6 days and want to use
 

I woke up today excited to be on day six and things have gone downhill since then. I went to a meeting and I wanted to share badly so that people could know I was a newcomer and I could get numbers and support but there was so many people I wasn't called on. At the end of the meeting I went to the chair and told her I needed some numbers bc I was new. There was a really awkward exchange and I got two numbers but it felt weird and forced. I left feeling really icky. I got home and a stupid situation happened with a guy I was seeing and since then I've had a strong urge to use. My stomach is in total knots, I feel sick. I haven't felt this way since I got sober. I contacted a sober friend and another who was formerly in recovery but I don't feel better. I journaled about it but I don't feel better. I work tonight (bartender) and I am terrified I will use. I feel like I have no support system and that I'm alone in this. I really have no idea what to do. Please help.

Please don't use. You have made it to day 6! That is an accomplishment!
Next time you are in the meeting, tell the chair you have a burning desire. You will be given priority in sharing. Please share with them. While you are talking, mention that you really need support and ask for numbers. In my experience, people jump up to give them. Where are you in FL?

Edit - how are you with being a bartender?

I feel for you Dusty. Wish there was something more I could do but offer my support here. Sorry your experience at the meeting was not more positive. That was similar to what I experienced about a year ago. I'm sure if you keep at it you'll find more positive results.

That is a tough job for someone trying to get sober. I really hope you stay strong and pull through day 6.

Hey hey Dusty. God job posting here! No wonder you're tied up in knots. Here you are going to a meeting and trying to do what you need to do for you..and you hit some roadblocks. It's not supposed to be like that. Then you add insult to injury by having some sort of emotional issue with a man. Of course you're feeling stress! That's normal. How you're feeling is a normal reaction of frustration. It's is a RIGHT feeling. It is not right to drown that feeling. It will pass...I guarantee it. You can do it...you're facing emotions and building sobriety muscle. It's unfortunate that you're emotions got taxed so early in sobriety...but HEY...here you are...getting on through it...and will be all the stronger for it. Acknowledge that "it sucks"...and its okay...and it will pass.

DustyBoots: Please don't use. As NuuDawn said above, you're on day 6 and that's a HUGE accomplishment!!! We're all extremely proud of you!!! You've hit a few not-so-happy moments, but IT DOES GET BETTER. Please go back and try to get that support again; let them know you need it. It's okay to need support. We all do. That's why we're all here, and we're all in this together. Also, I find, instead of dwelling on my addiction and on me trying to be sober, do things you love to get your mind off of whatever it is you're addicted to and to occupy time. Please hang in there. You're doing GREAT!!!

Thanks. I went and bought myself some earrings instead. Then I listened to metal and screamed a lot. I'm still sad but I'm not in knots. Work isn't a trigger bc I'm not used to drinking there anyway. It's hard because I don't have a support system yet but I feel a bit better.

You have US, dustyboots :) We won't leave you. Please check in with us, let us know how you're doing, ask us questions, rely on us, and we won't let you down :)

Glad you feel a little better DB :)
D

Awesome job on the earrings..the metal ...and the screaming ; ) So glad you checked back in. As Sobermarine says..."we're here". This community has saved my sobriety time and time..again. Stick around.

Good! Sometimes we get urges to use just because that nervous tension builds up and those cyclical thoughts conspire against us. Letting it out is an excellent choice!

call those two numbers you got.....

The next meeting you go to try and get there a lil bit early, talk to chairperson ,introduce yourself and your need for help and sharing,

For now, don't feel bad do something nice for yourself listen to nice calming soothing music, breath slowly and deeply for 10 minutes, go for a walk listen to the birds, have a cup of tea and watch a movie, when. Man loves a woman is a great girls one!!!! About an alcoholic wife hiding her alcoholism , but finding recovery.

Huge hug we are all here for you, today u have us u do not need any phon numbers

T

Don't do it!! I'm speaking from 6+ years in recovery and all using did for me was give m a temporary "don't give a f----" attitude, then remorse, shame, and suicidal thoughts came in because I felt so bad.

I don't go to meetings now, but I did (AA as they were much more frequent than NA) and I use what I learned there, every_single_day. My first meeting I was terrified. I smoke cigarettes, so I got to meet a few people before the meeting that were smoking.

I admitted to being a newcomer, I admitted to my addiction...though it wasn't alcohol, I needed help, and I hung around afterwards. I went to various meetings, hung around before and afterward. The "meetings after the meetings" were quite helpful.

The first meeting is scary as he!!, IMO. Throw in "guy problems" and it makes things worse. What I found out was that not only was I an A, I was a codependent!!!

Took many years, but I finally addressed both (not saying YOU are a codie, but it's quite common with us A's) and went through the "first meeting anxiety" with al-anon with more than 5 years in recovery.

We reach out, we find things that work, things that don't work, but we keep looking for those things that click with us.

My recovery is a bit of AA, a bit of Buddhism and Native American, and Christianity (the Buddhism and Native American I found here). I really don't care WHAT works, I just focus on what does. I do have to admit....AA? I work the steps in my own way, and it really does help. I'm grateful to those who adopted this lowly crackhead into the program.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

I somehow made it through the day without using. When I went into work a guy wrote a rude thing on a check, some old drinking buddies asked me to hang, and my coworker even offered me a drink yet I miraculously didnt use. Today was absolutely awful but it was better because I didn't pick up. I'm home now, safe, sound, and sober.

Thank you all for replying, it really did help when I felt like I had nowhere to turn.

Tomorrow. Is one whole week for you, hold on!!! I'm one week today. It's the weekend every one is drinking. It's hard but Im determined!

pm me anytime- I want to help I am in Florida too!