Whats the worse thing you have done when drunk
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
With all due respect, Anna, and I mean that with the utmost sincerity, threads like this might give someone the "permission" to confess and fess up to things they haven't been able to in the past.
I know, for me, that was very cathartic in allowing me to reflect on what it is that I have done. And what I hope never to do again without actually having to find the confidence to start a thread.
IMHO, Threads like these help me tremendously.
They help me to also see that I'm not alone. Something we addicts have a hard time seeing. That we are relatable.
And if they don't help someone else, isn't it just easier to click off of it and move on ?
I know, for me, that was very cathartic in allowing me to reflect on what it is that I have done. And what I hope never to do again without actually having to find the confidence to start a thread.
IMHO, Threads like these help me tremendously.
They help me to also see that I'm not alone. Something we addicts have a hard time seeing. That we are relatable.
And if they don't help someone else, isn't it just easier to click off of it and move on ?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
You get a real divide on these threads - newer members seem to flock to them, and older members have a different reaction.
I know when I was new here I wanted to fix things, I wanted to make things right, I wanted to undo all the hurt I did.
I think thats what drives these kinds of threads - an attempt at catharsis, confession, and new beginnings....as well as a burning desire to know we weren't that bad, or at least on a par with others.
But, when you see a few of these, they can easily become war stories...people can get bogged down in the shame and the embarrassment of things they can do nothing about now....even worse, there's a perverse kind of competitiveness that can arise sometimes as to who was baddest, or who did worst.
I think there's better healthier ways at catharsis.
So no...I have to be honest these aren't my favourite threads either
I still maintain today is the only day we can do anything about - I reckon you're far better off making plans to make a difference today, than you are wallowing in what you did wrong in the past.
D
I know when I was new here I wanted to fix things, I wanted to make things right, I wanted to undo all the hurt I did.
I think thats what drives these kinds of threads - an attempt at catharsis, confession, and new beginnings....as well as a burning desire to know we weren't that bad, or at least on a par with others.
But, when you see a few of these, they can easily become war stories...people can get bogged down in the shame and the embarrassment of things they can do nothing about now....even worse, there's a perverse kind of competitiveness that can arise sometimes as to who was baddest, or who did worst.
I think there's better healthier ways at catharsis.
So no...I have to be honest these aren't my favourite threads either
I still maintain today is the only day we can do anything about - I reckon you're far better off making plans to make a difference today, than you are wallowing in what you did wrong in the past.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I would have to say causing the death of another human while drunk was the worst thing I did while drunk.
am I ashamed of it? do I regret it?
for a veeeery long time I did. I stayed int he bottle to try and make it not happen.
today I don't regret it and am not ashamed to say I am accountable for it. but in order to get there, i had to abandon myself to God as i understand God, clear away the wreckage of my past, and work on not being that person anymore.
if i forget the past ill repeat it. if i regret it ill get drunk.
am I ashamed of it? do I regret it?
for a veeeery long time I did. I stayed int he bottle to try and make it not happen.
today I don't regret it and am not ashamed to say I am accountable for it. but in order to get there, i had to abandon myself to God as i understand God, clear away the wreckage of my past, and work on not being that person anymore.
if i forget the past ill repeat it. if i regret it ill get drunk.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Yes, we all have war stories. Sometimes it does help to spill our guts. As the saying goes "only as sick as out secrets"...for me, I find it more helpful to focus on the good I can now do while sober. As you can probably tell, I'm not a big proponent of looking back. I'd rather accept it, move on, and do such fabulous things now that I'd rather share than my drunken escapades. And there were many. Some I'm lucky to have lived through. But hindsight is 20/20 and I've seen it all clearly now. I move ahead with perhaps 20/10 but at least I can be proud instead of ashamed.
I do think there should be a place for brain dumping - in my early days it was helpful - so I support the opportunity to do so for others who need it. The beauty of this forum is that it allows for all insights. A thread about drunken decisions is balanced by on that asks what we can do today that we could not do before. Or why we are grateful. Or just a joyous post about beating the demon for a day.
Diverse opinions and diverse people. That's why I love this place and would be lost without it. I can also choose not to read a thread if I don't want to. Yet another reason to celebrate SR
I do think there should be a place for brain dumping - in my early days it was helpful - so I support the opportunity to do so for others who need it. The beauty of this forum is that it allows for all insights. A thread about drunken decisions is balanced by on that asks what we can do today that we could not do before. Or why we are grateful. Or just a joyous post about beating the demon for a day.
Diverse opinions and diverse people. That's why I love this place and would be lost without it. I can also choose not to read a thread if I don't want to. Yet another reason to celebrate SR
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I kind of have mixed feelings about these threads. I think everyone has done things we wished we hadn't and we can't go back. Best way to make an amend is to get sober and work on yourself so you don't do these things again. Even though I don't want to live in the past, I don't want to forget where I came from either.
On the other hand, some people need to get it out so to speak. Maybe they need to tell someone and this is a good place to do it. They aren't going to be judged here.
On the other hand, some people need to get it out so to speak. Maybe they need to tell someone and this is a good place to do it. They aren't going to be judged here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
To Pat (and to all of us):
"You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done."
- Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries
(In credit: I have copied this from Hevyn's signature on her page)
"You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done."
- Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries
(In credit: I have copied this from Hevyn's signature on her page)
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Example from You Know Your An Active Alcoholic If:
...if this thread made you join SR
Okay, I'm new here. Literal first post. I read every single post on this thread (over the course of a few nights and sadly, with drink-in-hand). I've never really thought of myself as having a problem (my roommates would certainly disagree), but the relatability of a disturbing majority of these posts has really opened my eyes. It's depressing, but thank you.
Anyways, here it goes, my personal experiences:
(like I said)...if this thread made you join SR
...if you have a tendency to throw your phone like an NFL quarterback after a few drinks.
...you've been disciplined/fired from work because you're often too hungover/drunk to make it in.
...Marilyn Manson's "I Don't Like the Drugs," starts to make sense.
...downing only a 750 ml becomes laughable. More please!
...drunk dialing/texting become a far too common ritual.
...it only takes a week for the new liquor store employees to know you. (with rotations)
...blacking out is no longer for big social occasions. Thus, "big social occasions," now entail sitting at home alone with your DOC.
...you spend more time online trying to determine if you have a problem, rather than admitting you actually do. (anything to keep the liquor flowing, right?)
...you've racked up bar tabs for yourself that are larger than your group of friends combined.
Well that's what I have for now! If anyone has some tips for me, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Take care, and stay sober, my friends!
--BFG
I sincerely do not understand why anyone would have a problem with alcoholics discussing their alcoholism and the depths of despair it brought us to. History is bound to repeat itself. On one hand I hear be positive, move forward, make a plan, etc. From others I hear, it's a pink cloud, don't get too secure, etc.
If it doesn't apply to you, move along. Nothing to see here folks...
...if this thread made you join SR
Okay, I'm new here. Literal first post. I read every single post on this thread (over the course of a few nights and sadly, with drink-in-hand). I've never really thought of myself as having a problem (my roommates would certainly disagree), but the relatability of a disturbing majority of these posts has really opened my eyes. It's depressing, but thank you.
Anyways, here it goes, my personal experiences:
(like I said)...if this thread made you join SR
...if you have a tendency to throw your phone like an NFL quarterback after a few drinks.
...you've been disciplined/fired from work because you're often too hungover/drunk to make it in.
...Marilyn Manson's "I Don't Like the Drugs," starts to make sense.
...downing only a 750 ml becomes laughable. More please!
...drunk dialing/texting become a far too common ritual.
...it only takes a week for the new liquor store employees to know you. (with rotations)
...blacking out is no longer for big social occasions. Thus, "big social occasions," now entail sitting at home alone with your DOC.
...you spend more time online trying to determine if you have a problem, rather than admitting you actually do. (anything to keep the liquor flowing, right?)
...you've racked up bar tabs for yourself that are larger than your group of friends combined.
Well that's what I have for now! If anyone has some tips for me, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Take care, and stay sober, my friends!
--BFG
I sincerely do not understand why anyone would have a problem with alcoholics discussing their alcoholism and the depths of despair it brought us to. History is bound to repeat itself. On one hand I hear be positive, move forward, make a plan, etc. From others I hear, it's a pink cloud, don't get too secure, etc.
If it doesn't apply to you, move along. Nothing to see here folks...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 332
I totally agree LadyinBC. For me, it's good to read these because I liked to think that those bad things couldn't happen to me...I'm not that bad...and all those other lies my AV told me. But if they happened to the good people here, they can happen to me...
June
June
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
With all due respect, Anna, and I mean that with the utmost sincerity, threads like this might give someone the "permission" to confess and fess up to things they haven't been able to in the past.
I know, for me, that was very cathartic in allowing me to reflect on what it is that I have done. And what I hope never to do again without actually having to find the confidence to start a thread.
IMHO, Threads like these help me tremendously.
They help me to also see that I'm not alone. Something we addicts have a hard time seeing. That we are relatable.
And if they don't help someone else, isn't it just easier to click off of it and move on ?
I know, for me, that was very cathartic in allowing me to reflect on what it is that I have done. And what I hope never to do again without actually having to find the confidence to start a thread.
IMHO, Threads like these help me tremendously.
They help me to also see that I'm not alone. Something we addicts have a hard time seeing. That we are relatable.
And if they don't help someone else, isn't it just easier to click off of it and move on ?
