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Hey everyone! I just joined. I'm only on day 3 of sobriety but for once I would love for this to be the time that I don't back slide! I can't count how many times I've said I'm quitting but within a few days I'm drinking again and denying the fact that I have a problem! Would love any advice you have on staying sober and learning how to be in social settings without drinking! Thanks!

Hi Mistical :)

to be honest I stayed away from social settings for a while - at least those revolving around alcohol.

I needed a break to grow my sobriety muscles. When I was sure that mnothing or noone could sway me, then I was right to go anywhere.

Think about other social things you can do that don't involve alcohol in the meantime maybe?

It took a few months but those few months were a great investment in my recovery.

D

Hi Mistical,

Day 3 was a tough one for me, too. I would start to feel better and begin drinking again, of course with the intention of controlling it this time. Trust me, you can get to Day 4 and 5 and it will get easier and you will feel better.

Hi Mistical! :) I agree with Anna - get past that first few days and it starts to get easier. It's normal to feel strange in the beginning, but it all settles down as you begin to heal.

We're glad you found us. You can get used to doing things without alcohol and learn to love no hangovers, no worrying about things you said, etc. It got to be exhausting in the end for me - it was much simpler to just stop than to keep playing with it. Sounds like you're ready for this big change - you can do it. :)

It sounds like you recognize a pattern in your prior relapses. Plan ahead to interrupt that pattern this time. It's a challenge, it takes effort, planning, scheming, and execution.

I would stay home for a few weeks at least, if it's an option. Just spend the time getting back to health and getting back in touch with sober You. Maybe pick up a long-term hobby or activity that you can make progress in over time. Drinking doesn't make for much long-term planning. The "getting better at something" is a nice feeling that makes me appreciate sobriety and not miss being a drunk.

Hello Mistical...welcome.
I know that when I first decided to knock off the drinking, I made a list of about a dozen things I could do if I really wanted to drink...posting here was one of the dozen, as was going to an AA meeting (again) if it came to that. This is not something you simply "snap out of" really. You need preparation and planning and support. There will be good days and bad days...joy and terrible moments. For me I focus on the now...and facing each situation that arises...sober. I just have to get through the "now". I don't think too much about tomorrow...nor dwell on the past. I fight the moments...one by one.

Hmm, tips you ask? All I can do is tell you what's been working, and working well for me...

- Don't drink.

- Take it one day at a time. Don't worry about staying sober next week, or tomorrow even... Just stay sober today.

- Attending AA meetings. Listening/sharing helps.

- Getting a sponsor. If you go the AA route, they're not lying when they tell you to get one.

- Reading my "Big Book". Even if you decide AA isn't for you, it's still a great read.

- Working steps. Skepticism is in my nature (I'm an alcoholic... Apparently we have high levels of this). The sponsor wasn't fibbing; I feel better with each one.

- Avoiding the high-pressure situations which triggered my drinking in the past.

- Prayer. I'm NOT a religious person, but prayer definitely has a calming effect. If nothing else, it can be the one (or more) peaceful conversation of the day.

- Developing new, sober acquaintances. There are several younger guys in my Wednesday night group who're VERY friendly and very like-minded. Makes it easy knowing that they've been in that awkward phase of not being used to talking to strangers when sober.

- HAVE FUN! My tendency is to either dwell in the past or worry about the future. However, I've actively been forcing myself to focus on the here-and-now, and it's pretty awesome to actually experience life, rather than relive it or worry about it.

- Working out. I've always loved it, but have been lax for a long time with it. Getting back into it gives me some drive. In the past, I've drank heavily when into the fitness kicks, and now I have my competition: ME. If I could achieve good things with booze, I can rock it without.

- Quotes / Analogies / Mantras... These often appeal to my nerdy/logical side. Or at least if any of those dark thoughts start creeping back into my head, they serve as a mental reminder of what I'm doing.

Thanks so much for the advice! Sounds like I need to hermit up for a bit! Which is fine because I love to run & read and I can just put more focus into that. I've gone to AA once in the past but felt very out of place. It was mainly all older men (who were extremely nice) & the room was completely filled with smoke. Maybe I should see if their are meetings in surrounding communities!

Mistical...Keep in touch with SR , especially the Class of July thread (there is a new thread each month for newcomers) and the 1 year and under club...

Jim

Hi Mistical, yep, couldn't agree with what Dee said here more. I am on five months now and although I am better at handling social situations where there the booze is flowing, I really only put myself in those situations if I absolutely have to (i.e. work). Otherwise, I just kind of stay clear. I put way too much time and effort into getting here that it is so worth it to make sure I have "my sobriety muscles" before risking it. I am not planning to hide forever but the first few months are indeed critical and you don't want to mess around.

I had the same experience with AA initially. I love the old-timers but the first group I went to was full of men that quit drinking before I was even born. Their advice is invaluable but, to feel comfortable, I needed more people "like me." I tried about six different AA meetings and finally found the two I go to now. I love them and it has been absolutely key in my sobriety along with a daily presence here on SR. So definitely check out a few more meetings til one or two feel right to you.

So glad you joined us and good luck on your journey...it is SO WORTH IT!

:)

:welcome seek out individuals who are like-minded with living sober.

Welcome mistical,, your in good company here. Keep putting days between you & your last drink.
Ando.