. His dad is in his 70's and every time I see him in evenings he is drinking wine. he probably kills a bottle of chardonnay a night. His brother, who just had his first child, gets wasted constantly to the point where he is incoherent and passes out. in fact, my husband even told his brother that it was irresponsible and he needed to get his act together the last time we saw him. I suppose he has glimpses of reality every now and then.
The worst is when my husband gets annoyed with my not drinking and says I'm "no fun". Well, that was my rant for the evening...

My wife still drinks. She'll have 2-4 beers after work. I totally understand that agitation because my wife has that and I sure used to have it. It wouldn't go away until I had at least six in me. I try to sit my wife down, look her in the eye, and simply say "what's wrong ... talk to me". I guess now that I'm sober I have the patience for her. I realize that I can't control my wife nor would I want to. It's not about control. I just want to be well and I want her also to be well. That being said she has put up with a lot with me. I took some serious drugs over the years and I demonstrated some bizarre behavior.

I'm not even sure what I've said is germane to your post, but it's what came out. Forgive me if I'm way off the mark. It happens.

I don’t know, I would be tempted to tell him to drink as much as he likes. For him to be in a perpetual state of semi-withdrawal, with all the agitation that goes with it, seems a bit much. If he wants to quit, ok. If not ok, it’s not his time. Perhaps with time your example will convince him that there is a better way.

Songtx and Bruce292 you both have my admiration. I realize if I continue drinking I will go into a death spiral. Still if it was in my house I would have to dump it or I would drink it. I have over 5 months in and I still feel that way. I just don't know how people in early recovery can have access to it like that and turn it down.