Sorensen

I am an alcoholic, I admit it. I am not a typical drunk; I don't drink everyday and I don't have a flask on hand, or a vodka bottle stashed under my desk at work. In fact I have a steady hand, in good health and a solid job. Despite these upsides, I tend to binge heavily when given the opportunity about twice a month. I don't tend to get aggressive or angry, but I know I look like an idiot, especially when I'm chanting arab stereotypes in the back of a cab at 4:00 am and the driver has a turbin. It never ends well, especially the next day when I wake up at 11 am with a pounding head and sprawled over a **** stained leather couch. This one particular time I don't think I fully sobered up until 3 pm the next day and that's when the hangover hits in full force. You name it, the shakes, racing heart, dizziness, nausea, severe anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. I feel out of touch with reality, and death seems like a viable option. So this is the main reason I want to quit, the hangovers suck! I have quit several times before but have not made it more then a couple of months.

So I quit just for today, and I'll tell myself this every morning when I wake up refreshed a hydrated.

Nuudawn

I wasn't either. And I didn't live in a box under a bridge down by the river. But the more I hang out here...the more of a "typical" drunk I seemed to be.
If you can't stop despite negative consequences..time and time again... you gotta alcohol problem.

Glad you're here.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Sorensen

I think we all have a common problem - but we all have individual stories too
glad you found us

D

Acheleus

I am a binge drinker. I just had a relapse and I think you need to kind of push yourself and take alcoholism seriously. Today I suffered all the horrible after effects you describe. But I am starting again and I learned more about my triggers this time. Thanks for posting.

least

to SR! This is a great site, full of support and good people who want to help.

GracieLou

Welcome to SR

I don't think there is a typical when it comes to alcoholics. We are, after all, different people but we do have many things in common.

I drank everyday. I did not own a flask or a have a vodka bottle stashed under my desk or any other alcohol. I also had a steady hand, good health and a solid job.

We can be the same just as much as we can be different. I think it can create rough waters if we try and compare ourselves to others and that is just not for the alcoholic but for the alcoholic we can compare ourselves right out of recovery. i.e. I am not as bad as that guy, I did not drink like that guy, I did not drink as much as that guy, I never had a DUI like that guy, I did not lose my car, wife, kids, home, job like that guy.


This is key. One day at a time.

jeremyvoldovino

That's not too much a sad story. You have a nice lief just with bit of alcoholic disorder and lack of willingness to leave. Well its just a drink and You can easily leave it if You get decided by yourself. Do one thing start by reducing the intake once a month than once in two months and slowly get away totally.

visch1

[QUOTE=Sorensen;4069620]I am an alcoholic, I admit it. I am not a typical drunk; I don't drink everyday and I don't have a flask on hand, or a vodka bottle stashed under my desk at work. In fact I have a steady hand, in good health and a solid jobQUOTE]

I identify unfortunately and it kept me from being honest with myself and what alcohol was doing to me instead of for me. One day I was talking to my sponsor and like you going over the things I didn't do because of drinking. All he said YET = your eligible too. Try reading a bunch on this forum and KEEP COMING. BE WELL

Sorensen

no sponsor for this guy, I don't believe alcoholism is a disease like they teach you at A.A, however I do believe it is more scientific and has to do with brain chemistry. People that have clinical depression, anxiety, ADHD etc. all of which are a result of an imbalance of neurotransmitters in brain are much more susceptible to drug and alcohol addiction; this is a fact. These types of people (including myself) did not choose to be this way but it somehow manifests in many of us. Disease or no disease, I believe we all have the power to kill off our demons, no matter how sinister they can be.

bigsombrero

How did you learn all this about alcoholism? Have you been to AA? Treatment? Counseling? You are yelling racist remarks at cabbies, but you're not a "typical drunk"? I am pretty sure there are lots of folks here who have good jobs and didn't drink at work, and didn't act like jerks to immigrants either.

Good luck. Keep and open mind and look around and keep posting, I'm sure you'll find a lot of resources and support here.

PS - Arabs usually don't wear turbans. Those are for Sihks, usually. Totally different thing, bro.

jazzfish

All I know is that my drinking caused problems for me and I was never able to control it to the point that I avoided the problems. That made me miserable, yet I continued drinking. That's all I need to know about my "alcoholism".

Nuudawn

Although I agree that brain chemistry plays a vital role in addiction...I believe there are many more components crucial to recovery, like community and connection...and a little spirituality (however and wherever you find it) certainly do no harm : )

Sorensen

I have learned about alcoholism from my psychiatrist, psychologist, general practitioner, the web, and from other alcoholics. I have also been to A.A. meetings but they are not for me as I cannot put any hope, trust, or belief into a higher power; to me it makes no sense. I believe in the power of the mind and the body.

And I should of pointed out there are no "typical alcoholics" but different types of people that face different kinds of alcoholism - mine is binge drinking, another person may be a chronic alcoholic. (bottle of vodka a day kind of thing) Bottom line it affects us all negatively from so many angles.

Nuudawn

I suppose I feel some discomfort with your need to differentiate your alcoholism from others. Although we are indeed different individuals, the mind of an alcohol abuser seems to share many similarities and it is in our similarities we find community and a compassionate ear for our common struggle.

Sorensen

Sorry you feel discomfort but there are different types of alcoholism, not everyone experiences it the exact same and they abuse it for different reasons not a difficult concept to understand... the only common ground is all alcoholics have a problem of some sort.

deeker

When you drink, do you black out and wake up with shame, guilt and remorse? What brought you here? Is it causing problems in your life.

I think that's why I am here. R u like me now? Doesn't really matter how often we drank it is what happens when we drink.

Nuudawn

Pardon me Sir.. I guess I'm a little slow. You obviously have all the answers you need. All the best.

Dee74

so whats your plan?

D

Sorensen

I sometimes black out and usually feel pretty ****** the next day, including regret and remorse. I need to treat it like poison.