another question that I need help with
 

Once you start on the path of being sober, when does the "you did this to yourself", or 'you won't stay sober long"? stop getting you so down...:c004: I don't blame my family/friends for not believing in me....i have let them down so many times.....but damn, Im trying!!

What other people think of you is none of your business. Don't let their negativity get to you. As long as you are trying and you know you are, that is all that really matters.

If it's their trust you seek , give it some time . Concentrate on you , be kind on yourself. Think where you are , try not to dwell on the " why me ". How much time do you have ?

I like this saying….

“What other people think about me is none of my business”

It is the truth. We cannot control it so why fret over it. All we can do it remain sober and work whatever recovery program we are doing.

Stay on your side of the street, let them walk on there side.

thanks everyone! I really needed to hear this today!!

Yes, what other people think is none of our business. This sobriety stuff is not easy to grab onto. Im always reminded of Anna's little statement " Sobriety has stops and starts" .....We may learn the first time, and then we forget. We then try to get it right with a second try. Once again, this is not easy. Keep pushing through. With each try, we learn something new about ourselves. You can do this.

When you are honest with yourself about your sincerity and are trying that's all you can do. It took awhile to get to where we are and it's not going to get better as fast as we want it to. I should know! Hang in there it does get better one day at a time. BE WELL

It does take time, just as another poster
said above. We didn't just over night make
a mess of ourselves, our life and all those
inbetween us. As it took time to screw up
things, then it will take time to make right
the wrongs we have done.

The most important thing in recovery is to
learn and be taught about our addiction and
how it affects us as an individual because
each of us are made up differently in our
bodies, minds, thoughts, system.

We don't have a time line to follow, no
deadlines to meet. All we have to concentrate
on is just for today. Learn a little something
today and add to it each day you remain
sober.

Recovery and sobriety are special gifts we
can give ourselves. Be kind to urself and
soon you will understand.

For me, my recovery is my own. I wasn't
able to make others understand my addiction
so I had to accept that fact and accept people,
places and things just as they are, no matter
if I disagree. If Ive stay sober today, then Im
extremely grateful for it. For me and those who
understand me. Those who are traveling the
same road of recovery as I am.

Thank God for the fellowship in recovery because
without their understanding, care and acceptance
of me, I would surely be drunk, crazy or possibly dead.

Focus on YOU, because YOU are that IMPORTANT... :)

I was thinking a lot about my prior alcohol use yesterday. I was either trying to escape my own vicious mind or intolerable circumstances. For me, it was incredibly important to realize that I had to make my mind/self a much more hospitable place...one I did not want to flee from. I wish there were easy answers in how to turn that negative stream of self battery OFF..how do we switch the channel so to speak? How do we reprogram the constant stream of abusive thoughts? How do we turn off MEAN Radio..or the live simulcasts from others..lol. I guess that's what this little sober adventure is all about. For me, I'm really trying to make friends with myself.

Please know that this kind of thinking is not conducive to your sobriety CB...but unfortunately it comes with the territory because we addicts are NOT so good at being with ourselves...being patient and tolerant and self soothing. We tamed the beast of our brains by drowning it. There are better ways. We must learn empathy and compassion for ourselves..it ain't easy because we don't know how... but it MUST be done.

thank you so much!!!

It stopped when I realized I deserved it. I now stay sober for me. What others think is not my concern

Negative thinking is addiction's great ally. Quitting is hard. Failing is easy, especially if we believe it when we tell ourselves it is going to happen, or when we fall for our guilt trips.

There are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques that will help combat negative thinking. But basically it comes down to this: Thinking doesn't make it so.

Yes, what other folks say at times is indeed a pain in the a--. Maybe their beastly, childish midbrains are trying to send insidious messages to your midbrain, hoping that you'll relapse and bring the alcohol back. Toxic talk. Avoid these folks, particularly in the early stages of recovery, when you are less sure of yourself. Later on when you've got a bunch of recovery under your belt you can sit back and wonder how stupid they are.

W.

I was sitting having a coffee earlier, taking a break from my housework and my oldest daughter came in. She asked me if I had been drinking because I hadn't finished what I was doing. I am ten days sober today! It threw me when she asked that and I felt a little furious inside!
But then I thought I can't control other people's negative thoughts, but I can control my own! And that is a good place to be! Don't worry what others think. Good luck on your journey:)