Lionhearted1

So I have been on and off sober this past year when sober my home life is calm relaxed peaceful as soon as I start drinking it all changes. My partner drinks a fair bit also and when iam sober I find it hard to connect I never realised even 1 bottle of wine changes someone makes them withdrawn and hard to communicate with. Anyways we have both had enough and I will be moving out, part of me is excited and full of hope for the future but another part is so scared that I will start drinking heavily again and start doing all the bad things I did before which I really don't want to do.

just wanted advice from anyone who has broken up whilst newly sober and how it was??

doggonecarl

No advice, just wishing you the blessings of sobriety. Drinking doesn't make anything better, not even the pain of a break up.

Notmyrealname

Breakups are sad, but getting drunk isn't on my list of coping mechanisms anymore so the two things are separate and unrelated. You really have to cordon off the alcohol problem thing, I think. There's a million good excuses to have a drink but no good reasons.

If I think of alcohol as either a coping mechanism (e.g., I drink when I am sad to help me deal) or a reward (e.g., I drink when I am happy, to celebrate!) I'll never make it. Life is made up of sad and happy events. I just had to understand that, face it, and embrace it (took awhile because of denial).

I'm doing that rhyming thing, like Andre the Giant in the Princess Bride.. ha

upandup

I'm sorry, Lionhearted. When I broke up with my boyfriend I finally got and stayed sober. That was almost six months ago. I had and still have a program. It can be done. What are you doing for your sobriety?

least

Breakups can be bad enough without adding drinking to the misery. Don't do it.

soberclover

My relationship has changed too as I'm sober and he is not....thinking of you during your tough time. Stay sober...you are worth it!

pattyj

I broke up with my boyfriend after about two weeks of sobriety. We were living together for more than six years. I was changing and he refused to support me. He even suggested I go back to drinking because that was easier to deal with then my being sober. I moved to my parents house, I'm thirty years old. I am in IOP, I have a sponsor and go to aa meetings. I am back in my hobby of roller derby, getting out of debt and am spending quality time with my family. It was painful to do but is the best decision I ever made. Good luck. Quitting drinking is just the start, we change our whole lives and its amazing!!