GottaGetBack

I first got sober in November 10'. I was sober for almost 18 months. It was a really good time. I made friends with so many great people. I had a life, and it was good. I needed to learn some things but nevertheless I had it pretty good. I had never been in better shape, and I worked out a lot. Then one night after several weeks of mild back pain after running, I tried my usual bench presses and my back was toast. I tried again the next day and it was burnt toast.

The pain was so excruciating that I wanted anything, ANYTHING but that, I would have, well, given up my sobriety for it. And I did. But I was pissed. I was so mad that after all the good I had done for myself, my reward was a debilitating injury. I couldn't work, couldn't go anywhere, I was trapped and I hid away. I began to resent AA because none of my sober friends called to see how I was.

Well I'm here to say I don't want to throw away my life because I got hurt, it's my sobriety that I should have held above all else. And besides, I just got healthcare, so I should be able to get my back fixed.

So in anticipation of my restored health, (and of course the fact that I'm about to lose my job, my internship, my apartment, and my license if I don't get sober NOW) I'm desperate to get sober and have an amazing life again.

I'm afraid that tomorrow I'll wake up and the desperation will be gone. So I've posted this here in hopes that I can get up tomorrow and read some responses that will help me stick around.

Dee74

Welcome gottagetback - as long as you have the fire, you'll find a lot of support here

D

Tamerua

Welcome back! Are you going back to AA as your recovery plan or are you going to try something different?

GottaGetBack

I moved to a much smaller town (from San Francisco) and have opted to do online (SMART) meetings for now. I want to get sober so badly that I'm not willing to wait for things to get worse. Because if I lose my job I'll have time to skateboard three miles to a meeting.

MidnightBlue

Hi, GottaGetBack.

Welcome back to sobriety. Sorry about what happened.

Life seems to be bloody unfair sometimes, I can relate to that feeling when the question "why?!!" keeps turning in head. Well, anyway, drinking just makes any situation worse and deprives us of hopes for better future and achieving our goals.

You are doing great coming back here, posting, asking for help and fighting for your sobriety and life. Go back to basics - one day at a time. Don't listen to AV - your life is at stake here.

SR is a great source of support, so post here as often as you can, read - it helped me a lot in early sobriety.

And never give up - you'll get you life fixed if stay sober, I'm sure. You sound quite strong to me.

Take care and keep posting.

visch1

Hi. I understand your pain and how it affects our thinking. That said where does it say that when we stop drinking our life will be wonderful forever? We get better along with many things but life happens! Resentment of AA I don't think will help anything except perhaps ****** your recovery. Don't know if you told any of your friends what your going through, it might help, because in our nature "we can handle this our self" is a strong male trait. Remember for AA or anything to work we need to be honest with ourselves. BE WELL

soberclover

Your post was a good reminder to me about how much loss there really is with drinking. Time takes time don't forget

MIRecovery

Do what you did to be successful the first time. It will work again

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!! We have a lot of people here using various recovery methods. Mine is a bit of this, a bit of that, a LOT of what I've learned from others at SR. I wish I had gotten clean before I lost my nursing career, but I didn't.

It hasn't been easy, but it's definitely worth it. I'm embarking on a new career, have a long list of good references, but I wouldn't be doing any of this if I didn't have recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Tamerua

That's wise! You sound like you want it, now it's time to focus.

GottaGetBack

Where does it say everything will be wonderful when I get sober? In my heart and mind. This is my life and my sobriety. Thanks for all your posts, you helped me get a day, goodnight.

Louise82

Welcome to SR, GottaGetBack, and congrats on your first day. It's great that you've made the decision to get your sober life back and that you're taking actions towards that end. I'm also glad you're getting healthcare and will be able to get your back fixed.

Pamel

GottaGetBack

Sober is the only way, and it is Day 2 for me-same distress. i am aiming for the weekend sober. Thanks for posting...