New to Board
 

Hi... I'm a 46 year old woman who endured 45 years of abuse. Most of my abusers, abused alcohol. My Therapist thinks I may benefit from joining a group, either in person or online. I think it is because I never blamed those who abused me. I loved them. It was their actions, made worse by their illness, that I had issues with. I blame myself for most things and forgive those who have hurt me. I have issues with self forgiveness, self love, etc. Anyhow, I'm not certain what I'm doing here only that my Therapist wanted me to check it out.

Thank you all for allowing me to join you all.

In Harmony,
MandyButterfly

Welcome. It is quite common, for women especially, to look to "self focused" remedy in dealing with life. It sounds like you suffered violations on both yourself and your soul. You cannot find blame in yourself when violated as a child...ya just can't. Forgiving someone is one thing. It is not letting their WRONG action dictate your journey. It does not include allowing them further access to you to harm you again. Self love is not allowing harm to come to yourself anymore. You cannot excuse people's behaviour for them and allow them continuing access to you.

Welcome Do you have a problem substance abuse yourself?

Welcome to SR MandyButterfly. I'm sorry for what you've been through, hope it helps to be part of our community.

Welcome MandyButterfly. I only joined SR 5 days ago and already feel part of the family. I hope that you stick around ... you will find you are not alone ... and hopefully allow yourself to self heal and self love.

:ring

shellbellz

I have Complex PTSD, DID, Stalkholm Syndrome, Panic Disorder and self harm/suicidal ideation.

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

You are so in the right place,I think even if your not a drinker or drug addict we all need someone to talk to or somewhere to go to feel like we belong,I'm bipolar and have PTSD from being gay and having to do five years in prison,it's a great place to connect, just a click away if you ever want to talk..good luck

That's a whole lotta bees in your bonnet : ) Although there's a lot to all that, self love...nurture is so very key. I know that for many years I really didn't grasp the concept of self love. I read or hear the term and think..ya I like myself okay whilst I continued to berate myself over every little thing, drink to wretched excess, set myself up to impossibly high standards, second guess my gut instincts, please others instead of myself, had difficulty saying no for fear of disappointing others or fear of what they thought of me....

Self love is a continuing action...be gentle with your thoughts...speak to yourself kindly...put your own well being first...do what you can for others but not at your own expense.