I was beginning to think I had done something really awful
I had no intention of hurting or making people feel uncomfortable when I began this thread. I just felt it was and still do, helpful to remember how we got to this point and how we never want to get back to that point again. I have never till now thought I could tell anyone how I felt and still do. I thought the whole idea of coming onto a forum such as this was to help each other. After reading some posts especially from administrator, I honestly was trying to delete my profile and come off the site. The last thing I want or anyone else is to feel I can’t say things, this forum is helping me immensely I have no one I can talk to with regards my drinking who understands , they think I haven’t a drink problem they think I should just control it. I am not a negative person I usually try to be positive. I now feel I won’t post again..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by aw58
Thank you for the above post and anyone else that didnt slate me for trying to be honest
I was beginning to think I had done something really awful
I had no intention of hurting or making people feel uncomfortable when I began this thread. I just felt it was and still do, helpful to remember how we got to this point and how we never want to get back to that point again. I have never till now thought I could tell anyone how I felt and still do. I thought the whole idea of coming onto a forum such as this was to help each other. After reading some posts especially from administrator, I honestly was trying to delete my profile and come off the site. The last thing I want or anyone else is to feel I can’t say things, this forum is helping me immensely I have no one I can talk to with regards my drinking who understands , they think I haven’t a drink problem they think I should just control it. I am not a negative person I usually try to be positive. I now feel I won’t post again..
I was beginning to think I had done something really awful
I had no intention of hurting or making people feel uncomfortable when I began this thread. I just felt it was and still do, helpful to remember how we got to this point and how we never want to get back to that point again. I have never till now thought I could tell anyone how I felt and still do. I thought the whole idea of coming onto a forum such as this was to help each other. After reading some posts especially from administrator, I honestly was trying to delete my profile and come off the site. The last thing I want or anyone else is to feel I can’t say things, this forum is helping me immensely I have no one I can talk to with regards my drinking who understands , they think I haven’t a drink problem they think I should just control it. I am not a negative person I usually try to be positive. I now feel I won’t post again..
We are all different, and when others post threads with subject matter that might effect me in a negative way, I simply do not read them. I am nothing special, but I do understand that what might be a negative to me, could be a life changing positive to someone else, so I have no business saying anything against it.
Please keep posting and reading, you will find positives for you here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 119
i am just now trying to learn about the phrase 'war stories' and why they are taboo in 'recovery' because of this thread.
this is an area of recovery very new to me and took an interest based on the reactions of some of those more familiar with it.
i'm finding the guidence to focus on the present and find who we can be now very helpful and encouraging.
i also found aw's posts to be kind, helpful, inspring and think it's great aw is sober with these accomplishments.
this is an area of recovery very new to me and took an interest based on the reactions of some of those more familiar with it.
i'm finding the guidence to focus on the present and find who we can be now very helpful and encouraging.
i also found aw's posts to be kind, helpful, inspring and think it's great aw is sober with these accomplishments.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
no offense intended.
My feelings, and the reasons for them were pretty clear I thought, but if they offended anyone, my apologies.
If anyone felt maligned by my personal remarks or you have any discussions you want to have with me about those remarks, my PM inbox is always open - but the boards simply not the place for that discussion.
If people think sharing this stuff is important - and several of you obviously think it is very important - then I think it's best we get back to sharing that, yeah?
D
My feelings, and the reasons for them were pretty clear I thought, but if they offended anyone, my apologies.
If anyone felt maligned by my personal remarks or you have any discussions you want to have with me about those remarks, my PM inbox is always open - but the boards simply not the place for that discussion.
If people think sharing this stuff is important - and several of you obviously think it is very important - then I think it's best we get back to sharing that, yeah?
D
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by aw58
I am not a negative person I usually try to be positive. I now feel I won’t post again..
Take what you want from the responses and leave the rest
. It's all good!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: San Antonio, tx
Posts: 4
The only time I could ever forgive myself was when I was sober for a long stretch of time. Showing I wasn't that person anymore. Now, I'm back to laying in bed at night rehashing the day before and dwelling.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 552
<--- the Tom Brady of phone chucking...
EDIT; just noticed the controversy... because I'm oblivious and was skimming. LOL AW58, I don't think you should feel bad for starting this thread! Post lots more. What's helpful to some, isn't to others and that's life- you know?
Also, our ever changing moods tend to influence how we perceive information. It's possible that 10 minutes from now, I'll dislike this thread too. Who knows?? LOL For some, this may honestly be a topic best avoided for their own mental health. For others, it may be just the reminder they need to stay sober for one more day. That'll never be wrong in my book!!
EDIT; just noticed the controversy... because I'm oblivious and was skimming. LOL AW58, I don't think you should feel bad for starting this thread! Post lots more. What's helpful to some, isn't to others and that's life- you know?
Also, our ever changing moods tend to influence how we perceive information. It's possible that 10 minutes from now, I'll dislike this thread too. Who knows?? LOL For some, this may honestly be a topic best avoided for their own mental health. For others, it may be just the reminder they need to stay sober for one more day. That'll never be wrong in my book!!
Last edited by EverySngleNight; 12-24-2013 at 03:48 AM. Reason: obliviousness to controversy, wanted to give away my dime.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 426
Aw, please stick around!! I am in the very early stages of recovery and have seriously considered drinking over the holidays. Right now, I am drawn to these threads because I need the reminder of the bad things that drinking brings. . . so thank you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 286
I have no idea what the worst thing I ever did was. I'd have to ask someone else, because I probably was blacked out. However I refuse to dwell in the past about things I have done, as it isn't in my recovery best interest. Today I'm focusing on today, not yesterday, not tomorrow.
Best wishes everyone.
Best wishes everyone.
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