My journey started yesterday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
My journey started yesterday
Yup – yet another drunkard hoping that reaching out will help my hopeful journey to sobriety :-) Perhaps writing about it may help me through this.
About me? 41 year old male. Gainfully employed. Beautiful wife. 13 year old twin boys heading into high school. Two dogs. Lovely house. Nice vacation cabin in the woods.
Sheesh – when I write it out what on earth would drive me to become the raging alcoholic that I am?
Been a party-type guy since I can remember. Did plenty of drugs as a teenager. Should have gotten into TONS of trouble but always seemed to never get caught.
My drinking (at least consistent drinking) began about 12 years ago. Started with beer. Progressed to rum and cokes all the way to my beverage of choice now – vodka, lime and water. My wife was slow to get on my schedule but over the course of time has unfortunately developed a problem of her own although not nearly as severe as me.
I can easily put down 8-10 shots a night, go to bed, wake up at 6:30 am and function well at my job. It’s really quite remarkable. Definitely an acquired “skill”.
Long story short (and boy do I mean long) yesterday was the culmination of 3+ months of mental preparation to begin my journey to sobriety. It’s simply time. I promised myself I would no longer drink by the time my kids reached high school and one way or another I am going to keep this promise to myself.
I think if I went cold turkey I might have issues so for the first 3 nights I will have two drinks to hopefully prevent health problems. Then for the following 3 nights one drink. If I start to experience any issues I may need to see a doctor. My body has not been “deprived” of alcohol for many many years. If I can get through those 6 days I should be good to go cold turkey.
I am more committed to this than anything I have ever done in my life.
It’s time – wish me luck :-)
About me? 41 year old male. Gainfully employed. Beautiful wife. 13 year old twin boys heading into high school. Two dogs. Lovely house. Nice vacation cabin in the woods.
Sheesh – when I write it out what on earth would drive me to become the raging alcoholic that I am?
Been a party-type guy since I can remember. Did plenty of drugs as a teenager. Should have gotten into TONS of trouble but always seemed to never get caught.
My drinking (at least consistent drinking) began about 12 years ago. Started with beer. Progressed to rum and cokes all the way to my beverage of choice now – vodka, lime and water. My wife was slow to get on my schedule but over the course of time has unfortunately developed a problem of her own although not nearly as severe as me.
I can easily put down 8-10 shots a night, go to bed, wake up at 6:30 am and function well at my job. It’s really quite remarkable. Definitely an acquired “skill”.
Long story short (and boy do I mean long) yesterday was the culmination of 3+ months of mental preparation to begin my journey to sobriety. It’s simply time. I promised myself I would no longer drink by the time my kids reached high school and one way or another I am going to keep this promise to myself.
I think if I went cold turkey I might have issues so for the first 3 nights I will have two drinks to hopefully prevent health problems. Then for the following 3 nights one drink. If I start to experience any issues I may need to see a doctor. My body has not been “deprived” of alcohol for many many years. If I can get through those 6 days I should be good to go cold turkey.
I am more committed to this than anything I have ever done in my life.
It’s time – wish me luck :-)
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Glad you're here!! I got 5 years of drinking on ya at 46. If you can get through the work hours without the DT's..pretty sure you could just knock it off completely. I did and had no physical withdrawal..not even insomnia. I'm no expert..no medical professional..so I guess that's a better place for advice in that regard. Good luck with the "two shots" a nite method though. I really do want it to work for you. Stick around...lots of support and wisdom here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 135
Hello,
I usually drink that much a night too and I'm a 5'3" young woman. I'm on day 2 of tapering down, but i'm giving myself 2 weeks to lead up to total sobriety.
I wish you luck. No shame in seeing a doctor if it gets too hard. He may have advice or a medical option that can make it more comfortable for you.
I usually drink that much a night too and I'm a 5'3" young woman. I'm on day 2 of tapering down, but i'm giving myself 2 weeks to lead up to total sobriety.
I wish you luck. No shame in seeing a doctor if it gets too hard. He may have advice or a medical option that can make it more comfortable for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the support and certainly offer mine to you!
Per my plan (which may very well be simple procrastination) I had one drink at 9pm, 1 drink at 10pm and then headed off to bed at 11pm.
Wasn’t sure what to expect regarding sleep. It’s been SOOO many years since I have not gone to bed at the least quite buzzed.
To my surprise I fell asleep rather quickly. Then I woke up at 1am and was drenched in sweat (gross I know). I pulled the covers back and was actually rather cold. Well – that was it for sleep. I tossed and turned. I was comfortable but I knew I was not getting another minute of good sleep. I fell into these sort of day dreaming like states but they lasted for maybe 5-10 minutes and I knew I was still awake.
