AugustWest11

As much as I hate to admit needing people; I must say living here is gonna be so hard on me mentally :-( Don't think it will drive me to drink though, b\c I know that will get me deeper in my hole; but I do think not having people in my life will drive me deeper in my depression. Have a Doc. Appt Wed. So going to remind her about counseling. Since my pain has gotten worse in my back we focused on that last time. Trying to get the courage up to call this person about a room *sigh*. Trying to avoid whining hence I started using the blog feature lol

FatallyUncool

Hey August West,

I like the name and avatar. I'm a deadhead and phishhead. I've been going to shows since the 90s. I'm not sure what your living situation is and I tried to read your blog but SR wouldn't let me.

I know for me a lot of the time things just suck and I'm like "what's the point" and life doesn't feel any better than before. Someone told me that I just need to keep trudging through and hope that it will pass over time. I know if I get high and drink again things get really terrible and completely hopeless for me.

Yeah, courage is a thing for me too. I have to have faith that these things will get better in due time.

AugustWest11

Thanx; but really I have no faith as for the blog might be a damn setting that I funked up lol

visch1

I also needed/need people in my life that have an understanding of my dis ease. Many reasons people give for not wanting AA but it is my salvation even if........ I need to get out of my own way at times reduce my ego, and be honest with myself. Flesh meetings fulfill that as we can tell by the tone what's going on lots of time, like finger pointing and being told that 3 are pointing back at me. I may not like it all the time but I continue going. BE WELL

FatallyUncool

I understand. I was miserable while using and then miserable while clean. But people didn't give up on me, even when I had given up on myself, and I have faith in you, even if you don't right now.

I went to my first NA meeting just to be around people on a Friday night, and not in a bar or in the back room at a party, or (most likely) alone in my apartment. It felt good to hear that some folks were succeeding and some struggling and that I was not alone.

Dee74

make sure your blogs not set to private August
and no I don't know much about settings and how to do it lol

D

AugustWest11

Thanx .. Yea; I am not a people person .. Never have been .. No Matter how many shows I went to; once away from shakedown street and the "circus" I was a total recluse basket-case lol have been like this my whole life. Drugs\Alcohol might have played a part in this; but think it is more of a mental thing now . Hence I am seeking counseling Wed. well a referral to counseling at least when I go for my monthly check up and Med refill ...

Bruce292

Hey there. Counseling IMHO can be a great thing. Go "let it out" with someone who's objective. Sounds like you're battling so much right now. Relationships, chronic pain, living situations, etc. Tomorrow this heat should break hopefully with some dramatic thunderstorms. If they come I plan to have a loud and dramatic Terrapin playing. For whatever reason thunderstorms, or the potential of one, was one of my triggers. Go figure. To counterbalance that I crank Terrapin. It just seems to fit. OK, so I'm just a bit off.

Again. passing alone some good Karma if such things are possible. I truly hope things work out for you. The fact that you've stayed sober through everything shows an inner strength. Let it shine!

AugustWest11

Yea Counseling has been on my mind awhile anyway; so now is the perfect time :p Battling more now then I have ever .. Think being sober is partly to blame lol Thanx Bruce .. My recent struggles make me thing "Don't tell me this town got no heart." lol

messyliver

I've recently moved to Spain alone to pursue my career. I thought it would help me to move away from my destructive town, destructive friends and family. But i've actually drunk a lot more since i've been here i think. I'm lonely and i'm struggling. It's hard to admit after making such an effort to get away x

AugustWest11

wow; I mean I moved cities for love; only to have it crumble before my very eyes .. Alcohol wasn't directly involved so to say; but it was an underlining factor .. I stopped drinking considerably when I moved up here . But alas stress & such did catch up w\ me .. I do feel ya .. Keep at it and focus on "What you Want out of life." that has helped me daily recently. I know it is said here allot when struggling one day at a time; But occasionally it does help; least for me, to focus on the big picture and my goals .. Good Luck ..

messyliver

Thanks for the advice. One of the main reasons i wanted to move away was a messy break up. That did a lot of damage to my liver. I thought being back in Spain would help me a lot but the stresses of a new job and readjusting to a new culture are really getting to me. Plus the insanely low cost of alcohol is not helping!