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Why am i violent when drunk

Old 07-19-2013, 09:55 AM
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Why am i violent when drunk

I've been a heavy drinker for a long time. Mostly I drink alone, but whenever I go out to a bar/club I end up being in a fight.

Is it my nature or some side-effect of alcohol.
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Old 07-19-2013, 09:57 AM
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They say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

Consider possibly that the anger may even come from you not wanting to drink. I got angry when I drank. Found myself being more angry at me than the target.

Stay sober. See who you really are.

K
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:05 AM
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I'd say a bit of both really. I know that for me, anger was one of the only emotion, I was rather in touch with...and allowed. I drank through the majority of my emotions. Alcohol lowers are inhibitions (so if anger is already there, guess what's coming to life) and seems to stimulate aggression. The only way to really figure any of this out is with your wits about you. We have to face ourselves in sobriety and get ourselves the tools in order to do so? How are you facing your sobriety? What support systems or mechanisms do you have in play?
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Nuudawn View Post
I'd say a bit of both really. I know that for me, anger was one of the only emotion, I was rather in touch with...and allowed. I drank through the majority of my emotions. Alcohol lowers are inhibitions (so if anger is already there, guess what's coming to life) and seems to stimulate aggression. The only way to really figure any of this out is with your wits about you. We have to face ourselves in sobriety and get ourselves the tools in order to do so? How are you facing your sobriety? What support systems or mechanisms do you have in play?
I'm an expat in Shanghai, China. I have no support systems or mechanisms in play. I'm 7k miles from a country where I don't need a visa.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:15 AM
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I don't know why this happens...jeckyl and hyde for me when I drank. I am a pretty nice person sober but, once in a while I would "lose it" drunk. Say horrible things that I honestly didn't mean just to hurt other people.

I am not a fighter however, was just hateful with words when I drank...
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:16 AM
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Geez, well I'd be angry too : ) I'd count SR as one...at least, it's one of mine. Isolation threatens sobriety. We need to connect with others in the journey of recovery..and well, life for that matter. So I guess slamming someone in the face is human connection right? Not the healthiest but perhaps..that's what it is. Fighting..and arguing even..is a displaced, destructive, dysfunctional form of intimacy.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:19 AM
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I often asked myself if those who abused alcohol and then me, if it was because of their illness (I blamed the alcohol) or if it was something about me that just seemed to bring out the worse in them.

If the anger emerging and subsequent abuse that followed is from the alcohol, then did my leaving hurt or harm my ex more?
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:26 AM
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JKB, I used to say my ex was like Jeckel and Hyde. He could be loving but in the flip of a switch become mean, nasty and abusive. I blamed the alcohol as the more he drank, the worse he became. He'd claim to have no memory of abusing me at times, but other times, recall what he did... He is also a severe type 2 diabetic. So it was easy for me to say it wasn't him... it was his disease... it was me... etc... Can I ask, do you ever feel guilt, responsible, etc?
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:02 AM
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Why are you violent when drunk? Nobody here can answer that, it's something only you can answer.

The best way to figure that out is by getting sober. Seeing things through sober eyes helps you find a pathway into your issues - and more importantly puts the spotlight on the road to becoming a healthy, happy, peaceful human being. I hope you are planning on quitting drinking and that this forum is useful to you in that regard. Best,
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted by MandyButterfly View Post
JKB, I used to say my ex was like Jeckel and Hyde. He could be loving but in the flip of a switch become mean, nasty and abusive. I blamed the alcohol as the more he drank, the worse he became. He'd claim to have no memory of abusing me at times, but other times, recall what he did... He is also a severe type 2 diabetic. So it was easy for me to say it wasn't him... it was his disease... it was me... etc... Can I ask, do you ever feel guilt, responsible, etc?


Sorry OP... but just real quick...

MandyButterfly,

I too was a blackout drunk...like your ex. i would feel absolutely horrible after I found out the things I did and said. HOWEVER...

son't let anyone abuse you... it is never you and you dont deserve it. I stayed in a violent relationship far too long (him not me ) and the best thing I ever did for myself was get the hell out... Jess
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:16 PM
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If I drink too much, I become aggressive and mean. It's like a switch goes off in my head and I turn into a monster. I have fought family, friends, and complete strangers while drunk and it's all completely instigated by me. Ten minutes after I go into these rages I am wondering why i got angry in the first place.

Everyone's brains are different and alcohol affects that part of the brain that regulates your emotions. I am just one of those people that doesn't respond to excessive alcohol with pleasantness.
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:21 PM
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When we begin to work thru those issues
that seem to be the culprit of our addiction,
working with councilors, theraphists, and
others that are specialized in their fields,
then they can help unlock many of those
pent up anger feelings and what many
cause them and how to work thru them
instead of fighting, yelling, argueing, drinking
or using over them, then you can begin to
heal and become a healthier member living
a recovery life.

There are so many reasons why people
want to numb feelings or forget past issues
as a child, not deal with them or get angry
over people, places and things not acceptable
to them.

Once we find the answers we are looking
for to address those problems then we can
move past it and begin living a happier, more
content, honest, healthy life for yrs. to come.
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:12 PM
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What differance does it make. Dont drink. When I hit myself in the head with a hammer it hurts so Idont do it. I dont ask why it hurts
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:19 PM
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I would like to add that my brother has realized that alcohol can stimulate great rage in him...which he fears may affect his marriage...among other things. He has never quite as strong an issue with the drink as I. He has successfully been able to keep a commitment to NEVER have more than 3 beers in a sitting for fear of that rage. He has kept that commitment for a few years now. It's not something I obviously could..so abstinence is my thing...but my point is, the non-alcoholic mind seems to be able to say "hey, if I do this bad stuff happens...so I won't do that anymore".
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:20 PM
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When I wasn't drinking I was busy storing all the things that I resented greatly and was angry about. Then, if my husband even looked at me in the wrong way or said one little thing that I perceived to be off kilter the storage bin would open and out came all of that anger. I said some pretty horrific things. This, all from a person who would do anything for anyone.

I have a feeling that it was due to my resentment due to my codependency when I wasn't drinking. There were things that I said that were completely not true but the anger was real, for certain.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:42 PM
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lol i hit the bottom of a bottle of whiskey. Called someone and said i'd 'skull **** obama with a 50 cal'.

This morning I was woken up by the police at my door.
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:12 PM
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There's an old vaudeville joke that goes something like

'Doctor doctor...it hurts when I do this'
The Dr says 'well....don't do that'....


Sounds like alcohol is causing you trouble, regardless of whether you're at home or out.

Do you think it's time to stop and see how sobriety treats you, egok?

D
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:22 PM
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I too would become angry when drinking. Like for no reason. I guess I have a lot in me because when I started to sober up I was mad at the freaking world for about 3 months!! I never learned how to handle my emotions and then as I got older I drank them away. Sobriety allows me to handle my reactions with a clear mind. I still get angry but not the jekly and hyde kind. Hope you give it a shot and see what it's like without the numbing poison
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:28 PM
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I went one year sober, not a drop. Yes I felt better, both emotionally and physically.

BTW i've never been violent towards women. Even when i'm so drunk I can't tell my ass from my elbow. I don't believe being drunk is an excuse for violence against women.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:22 PM
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Egok....alcohol makes me angry as well...I know for me, I suppress all of emotions when I'm sober, cuz I'm so worried about what others will "think". So, when I drink it all comes out as anger. I guess I need to work on that in therapy. Here's to feelings!
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