Overall – a really crappy night but that is to be expected. Still committed to the plan. 2 more nights of 2 drinks then 3 nights of 1 then it’s cold turkey time.
Funny thing is I am less effective today than if I would have been if had 10 drinks. Go figure.
I am guessing tonight will be a HUGE challenge as I know my ticket to sleep lies in that damn bottle.
Per my plan (which may very well be simple procrastination) I had one drink at 9pm, 1 drink at 10pm and then headed off to bed at 11pm.
Wasn’t sure what to expect regarding sleep. It’s been SOOO many years since I have not gone to bed at the least quite buzzed.
To my surprise I fell asleep rather quickly. Then I woke up at 1am and was drenched in sweat (gross I know). I pulled the covers back and was actually rather cold. Well – that was it for sleep. I tossed and turned. I was comfortable but I knew I was not getting another minute of good sleep. I fell into these sort of day dreaming like states but they lasted for maybe 5-10 minutes and I knew I was still awake.
Overall – a really crappy night but that is to be expected. Still committed to the plan. 2 more nights of 2 drinks then 3 nights of 1 then it’s cold turkey time.
Funny thing is I am less effective today than if I would have been if had 10 drinks. Go figure.
I am guessing tonight will be a HUGE challenge as I know my ticket to sleep lies in that damn bottle.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I could have written almost exactly the same story ( in fact I think I have a few times here! ) . Good family, good job, good kids, etc..but drank pretty much my entire adult life.
You've made a great decision you won't regret. The SR forum is a great place for support, which is imperative. Have you considered any local support at all? AA or man of the secular recovery methods have face to face and online meetings as well. As has already been mentioned, simply "not drinking" is generally not a very succesful sobriety plan. Learning to live sober is much harder than the initial withdrawals ( although during withdrawals it doesn't seem that way! ).
One word of caution- many have tried the "taper" method you describe, and in general it doesn't work well. It's just as hard to taper as it it to actually quit. And if you find that you have physical dependance, the withdrawals can be just as sever after a day with 1 beer as after a day with a dozen shots. You might consider just seeing your doctor right away and get advice on what they can do to help ahead of time.
Either way, best of luck and please stay around and keep us informed of your progress!
You've made a great decision you won't regret. The SR forum is a great place for support, which is imperative. Have you considered any local support at all? AA or man of the secular recovery methods have face to face and online meetings as well. As has already been mentioned, simply "not drinking" is generally not a very succesful sobriety plan. Learning to live sober is much harder than the initial withdrawals ( although during withdrawals it doesn't seem that way! ).
One word of caution- many have tried the "taper" method you describe, and in general it doesn't work well. It's just as hard to taper as it it to actually quit. And if you find that you have physical dependance, the withdrawals can be just as sever after a day with 1 beer as after a day with a dozen shots. You might consider just seeing your doctor right away and get advice on what they can do to help ahead of time.
Either way, best of luck and please stay around and keep us informed of your progress!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by DrunkenBob 
Funny thing is I am less effective today than if I would have been if had 10 drinks. Go figure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Have you considered any local support at all? AA or man of the secular recovery methods have face to face and online meetings as well. As has already been mentioned, simply "not drinking" is generally not a very succesful sobriety plan. Learning to live sober is much harder than the initial withdrawals ( although during withdrawals it doesn't seem that way! ).
I informed my doctor about my problem and he would only consider prescribing something if I enrolled in one of their programs. It was a outpatient program that required at least 2 weeks off work. VERY difficult for me. This will be my next option if all doesn't go well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Scotland UK
Posts: 122
Hello DrunkenBob, you have come to a great place here and I'm sure that you will find the advice and support that you may find yourself needing at points along your journey. Like you, I did some substantial mental preparation for quitting drinking. I finally took the plunge on June 21st. I got to 8 days of sobriety - I felt amazing; physically, mentally, emotionally... Then there was this social obligation and I thought I could have 1 drink. I couldn't have been more wrong. I went straight back to drinking every night immediately. Back to the mental preparation for my next try...
This is my 3rd attempt in 4 weeks. I have learned that I cannot be complacent with my sobriety. I now know that I cannot be around certain people and I definitely cannot be around alcohol, for now anyway. I can identify more of my triggers and I know I need to fill the empty space that my drinking has left behind with something positive.
