Raspberry

Last night I had a bottle of red. It's funny, the 6 days prior I had woken in the mornings and told myself "I'm going to enjoy a sober day", and I did. But yesterday that didn't happen, it was almost as if I had already decided in the morning that I was going to have a drink.

I don't feel gutted or displeased with myself; I tried that in the past and all those negative thoughts brought on a whole run of alcohol filled days. No, today I'm not starting at day 1 again, it's day 8 - plus minor glitch. This way I can keep positive thus allow those sober thoughts to flow again this morning.

It happened, sh*t happens, just gonna get back on it. What I have learned from this to not to get lazy with the positive sober thinking (and the alcohol cursing). Here's to a sober Tuesday and really am looking forward to it despite the faux pas

StevenT

I hope it works for you Thank you for coming and being honest with us, it's nice to see you're serious.

sugarbear1

thinking you still have 8 days is going to have you drinking again....it's those little white lies we tell ourselves....

cause I'd have 27 years minus a few "glitches"

Change4good

Glad you are recommitting. Here's to a sober Tuesday.

And when you hit that place where, as you say, "I already knew I was going to drink tonight," consider doing something different. Otherwise, it might happen again?

Organiclander

Raspberry

Do you go AA or Celebrate Recovery? I know it is the only why I can stay sober. Left to my own devices for me is a real bad idea. That is what happens one moment you not even thinking about drinking and the next you have a bottle of wine. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful as the Big Book says.

LadyinBC

It's not a minor glitch no matter what you tell yourself. You made a conscientious effort to drink that day.

I'm by no means judging you, but call it what it is. You aren't being honest with yourself if you think you have 8 days plus a "glitch". You are only fooling yourself.

When someone relapses, I would be the first one to tell someone to pick yourself up, dust off, and continue on. Figure out what made you drink, learn from it and focus on what you kept you sober.

If I was to drink today, then I would be starting out at day 1 again. No one can take the 358 days I have away from me, but I couldn't say I had 359 days sober plus a "glitch".

Fandy

i found that counting days made me more anxious. if you want to say 8 days minus one, by all means do so. lay out percentages, make an excell spreadsheet, whatever works. everyone looks at things differently. the most important thing is that you don't drink today.
planning to drink is where you have to look at the why...and figure out what you can do about it.
an entire bottle of wine is about 5-6 glasses?

Raspberry

Thank you for the advice folks, I do appreciate it.

Going back to day one has usually resulted in a drink. I'm only going from past experience and when I've 'relapsed' I've carried on with a stretch of drinking afterwards. I feel different this time around; I'm able to think positively and for the first time I feel confident enough to get back to having a sober day. This in itself is a positive step for me personally as I've never been able to do that before. Today I don't have any anxiety, maybe because I've not punished myself and calling it a relapse I don't know, I'm not really thinking to deeply into it this time, just trying to stay positive because this in itself encourages me to stay sober more than anything else. I guess we are all different and I'm not by any stretch suggesting that my experiences would be the same for anyone else. Perhaps I am fooling myself, this may be right, I don't know, but all I do know is that I'm confident that today I'm not going to have a drink. It's a step for me.

Organiclander I've not tried AA, I haven't really considered it as I want to try do it myself before I do. I'm a habit drinker, I rarely get 'drunk' but I do need to get into the habit of not having a glass of wine in my hand every day to live an anxiety free life. If in the future I do feel I need that extra help then I will certainly consider AA.

Thanks again guys

LadyinBC

And at the end of the day, that really is the important thing.

360shoes

Hi Raspberry,
When I first joined here I went two weeks than drank then got up the very next day and said 'nope, that's not going to work'..nothing magically changed...it was the same crappy drunk, hungover, and self loathing the next day like it always was. It was my last hurrah. That was when it all changed and I really did want to never drink again. Ever.

I don't count anything. Well maybe at first just to keep my spirits up but after a month or so I just focused on living my life the way I dreamed I could.

Dee always says this but it is so true for me. I can have one life or the other but I can't have both. The two lives are pretty clear to me now and I know which one i really want.

Keep moving forward and live the best life you can. You deserve it!

Bobby83

Don't let the trips/relapses get you down. Learn from them and move on.
I had mine and learn and got back on the horse.

Also I love what 360 said about not counting!

I don't count. Actually do t even think about it much other than telling myself I don't need a drink today, and I guess I am at 2 weeks today. Just sort of added up!

Get back on that horse. Celebrate the days you did keep it up. And make it a game. Try to beat that record

Nuudawn

Um..sometimes we have a habit of "playing down" our problem. I think you are a female...and drinking an entire bottle of wine...would constitute "drunk" to me. Pretty sure you would be "legally" drunk...pretty sure your liver would be in overdrive trying to process all that booze...pretty sure you should not be operating heavy machinery.

Just because you don't fall down and make an arse of yourself...does not mean your not drunk. Careful....careful here.

And I don't get all hung up on counting days yet your need to look at it as day 8..means days are somewhat significant to you or starting over wouldn't be painful...just something to consider

ru12

Counting days sometimes is just an exercise in ego boosting. As if it really matters one wit how many consecutive days you managed not to drink. Who cares?

It seems you are drinking less often, better is better. Don't drink today. Don't drink this moment. This moment is all we really have.

JettBoy

Thanks for being honest,it helps me be honest when I see others do the same and honesty is a big deal for me,I not good at it but I'm trying to learn...keep your head up ...

cb1

RU12 Thankyou!!

I also am not counting days (sober first of July...yes I know the date but not important). the important thng is NOT TO DRINK TODAY!!!!

Grungehead

I've gotten up to around 7 years sober two different times. The first time I was 29 when I stopped and the second time I was 37 when I stopped. Counting my time seemed important to me (and at the beginning it honestly was). I had grandiose thoughts about what it would be like when I had 10, 20, 30 years and being an "old timer". Of course I never made it to those milestones, and that's all they really are.

Now after an 8 year relapse I find myself quite a bit older and hopefully a little bit wiser. This is my third try at sobriety and I can honestly say that this is the first time I have absolutely looked at staying sober as a life and death matter. Doing what I need to do to stay alive today has given me a whole new perspective on staying focused in the present.

I took my sobriety for granted in the past and wasn't willing to go to any length to stay sober. I like the comparison Bill W. uses in the Big Book about seeking to escape our alcohol problem "with all the desperation of drowning men". I couldn't relate to that when I first got sober at age 29 but it defines my way of thinking today.

Cliches become popular for a reason, they sum up the truth in as few words as possible and they are simple to remember. The cliche "one day at a time" is one that comes to mind here. It almost seems too obvious yet it is hard to practice. The only way to stay sober a week, a month, a year, or 20 years is to do it one day at a time.

I got sober 90 days ago, a milestone of sorts in AA. It seems like it has taken a year to get those 90 days, but I guess at my age time slowing down is a good thing.