Goldwing

Hello folks - I'm new to the site today. And yes I have a big o'l story and would like input. it's been a long month hard week and tough day. Thanks for all the great information that others have already provided. I've read the sticky's and learned a great deal on how to handle my current situation. So again thanks.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR.

What's your big ol' story?

Goldwing

Hey thanks for asking. First let say say I've every used and I've learned way to much in the past 7 years about this world and I've dicided I don't want to be a enabler any longer. Now to make a long story somewhat short. Been married 16 years to someone I knew had had drug problems in the past, her early 20's. Life was good until 7 years ago when her father contracted cancer and passed away. They where very close and it hit her hard. 2005 she got addicted to prescription pain killers and got stedely worse until one night she came at me with a billy club. I call the police and she was arrested. Ended up being charged for assult with a deadly wepon and I had to ask that she not be indided by a grand jury. Between 2005 and 2011 she was in rehab facilities for abusing prescription drugs at least 3 times. Each time I forgave and each time we put our marriage back together. Then things changed in 2011, she was arrested for DUI (drugs not alcohol) as well as position. She went to rehap/mental hosptial again and got better. We got the charges dismissed and again moved on. got a new house - new car and wouldn't you know it at about a year later in 2012 she OD's on something (every could get her to tell me exactly what) and she ends up back in a rehap/mental hospital. When she gets out she is good for only about 6 months and I start to see changes in her behavior again. Late nights on the computer, angry at me for no real reason wanting off the her depression meds that sort of thing. Then we get to May of this year. And our communication is poor at best, we argue over the smallest things and when I try and talk to her he blames me for it all. We it get to the point where she is up all night several time through the week and then sleeps hard for a day or sow. final a few weeks ago I go to bed one night and as I move my pillow i see a bag of meth under my pillow. She is crashed on the coutch the next morning so I do a search of her side of the closet. What I find blows me away. 5 bags of meth, to bottles of pills I have know idea what they are and a bag with close to 100 pain pills. I colllect all this and take it to her family and show them as I know understand why all the strange behavior, anger and attitude. I confront her with what I found and she denys any knowledge and says she has know idea how they got there. I tell her that she has two choices - rehap or divorce. She does nothing for 3 weeks. During this time I've moved to the second bedroom and start thinking this is a huge problem and really looking at my part in it. I try several times to get her to come clean but she lies and lies. Then on thursday last week she leaves the house at 8:30 to get something to eat and I get a phone call at 10:30 from the police that she has been pulled over and can I come get her. So I go and in the end she is arrested again for position and DUI. The next morning I do another search and find another bag of meth, another pag of pain pills and pot. After all this time I finally understand that she will never change, that she has been lying along and that she is a heavey drug user. She is still in jail as I refuse to bail her out and I met with an attorney this morning to file for divorce. Strange thing about it is I still love her and hope she gets well someday. Just can't live with her anylonger. I know my story is probably been told hundreds of times here and that there is more pain and drama to come but I'm at that point where I needed to get a few things off me chest. Thanks for letting me vent.

Nuudawn

Aw hey Goldwing..you need a big ole hug. Living as you described..well, that a nightmare...for you. Obviously you are a decent human being who cares about the well being of others...but why so little for yourself? Is this the treatment or life you want? This is her fight...no ifs ands or buts. There is no shame in loving another being but sometimes we have to remove ourselves (like you have) for their betterment..and ours. Letting go is really hard..I know. I have had to disengage with my sister whilst she continues to drink and kill herself. She chose alcohol over me in a recent event..and well that's her God given right. But as long as she's drinking I will no longer engage. I will only engage with her when and if she is sober.

Dee74

Welcome Goldwing

I'm really sorry for your situation but I know you'll find a ton of support and understanding here

D

least

to SR! We have a friends and family of substance abusers forum here that you might be interested in. Give it a look if you want.

I'm glad you joined our family!

Goldwing

Thanks for the welcome everyone. Your all very sweet and helpful. So I need some advice. My mother-in-law got her out of jail last night and dumped her at my door for me to deal with. She is begging and pleading for another chance and says she is so sorry and loves me and would do anything to make is right. I really don't believe her but i would like to hear others experience and insights. Help! Thanks in advance.