neferkamichael

Acheleus, 2 days and terrified? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Acheleus, you are determined to quit and I respect for that. Just never give up and you''ll do it. I went through what you are going through and now I'm 3 years sober. Rootin for ya.

sugarbear1

I suggest you journal what you can, we tend to forget how bad it can get for us.

Hugs to you

upandup

I'm pulling for you man, but this? ^^^^ Gotta call you out on. You wanted an excuse to drink. Going out with the lady from your apartment building went well, the next day you felt super low. We are a work in progress, and we have to find out what works for us. For some it's a hobby, for some it's volunteering, for some it's a program, etc. But we have to put ourselves in a place where we can get stronger in our sobriety (and no I'm not talking about pulling a geographic).

There's a thread over in the Alcoholism section (I believe?) about things people went through and still maintained their sobriety. It helps put things in perspective for me when the thought of drinking creeps into my head.

Take care, you have a lot of support here.

SnwFlower

Hang in there Acheleus. I have faith in your ability to beat it. You are strong and very capable.

I like Jennie's recommendation of treating yourself to ice-cream when you have cravings. I do that with raspberry frozen yogurt, and it works very well.

Acheleus

Just had pizza but still not very hungry. I still feel anxious and sad. I am done with worrying about anything but my sobriety. Staying sober is what I have to do. Thank you all for the advice and help.

RunningRaces

Good job man, you can do this.

soberclover

I am proud of you for continuing your recovery journey!

Nuudawn

Awww sweetie...just logged in and saw your post. I was travelling all day and at one point I thought about you and wondered how you were doing. I know the slip would throw you for a bit of a loop. I know that I came dangerously close to losing my sobriety this weekend. I could've lost it in a MOMENT...in one bad spell where my decision to quit drinking was suffocated by my anxiety and discomfort and well...self pity. Somehow I got through by the skin of my teeth. I got a pm that meant a lot to me...perhaps at the right time.

I'm not sure I would've made it back Ache...BUT YOU DID. You are a warrior my friend. You have a lot of stuff to work out...and honey, you need to keep your wits about you. Don't let the poison suck you back in the undertow...

It's moment by moment sometimes my friend. Stay connected...stay close.

wpainterw

Upandup wrote:"I'm pulling for you man, but this? ^^^^ Gotta call you out on. You wanted an excuse to drink. Going out with the lady from your apartment building went well, the next day you felt super low. We are a work in progress,"

I agree with that, and also have been told that a relapse may start, that is be subconsciously in the planning stage, well before taking that first drink. The Rational Recovery or AVRT folks might say that down there in the primitive midbrain there's a plan underway to try to get the alcohol back into the system. The "beast" in the brain is looking for an opening, an excuse, like a bad grade, or even a party to congratulate someone (like yourself for a few days or weeks or months in sobriety). So the message gets sent up to the more conscious "rational" part of the brain that "Hey! One drink wouldn't do any harm!" Then it's off to the races again. Maybe nothing happens for a day or so and the message then becomes, "Nothing happened! See! That means you can control it". Maybe nothing happens again and the message continues, "See! Nothing happened! Proves you can control it now. Maybe handle two drinks...." And, as time goes on the slippery slope gets steeper and more slippery and as the years go by it doesn't take more than a few days to get into deep deep trouble. It's that beast down in the midbrain and when it comes to alcohol it knows all about getting what it wants. It's your "Lower Power" but when you're drinking it's your "Higher Power". Slavery. The worst kind. Slavery from within.

W.

Louise82

Acheleus, congrats on day 2. You know you never have to black out, drunkenly fall down, make a drunken fool of yourself or any of that stuff ever again, because you never have to drink again. Even now, by taking the positive recovery actions you are, you're building up a defence against your next craving. The longer you stay sober and work on active recovery, the more you'll develop coping skills that will allow you to deal with stuff like low grades instead of drinking on it.

Yes, this is a disease but millions of people got into recovery from it in the past and lived long, sober lives. Millions of people are successfully recovering from it today. You can do it; there's no reason why you can't when so many other people are.

huntingtontx

Just wanted to say I understand. Glad you are trying again