I wish you all the very best on your journey, and hey, if you get to day 6 -re your plan, maybe you should change your username to SoberBob
Good luck and best wishes
This is my 3rd attempt in 4 weeks. I have learned that I cannot be complacent with my sobriety. I now know that I cannot be around certain people and I definitely cannot be around alcohol, for now anyway. I can identify more of my triggers and I know I need to fill the empty space that my drinking has left behind with something positive.
I wish you all the very best on your journey, and hey, if you get to day 6 -re your plan, maybe you should change your username to SoberBob
Good luck and best wishes
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
[QUOTE=DrunkenBob;4074584]I did attend an AA meeting about a year ago with a friend who is also struggling. It was definitely not for me. Just personal reasons I guess. QUOTE]
AA has helped millions even when they were full of fear about going. Part of the fear is a need of self improvement, meaning looking at ourselves honestly and many of us find that scary. It's said it's a simple concept for complicated people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
BE WELL
AA has helped millions even when they were full of fear about going. Part of the fear is a need of self improvement, meaning looking at ourselves honestly and many of us find that scary. It's said it's a simple concept for complicated people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
so what is the time and date of your last drink I'm saying this just to keep you honest with yourself
If I could just sleep tonight - I think I would be fine.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Bob - I too mentally prepared for sobriety. I knew it was time before alcohol robbed me of just more than my dignity and self worth. So I planned, had a blowout b'day weekend, and just took the plunge. No tapering. Cold turkey.
I made it without DT's or seizure but all the other symptoms reared their ugly heads - sweats, brain confusion and fog, general feeling of having the flu, and exhaustion like I've never experienced in my life. But, I did it. And once it was out of my system I swore I would never do that again. It was scary and awful and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I knew to get where I wanted I had to suffer the pain, and I did.
As others have said, living sober is the hardest part. I had to learn how to deal with life and reality with a clear head. No escape. So I went to work on that and have been ever since.
I'm 11 months in a week or so...and I can tell you it is the best thing I've done for myself ever. May I also say that I am an adult child of an alcoholic, and you are giving your children the greatest gift. My parent didn't get sober until I was 20 and the damage was well done by then. I wish you strength and success...welcome and reach out if you struggle!! Good luck and best wishes!!!
I made it without DT's or seizure but all the other symptoms reared their ugly heads - sweats, brain confusion and fog, general feeling of having the flu, and exhaustion like I've never experienced in my life. But, I did it. And once it was out of my system I swore I would never do that again. It was scary and awful and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I knew to get where I wanted I had to suffer the pain, and I did.
As others have said, living sober is the hardest part. I had to learn how to deal with life and reality with a clear head. No escape. So I went to work on that and have been ever since.
I'm 11 months in a week or so...and I can tell you it is the best thing I've done for myself ever. May I also say that I am an adult child of an alcoholic, and you are giving your children the greatest gift. My parent didn't get sober until I was 20 and the damage was well done by then. I wish you strength and success...welcome and reach out if you struggle!! Good luck and best wishes!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 729
Welcome and good luck DrunkenBob. You have a great attitude so just stay committed. Be patient with the first couple of weeks withdrawals then after that you will start to see the benefits Keep posting your progress and reading on SR to assist with your recovery.
Keep posting your progress and reading on SR to assist with your recovery.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
Thanks again everyone for the words of encouragement.
It's 5:51 pm here and you all know what that means :-)
Hoping my wife is abstaining tonight to make things easier. I am actually just considering going cold turkey tonight.
I feel good about it and I'm a little less worried about DTs etc.
It's 5:51 pm here and you all know what that means :-)
Hoping my wife is abstaining tonight to make things easier. I am actually just considering going cold turkey tonight.
I feel good about it and I'm a little less worried about DTs etc.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Good for you, you're taking the first big step! Good job.
Hmm, 41 years old, 8-10 shots a night . . Sorry to bear the bad news, but it might be a few days or more before you're getting sound sleep. But remember: this, too, shall pass.
For me it always starts improving (albeit slowly) after that first 72 hours.
Good luck!
Hmm, 41 years old, 8-10 shots a night . . Sorry to bear the bad news, but it might be a few days or more before you're getting sound sleep. But remember: this, too, shall pass.
For me it always starts improving (albeit slowly) after that first 72 hours.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Bob. Welcome to SR! I can relate to a lot of your story. The good news is that coming here proved to be exactly what I needed. The support and insight was a huge help. Reading up on something called AVRT helped a lot too (you can find threads on that in the secular connections forums of SR if you're interested). I haven't had a drink in two and a half years, and am totally at peace with not drinking. So as far as I'm concerned, coming here is a very promising sign indeed—you are going to be so glad you did this!
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