Tom1949

I have always believed in my higher power. The problem has always been the stuff I was taught as a child in catholic school keeps coming between me and my higher power.
I have been working the big book, praying,and going to meetings and these keep me away from a drink but now I need more. I want my higher power in my life 24/7. Please don't tell me what to do instead tell me what you did. I know there is not much difference between the two, but this alcoholic learns best by other alcohols experiences.
Thank you. Tom1949

Mark75

I found that as I developed my own concept and relationship with my higher power I began to see that the language in the scriptures was not inconsistent... just evocative of what we see in pictures and paintings and stuff... so a complete rework of my approach to catholic dogma... with a very open mind... has brought the stuff I was taught into focus and and new relevance.

aasharon90

Thanks for sharing Tom1949.

I was raised Catholic, brought up with
Catholic education and still consider
myself Catholic but don't attend church
any longer. However, my faith in God
of my understanding has not changed
even when I entered Recovery 22yrs.
ago.

I'm no holy roly and I can't recite the
bible. However, I still remember those
childhood Catholic Prayers taught to me
early on.

When I began my recovery journey I
knew thru the steps that believing in
a Higher Power would become an important
part of my own recovery and was glad
to have that strength, care and guidance
on my side.

Using the AA recovery tools and knowledge
handed to me while in rehab for 28 days, I
learned about the Step prayers mentioned
in the Big Book of AA that I could learn and
say each day I remained sober. I also was
given a little black 24 Hours a Day prayer
book with thoughts of the day and a prayer
added.

I used those tools, those prayers and memorized
them to the best of my ability so I could have
and say them where ever I was at anytime. Even
at night when I lay my head down I can say those
prayers before I drift off to sleep.

Reciting prayers, talking to your HP,
communicating to Him, feeling His
presence in the car next to me while
driving, knowing He is always with me
so I never feel alone has helped me
stay sober one day at a time for the
past 22 yrs.

For me, it takes practice staying in touch
with my HP. Sometimes when things in
life happen or im upset I realize that my
spirituality is not strong at that moment
and that I left it down the road somewheres.

Practice praying daily allows me to keep
my HP close to my heart, in my mind, and
to never ever feel alone.

I appreciate and feel blessed to have been
brought up with my Catholic education because
my faith is much stronge today because of it.

He has always been with me from the day I
was born to all the inbetween times, to today
watching over me and guiding me with each
sober step I take.

MIRecovery

The more I chased my HP the farther away it got. When i just let it happen I began to see my HP all around me

Nuudawn

Hey Tom..although my background is Catholic (meaning it was the family faith when there was one...not really in my lifetime though), I have only really started exploring Christianity this year. I tried joining a church but I felt overwhelmed with folks giving me directions and trying to define my relationship with God for me. I now look at my relationship with God as a deeply personal one...almost like a new relationship that I need to spend time with alone..get to know...feel solid in myself before venturing out with it. Don't know if that makes sense. My God is with me when I want to talk..anytime and anywhere. I get mad at him sometimes..and He forgives me...cuz well, it's that intimate lol. Are you familiar with Christian authors Donald Miller or Ann Lamotte? I got a wonderful sense of connection from them. I highly recommend a book called "Looking for God Knows What" by Donald Miller. It's wonderful book, that got me laughing first and foremost. I tell ya...you make me laugh and I will drink (or at least taste) just about any Kool Aid : )

Tom1949

I am beginning to really feel the power of hp. What bothers me is having the old doctrine get in the way. For instance when I pray I see a picture of God like the ones I saw in school.i know my hp is much more than some lame picture drawn on my prayer book. It reminds me of trying to remember someone's name and the wrong name keeps coming to mind.
Well anyway things are getting better.......thanks to you guys
Tom1949

aasharon90

For me I love the pictures we grew up
with and learned about as a child. Im
not for certain if those picture are really
what He looks like, but I'll take it.

I have pictures of Him in different settings,
like Him with a little girl or little boy sitting
near Him or on His lap under a tree and I
imagine that little girl is me.

I'd give anything if that could and would be
me with Him. It's that feeling I have within
me that is so awesome to know in my heart
that I truly believe He was and is for real.
That one day, God Willing, I will meet Him
one day.

Of course He knows my situation with people
and neighbors and Im thinking He may have
a house at the end of a street to have all to
myself, no neighbors and no one to bother me....lol
I'll be there in my own little corner of the world
tending to my gardens.

