claryhen

Hello

here's the deal, I know he means well, but he keeps saying things like

'what, so you mean you'll not be able to share a bottle of wine with me ever again?'

'So really, you can't even go out and just enjoy a sociable couple of glasses and let that be that?'

'Really, not even over Sunday lunch? Just one glass?'

I know he's not being malicious and as a normie he really can't get his head around it but gee, this is getting annoying

Any advice gratefully received

AJ x

Dee74

Hi Claryhen - this comes up a bit.

I'm not sure there's any way to make people understand, not really - not unless they've experienced it themselves.

What we can do I think is ask them to support us in our desire to stay sober - even if they can't fully understand it, they can respect that wish.

D

StevenT

I definitely agree with Dee. The people that are close to me are grateful that I do not drink or use because I was not someone nice when I was. They saw first hand what I was like when I drank and used, and what I am like now, and the difference is enough for them to understand and accept.

If your SO hasn't seen the difference, or if you were not as I was when drinking or using, then it might be a little harder to convince him.

Perhaps you can try to explain how it makes you feel to no longer be in the throes of drinking. People close to us, that love us, truly care about our emotional well-being. Perhaps you can approach it from that angle. I don't know about you, but when I was still drinking and drugging I didn't feel good about myself, life, others, really anything. My emotional and spiritual health was in the toilet. Even though putting down the drink is just the beginning of recovery, making that beginning seemed enough to boost my self-esteem and my perspective on life. Things don't seem so dark and gloomy now. I don't want to go back to that other way of living, atleast not today

Lightning Bug

My husband was acting the same way.

ReadyAtLast

I agree with Dee. I don't think you can get him to understand. trying to convince him etc will just wear you down.The best you can hope for is acceptance of your decision and support. We alsoneed to accept others can't understand or itwill just annoy/frustrate us

Nonsensical

It would take so much effort for me to drink like a normie there would be no pleasure in it even on the rare events where I could pull it off. It's just easier not drinking at all.

MIRecovery

Have him read the description of the alcoholic in the AA Big Book