TexasMichael

I've tried to use those feelings of regret as a positive sign that I was healing. All the emotions that I had dulled with alcohol for so long are now coming to the surface and I can deal with them with a clean SOBER mind.

My biggest regret now is how long it took me to realize that ALCOHOL was the main cause of so much my fear and anxiety.

The regrets quickly pass and allow my mind to work in the way God intended, but I still cringe at some of those painful memories. As you said, they are a good reminder to stay sober.

altchoice

Yes, on several occasions I've embarrassed myself. Since alcohol lowers your inhibitions, I've blurted out things that I normally would not have said. And, I've done things I wouldn't do unless I had been drinking.

MIRecovery

I remind myself and others that I am not that person any more

Grungehead

I noticed that several people mentioned that they are embarrassed to admit that they are in recovery. Most of the people I embarrassed myself in front of were friends and family. Most of my guilt is for things I did to these same people. All of them know I was a drunk and most if not all of them know I am in recovery. I drank for a lot of years so the secret was out on me LOL, they are just glad I'm doing something about it.

Christopher99

I get those embarrassing memories too! But some embarrassing flash backs are of sober moments. I think everybody has these whether they drink or not. In saying that, I have no doubt we former drinkers have many more cringe worthy moments then the average person.

360shoes

Yes and not just from when I was drinking. I even will have a flash from years ago when it was just a dumb mistake. Must be part of being human.

I am not my thoughts. They can come and go as they please.

Mizzuno

I believe that those flashes are the moments that we are reminded of how bad we can act under the influence. My last episode ( this is what I call it) was the most humiliating experience I have ever encountered.

I locked myself in my house, and refused to live. I could not believe that the shame I felt was as powerful as it was. You know what? It was just what I needed. I had to learn what I was capable of, and rise above what I thought to be my life's demise. SR helped me. I cried for a better part of a month. I could not look people in the eye. I would not hold my head up. My husband had to force me to look at him, he kept saying " Please look at me. Stop holding your head down." I couldn't. I just could not breathe, and I didn't want to be alive. Death was not an option. I felt such deep shame. I am moving farther away from those feelings, that ripped apart my spirit and literally broke who I was as a human.

It is okay. We have all been there. Breathe in and out, and let it move through you. Let your mind watch the situation, and do not take action. There is a message with all of this.
SR saved my ***. This forum held me when I was broken, and unable to speak. The people of SR walked me through all of that misery. The strength here is powerful. Keep posting and keep reading. Stay sober. We are all here for you my friend.

iwh

no one can know where you are at. this is always true.

false ego is them, see for yourself.

neferkamichael

Jwbm2013, the shame and the embarrassment of it all has practically vanished from me. I think the reason for it is because I don't do shameful and embarrassing things anymore.

DrunkenBob

So many embarrassing events I've lost count. Not sure how I will feel about them once I hit the 6 month mark but there are so many moments (many of which I've just been told about) I figure there is no point in dwelling on them.

Trying to look forward.

kittycat3

Hear hear! I get the same flashes of embarrassment - sometimes so strong I can feel the memory turn my face red. I let it sit for a minute, remind myself I don't ever have to go there again, and move on with the present. They have definitely faded over time too. I know I am not that person any more.

IWillWin

Yup. And it seems to sneak up on me while I'm driving of all things. I cringe. My stomach drops. I shake my head. And then I remind myself that I'm sober and I need to stay that way. It happens to most, I suppose with time it becomes less and less as we build positive and proud memories. I'm impatient though and wish I could just zap my brain of those embarassing memories with one of those pens they use in Men in Black. Lol!

Mirage74

Yea, I guess we all have some embarrassing moments from our past. I sure do. I guess the best thing to do is give it time, talk about it, and like someone said, make amends when you can. I guess sometimes people will understand, sometimes they won't. The best you can do is try to make up for it.

Notmyrealname

I didn't physically injure anyone but .. cringeworthy, yes. I shudder to think of it now.

My plan is to apologize once I have a year of consistent sobriety under my belt, hopefully that gives me a little more credibility (and also lets people's memories fade over time). And that's one more good reason to stay on the wagon, so hey ...