I have to share with you that spirituality grows
with us each day we stay sober and turn our
will and life over to our HP as we understand Him.
As long as I live a recovery program consisting of
steps and principles and not forgetting the 10
commandments I was taught in my own Catholic
up bringing then im blessed and sober.

All I know is.....God Could and Would if He were
sought.

Of course, each individual has their own concept
of a Higher Power and by no means would I ever
push my faith and beliefs on another.

I don't think less of anyone who is not of my
own faith.

Louise82

Hi there, Tom. I already believed in God when I came to AA but my sponsor suggested I ask people in meetings how they worked step 2, which is the first step to mention a HP. So I did that and it was very helpful. So I'd suggest sharing in meetings what you've shared with us here. I'm sure they'll be people at your meetings who also had a Catholic upbringing and can share their stories with you about how they came to find a HP of their own understanding.

Tom1949

I love the way you feel. I found aa in 2002 went to meetings 5 days a week a nd stayed sober. I stopped going to meetings and three years later went out again. I think I failed because i was a two stepper. That is why I am seeking my hp big time
Thank you
Tom1949

MsJax

Tom, hi . I am not at all religious but the way I see my hp in sobriety is that it is my life force. The energy of the Universe. And in sobriety I have learned that (for me) it is an insult to, and disrespect of, my Life Force to be a drunk. That is what I did, & I don't really know how it came to me. I think it came in my intense gratitude I have to be alive after my relapse that lasted over 4 years. I'll never get over it. (the thankfulness)

Tom1949

I do feel better than I have in my life. Just two days ago I was lost and In a lot of pain because my relationship with my wife. I did not get the urge to drink but I decided to take my phone number and call and ask them to pray for me. I told them I wanted to get closer to my hp so the decision I made would be the right ones for the right reasons. I don't want to be dramatic but the change was instant and awesome
Thanks
Tom1949

MIRecovery

I know this does not help but I still have problems reconciling my church higher power with my AA higher power. The two coexist fairly happily but I tend to lean on the teachings of Jesus much more than I do the teachings of the Church

Tom1949

Wow. I have gotten some great replies. I can't believe I felt so bad just two days ago. Once I gave up and accepted Gods will for me the pain was lifted. I feel like a 25 year headache was taken away. This was my miracle. Thank you
Tom1949

aasharon90

It's a wonderful feeling from head to toe
when we have that special emotional,
spiritual connection to our Higher Power
as we understand Him.

Like I mentioned earlier about not being
a holy roly but do have a strong faith in
my HP or God, Jesus, that I learned growing
up with.

I can go outside even tho it is hot here in
Baton Rouge, and feel a breeze here and
there, especially at dawn before the first
bird sings, and can feel the presence of
Him in the air around me. I can look to
the heavens and just smile within, thankful
to be sober to enjoy the gifts right there in
my backyard.

The trees, flowers, the smallest little creature
crawling to all the pretty Cardinals, Blue Jays,
Doves, Hummingbirds, butterflies etc, all sporting
their coats of many vibrant colors and so on.

Life will always have its ups and downs and
ive had my share of them and im sure there
will be more to come, but, just having those
tools and knowledge of a recovery program
and a faith in the Man upstairs to guide me,
then Im sure I can handle just about anything
it throws at me and not have to drink over them.

To also know that there is nothing in this
world I ever have to handle on my own
again is totally comforting. There is always
someone somewhere's that has been there
or done that to share their own ESH with me
and give me help.

With all that in recovery, I should not have
any reason to pick up a drink today.

You either Tom.

visch1

Hi. Many alcoholics are turned off with the words Higher Power for various personal reasons like yours and mine which were similar. When I came around it was said to "Just believe that we Believe". Religious beliefs in my area are seldom spoken of so I'm not offended in that direction as I believe and feel if it works and you believe, GREAT. To this day, 30+ years later I still have a strong resistance to all organized religion. However my Higher Power is and has been Mother Nature. Wondrous and all inspiring to me along with the Native American appreciation of the Great Spirit. BE WELL

WhoDey

I've read Anne Lamott, but not Donald Miller. I'll check out the book recommendation.

One book that helped me early on was "Finding Your Religion: When the Faith You Grew Up with has lost its Meaning" by Scotty McLennan (he was the real life inspiration for the Rev. Scotty Sloan character in the Doonesbury cartoons).

I found a tremendous amount of wisdom in books from others who had walked this same path. Keep your mind and heart open and keep searching!